dVerse — Prosery — Answered Prayers

resized snow white rose red

I pray to God that she may lie
Forever with unopened eye
— from Edgar Allan Poe’s, “The Sleeper

Millicent and I are born eighteen months apart; she in the heat of August, and I in the chill of January. Our temperaments follow our seasons. She, vivacious, fire in her blood; and I, pale, introverted, with a tendency towards piety.

Where Millicent flirts and whirls weekends at the dance hall, I spend long afternoons in my room, praying.

Mother convinces us to attend the welcome reception on Sunday for Father Obsidian, the new priest. His waxen skin and skeletal frame repel me — perhaps self-loathing? — but from the moment Millicent looks into his empty green eyes she is lost.

As fire drains from her spirit, I grow robust, my cheeks a pleasant pink. She passes on a Tuesday.

Time to pay up – or else,” “Father” Obsidian warns. But I don’t.

I pray to God that she may lie forever with unopened eye.

[144 words]

top image:  “Rose Red Snow White,” by Jena DellaGrottaglia

Melissa is today’s host for dVerse’ Prosery Monday. Melissa asks us to write a prose story of up to 144 words (not including title) using the top quote.

53 Comments Add yours

  1. kim881's avatar kim881 says:

    I love the way you introduced your characters in the opening paragraph, just enough for your reader to understand them – poles apart. Father Obsidian is a nasty character – I wonder why Millicent dies while her sister thrives – are they in it together?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Kim. I see there being sibling rivalry between them, at least from the pale sister’s perspective, which leads the pale sister to pray for unwholesome outcomes…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kim881's avatar kim881 says:

        You’re welcome, Lisa. That’s what I was thinking.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. ”His waxen skin and skeletal frame” make me wonder if he doesn’t fit into Kim’s vampire tale somewhere. Such mystery and suspense surrounding Millicent’s death.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      It’s possible there is a vampire connection. Maybe he’s found a way around the daylight danger? I wonder what’s next for the snow white sister who has taken rose red’s vitality? When you make a deal with a demon and renege, it could get complicated for her…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What happens next?!🕵🏻‍♀️

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

          Good question!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. There is a gothic theme in this, The pale sceletal father is a character I think could fill a whole book. Love it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much. At first I thought the Father would drain her vitality into himself, but it made much more sense for him to be the unholy conduit that gives the life force to the jealous sister.

      Like

  4. merrildsmith's avatar merrildsmith says:

    Oh how creepy! Well done! I understand the fairy tale reference, but it also made me think of the Netflix miniseries, Midnight Mass.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Merril. I don’t know the fairy tale beyond the names. My son saw Midnight Mass and advised me against watching it. Probably good advice!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. merrildsmith's avatar merrildsmith says:

        You’re welcome, Li. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dale's avatar Dale says:

        I am not a fan of horror but this series was fantastic. I really enjoyed it. What part do you think your son wanted to protect you from?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

          Dale, I don’t know but I know he knows I don’t like supernatural horror and don’t like anything too extreme.

          Liked by 1 person

    2. Dale's avatar Dale says:

      Which was brilliant!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Nicely done, Li. Poe would be proud💓

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Cindy. With that ending it made me think of The Tell-Tale Heart. It’s all Melissa’s fault! ;)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so welcome, Lisa and thanks for the laughs… of course it’s her fault! 🩷😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Absolutely gorgeous image! 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Gia :)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Debi's avatar Debi says:

    How well you describe the sisters. The contrasts are striking. I love this macabre tale

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Debi, thanks much. I like the word macabre for it.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Steve's avatar Steve says:

    Such treachery! Almost a take on “slow and steady wins the race?”
    A captivating read, Lisa, and I love the featured image.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Steve, I agree on the treachery. Millicent may have envied her sister’s ascetic life as much as her sister envied hers, but why such a gruesome punishment on her own flesh and blood! Thank you, Steve, and I lucked onto that image. It’s a beaut, I agree.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. rothpoetry's avatar rothpoetry says:

    Great story, Lisa. Sounds like an ominous situation! Something is going on for sure…. beware of the priest!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Dwight, I thought Father Obsidian sounded pretty ominous. I think she opened a door she wished she never had. Thanks for reading and your thoughts on the story.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rothpoetry's avatar rothpoetry says:

        You are welcome. Yes, a great choice of name.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. memadtwo's avatar memadtwo says:

    Chilling, with just the right amount of uncertainty and mystery. Also, great painting. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Kerfe. Agree on the painting.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ooh, what haunting verse. I love all of the insinuation. The dark and light and reversal of unexpected roles here. So good, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Katie, thank you.

      Like

  12. Badfinger (Max)'s avatar Badfinger (Max) says:

    You described me pretty well being born in January…quiet and introverted. I wonder if that is the norm? Love the art work….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Not sure what the stats are for it, but that’s a question. I was born in June and am quiet and introverted also (at least in real life!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Badfinger (Max)'s avatar Badfinger (Max) says:

        LOL… yea I always wondered about that. I’m a Capricorn and I’m much like the rest.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. This is cool and creepy and so very POEtic! I love what you did, Lisa! 🖤 Father Obsidian! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Nancy and I smile at POEtic :))

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Sadje's avatar Sadje says:

    I didn’t expected the ending. Very clever writing Li.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Sadje thank you :)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje's avatar Sadje says:

        You’re very welcome 💕

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Dale's avatar Dale says:

    What a great read, Lisa. You chose the perfect image, as well. Love they way your mind works…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Dale thanks so much. The story shifted as I wrote it, to where it wanted to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. love the description of the sisters. I did expect the skeletal priest to absorb Millicent’s life force but did not expect the sister’s jealousy and her acquiring vitality. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Sascha, glad to have gotcha-ed ya. Thank you.

      Like

  17. Misky's avatar Misky says:

    Perfect lead-in with descriptions of the sisters, and an unexpected twist at the end. Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Misky, thank you and glad you enjoyed those elements of the story :)

      Like

  18. SelmaMartin's avatar SelmaMartin says:

    So this Father Obsidian is quite the character… I know, they’re not all good. And now the sisters are separated by death. What will the good bad Father Obsidian do now? Intriguing story, Lisa. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Selma, thanks much. I’m guessing he’ll move on to his next “call.”

      Like

  19. Unknown's avatar Anonymous says:

    I’ve known my share of bad priests, and in popular culture it is quite the trope; but there are good ones too. You never really hear about them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Totally agree. This happens to be one of the bad priests. Or is he really even a priest….

      Like

  20. pvcann's avatar pvcann says:

    I love the tour of motive and psychology in this, a wonderful story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Paul, and appreciate what you see in it.

      Like

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