Fandango’s Provocative Question #9 is:
“What are you struggling with the most right now?”
Number one struggle right now is deciding whether or not I want to go back to work.
I like to work and I’m a dedicated worker, but I can’t work in my field of choice in this town because my choices are limited in number and in pay because of my previous job. This would mean I would have to work in a larger town 50 miles away, which would then bring up the issue of whether to drive it every day or relocate to the other town. If I stay in my current home and drive, it’s going to put so much wear and tear on the car, not to mention the expenses of it. If I relocate, I’m leaving what is, essentially, a dream home – except for heat source and internet access! – and moving to a big city with massive traffic backups, lack of privacy, toxic neighbors, etc.
Aside from the logistics, there is the budget considerations. On a fixed income since June 2018, it is very apparent that my purchases and potential activities (e.g. traveling) have shrunk to fit it. I’m fairly set as far as paying for the basics but very little wiggle room. For example, the game and the LPs I bought last week should have gone for utilities. So… as far as having enough to stay alive, I will live, but do I want to keep just barely scraping by?
Another consideration, since June, I’ve done pretty much exactly as I please, when I please as far as a schedule, even within its budgetary limits. Do I really want to go back to getting up with an alarm clock every morning?
Finally, getting up (whenever) and coloring and listening to music, then reading and writing on WP until whenever, then doing my duolingo lessons, then watching movies or DVD series until bedtime (whenever) has been the most blissful lifestyle in recent memory. Do I really want to leave the bliss and get back to the grindstone?
Positives of going back to work would be to be earning money for vacations, etc., possibly moving to the big town where both of my kids live so I would see them more, and the rewards a quality job would mean as far as helping others who are struggling.
There it is, long answer, to my most pressing struggle.
A song that comes to mind while thinking about this provocative question is from Dave Matthews Band as far as whatever I decide to do: