The older she got, the less sure she was about anything.
Ready or Not
At Rosita’s, her favorite dive, nestled into a corner hidden in the shadows missed by candles, Jin sips Jim Beam and Coke and lets her eyes roam around the room. There’s old Bern, sitting at the bar with Matilda. They’d been regulars here when she was still in paisley halter tops and time-faded bell bottom jeans, a new girl in town, and a stranger to every lonely sap in the small neighborhood bar that the big city has ignored for the last 50 years. Being forgotten sometimes has its perks.
Jin’s eyes play a tennis match with her phone and the door. He said 9 and he is never late, but it is 9:15 and her drink is getting to a place where she will order another or ask for the check. Mae, her favorite waitress, meets Jin’s eyes from the bar and Jin gives her a nod. One more for the road whether he shows or not.
Cat Stevens is crooning, “Father and Son” on the jukebox when the door slams open and Ven rushes in. He is out of breath, and his dark skin is red from the bitterly cold wind blowing tonight. His eyes swivel back and forth, scanning for her. Seeing her, he speed walks over to her table, sits, and says, “It’s been awhile.”
Aside from his already described features, Jin doesn’t smell the familiar whiskey on Ven’s breath. His hand is steady as he pays Mae for a tall ginger ale. His words are unslurred as he makes small talk with Mae.
Jin thinks silver hair suits Ven. The wrinkles around his bright green eyes suggest laughter that has been since they parted, as smiles are not in their shared past.
“Silver hair suits you,” says Ven, as if mirroring Jin’s thoughts. She studies the ice cubes in her glass, takes a sip, and says, “Ginger ale?”
“Long story,” he says, and pulls out a 10-year sobriety chip, pushing it across the table. “I quit the day you left me.”
Jin lets that sink in. Then why didn’t you come back? She thinks.
“I wanted to come back a thousand times,” Ven says, again mirroring Jin’s thoughts. “But I wasn’t ready. Until now.”
The older she got, the less sure she was about anything, but one thing she was sure of was that she’d never stopped loving Ven. Another was that she knows when he is lying. She finishes the Beam in one large swallow and says, “What do you really want?”
Ven’s shoulders slump. He pauses while looking at the checkered tablecloth.
“Margo needs us. We have 48 hours until they kill her.”
[~440 words]
Fandango is the host of Fandango’s Story Starter.



Wow. Great set up. Good pace. Like the names too. MORE!
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Steve, thanks! I’m trying to write longer stories. Glad you liked this one and appreciate the detailed feedback :)
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Enjoyed this muchly Li
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Paul, thank you, glad you enjoyed it.
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Jin’s eyes play a tennis match with her phone and the door.
I love this image!
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Dwight, thanks :)
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you are welcome.
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Whew- what a biting twist! So well done.
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V, I’ve been using your stories as a model. Hope you don’t mind.
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Please do. I’m honored 😊
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<3
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Great story, I like what you did with this prompt, Lisa
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Thanks much, Jim.
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Alrighty then! We got us a situation! Great storytelling, Lisa, with a well- played twist-er-roo! Nicely done.
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Thanks much, Nancy :)
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Very welcome.
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Alright Li, welcome to the noir story writers club. This was perfect. I love how you set this up, your dialogue was fantastic, and the unexpected ending was icing on the cake. Bravo! 👏👏
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Fandango, I like the sounds of “the noir story writer’s club” :) Thanks much, and glad you’re back at your original blog (the one I remember as original.)
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I love the way you create a visual story in my mind with your words, Lisa. Have you ever thought of publishing a collection of short fiction? You have a lot of pieces that would go well in such a collection. I’d buy it!
I am such a slow reader, but find I enjoy short stories a lot and there’s a certain satisfaction in getting through a story in a short time… and I’m sure it’s got something to do with shorter attention spans that are plaguing the world nowadays, but then again, short fiction is an art form in itself, and you are very good at it. (I’m currently enjoying a collection of Kurt Vonnegut short pieces that a brother gave me for my birthday years ago.)
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Steve, you’ve made my day (after seeing the new George Harrison stop motion video, that is) with your comment. Yes, I have thought about it and appreciate you saying you’d buy a copy if I did. I feel the same way about short stories. I still love reading novels, but with short stories you can sneak one or two in whenever you have a moment. Bailey White is a great short story author. So is George Saunders. I’m imagining Kurt V has some good ones.
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Ah, I’m glad to have added to the joy in your day, Lisa. You’re right about how easy it is to get in a short story.
The Vonnegut collection is Look at the Birdie and is very fine. All range of situations. Loving it so far. Thanks for the author recommendations!
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Will add that Vonnegut collection to my list :)
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I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
And on the topic of books, if I remember correctly, you might have said something to the effect that the last part of Bono’s book was a bit cumbersome. I finished it quite a while ago but a few times was thinking, whoa, Lisa was onto something… he’s going on and on a bit here! Nonetheless, I enjoyed the majority of it, and appreciate his beautiful writing and commitment to socioeconomic justice.
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Steve, I’m glad Bono told it his way. I’m glad I finished it and that you did also. I echo your sentiments on a great man who is great in so many ways.
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Yes, he sure is. One of our friends, a teacher, did a project in Africa to help a village build water storage and she saw on social media that he was at a resto nearby when U2 played here in 2011. She was fangirling and saw him that night and they met up. She him about her project and he made a drawing like in the book that said “I See You.”
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What a wonderful happening for your friend. Thank you for sharing that <3
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You’re welcome. Yes, it was pretty special and she was very excited. ❤️
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That beautiful image is delightfully cosy. ❤️
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:) yes it is <3
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Wow, Li, fabulous story! xo
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Thanks much, CA <3
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