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dVerse — quadrille #94 — Mercy

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Mercy

I see her.
If hawks could roar, her voice would echo off the silent trees.
Instead redtail’s plaintive cries enter my ears without fanfare
Even cardinals and doves congregated at the feeder
Pay no mind to her whine. Dove’s demise comes mid contented coo.

WhimsyGizmo (aka De Jackson) is today’s host of dVerse.  De says:
Today, as we head into the new roaring 20s, I want you to urge your words to roar.

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43 thoughts on “dVerse — quadrille #94 — Mercy

  1. I get the death theme
    and many of the feelings.
    well done.
    love the pic

    But here are my wonders of the poem:
    Title is “Mercy”
    So, first line says, “I see her”
    It makes me think “her ” is mercy but rest does not follow
    so I think, “No, it is something else”
    Oh, maybe the poem needs the pic, so I am suppose to think “Hawk”.
    But you make haws plural so it is death?
    You see death?
    But death has a plaintive call? Why would death be plaintive.
    Oh, maybe it is the prey she is talking about.
    May the hawk sees the prey, but next line talks about hawks like the speaker is not a hawk.

    So, who is the “I” and who is the “her” in the first line?
    I am guessing the I is you. And the “her” is some bird the hawk kills. But I am guessing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your feedback, Sabio, thank you. Check it out now, maybe it is more clear. Mercy for me is that the dove was not fearful at the time of death and it was a quick death.

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  2. Yes, helps a bit. Because you asked here is more:

    But, as Kooser says, I’d let the title guide the reader slowly and also the first line

    Title: A Red Tail’s Cries

    So the first line: I see her. Makes clear who “I” and “her” are.

    But the second line is still odd to me:
    If hawks could roar, her voice (who, the red tail– red tail dove or red tail hawk)
    And what is the fanfare — what would fanfare be?

    See, I get lost.
    But I am a bad reader of poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Again thanks for feedback, I will think about a better title. Maybe I should think about making this a first person poem. E.G. If I could roar, my voice… With fanfare involving birds, it might be they all take flight to get away from the menace… Your thoughts help me polish my poem, and they alert me to my sloppiness.

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  3. I love watching birds, but hawks are quite rare here. I’ve seen one or two. I like the phrase ‘her voice would echo off the silent trees’ and the way the silent coo wraps up the dove’s demise so neatly. Thank you for bringing the scene at your bird feeder to life, Jade.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It seems you are equating mercy with the bliss of ignorance – both the superimposed ignorance doled out by the predator and the deliberate ignorance of the prey. A very subtle comment on where we are today politically. Probably I’m reading way to much in these forty-four words, but making us think is part of a poet’s job, as is on creating vivid imagery – kudos on both counts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder if there is such a thing as a poet who isn’t part sociologist, part philosopher, part naturist? You’re right, Christine, there are a lot of ways to look at the scenario. Your comment is very much appreciated!

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