Rancid Spam
Make-upped face like a hatchet
ponderous gait like a teletubby;
not cute like snowpuff Moomin,
more bloated like dying whale
flopping on a deserted beach.
Long beyond expiration date
like grey-slimed celery in bin.
Greasy like sauteed monkey
brain, contaminating mad reign,
causing pain like vice-crushed
finger with no money for treatment.
A focal point of angry hatred
like a big boil on flaccid penis.
No botoxed lips will wrap around
it, whether wife or trafficked girl.
Cankles like orange crushed cans;
Veins like those of OD’d junkies;
hijacked vatic vessels as mushy
as carved rancid Spam. Smirks,
lies, grifts as evil as Bundy and
Dahmer, eating souls as breakfast,
lunch, and dinner. Digest already!
Tao Talk
You have reached a quiet bamboo grove, where you will find an eclectic mix of nature, music, writing, and other creative arts. Tao-Talk is curated by a philosophical daoist who has thrown the net away.
Tao Talk 
I think you had fun writing this simile poem, Lisa! I certainly had fun reading it! I can’t say I loved ‘greasy like sauteed monkey brain’, and I dread to think how you know that it’s greasy, but it is original and evocative. The same can be said for the ‘big boil on flaccid penis’!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kim, I did have fun writing it. I took poetic license with greasy like sauteed monkey brain. Was reading about how groundhogs used to cooked on Groundhog’s Day as the main course back in the day, and I combined that with some rhyme or another from childhood that had “greasy grimy gopher meat in it.” With the flaccid penis with a boil on it, I used my imagination, as that’s what I imagine his looking like. Thanks for the fun comments :)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yikes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never look at that can in the same way Lisa. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Randy, my work is done ;) Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel you have insulted a can of Spam rather thoroughly, Li, by comparing “the big boil” to it. I have to say you’ve crushed the rhetorical use of simile in a way that is perfectly satisfying to one who shares every bit of your sentiment regarding our “Spam” of a president. Still, I’m laughing hard enough to cry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
<3 <3 <3
LikeLiked by 1 person
This similes mad me sick to my stomach… to be likened to rancid food is a great insult… lard-head or not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was laughing and trying not to hurl as I wrote it. Lard-head is a new one but fits so well.
LikeLike
This was brilliantly gross, my friend! I feel Spam should be given its proper due and boy, didja ever! So good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dale thanks much. I tried to use the similes I think of when I think of … human spam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant!
LikeLiked by 1 person
<3
LikeLiked by 1 person
this could be said about more than spam. but lets not go there.
there are a couple of open mics I read my poetry at I think this would be right up their ally. could I please share ?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rog, I think you’re onto something about other applications.
Yes you could and can share it, just have the barf bags ready for your listeners ;)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome. Let me know how it goes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Next one is snday the 22nd
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi lisa
Uou poem about spam got the kind of response i hoped for. At the open mic i attended yesterday evening. I thought of that particular adience when i read it. Aa they have reponed well to porms of that nature
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rog, AWESOME! I’m glad your audience sees that not every American is bending over for lunch meat.
LikeLiked by 1 person
the posh pub the Bell Inn do have a wicked sense of fun. they agreed with your description of spam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
<3 :)
LikeLike
monkey brains? Never had those. LOL, nice one
much love
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a good thing, Gillena, you never had them. I avoid them like the plague. Thanks so much <3
LikeLike
The picture made me flinch! But I love how you served up your poem – Jae
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jae, I understand the flinch and I appreciate how I served up the poem, thanks <3
LikeLike
He deserves every word. (K)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, he does, and his little dog too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Luckily for dogs he doesn’t have one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woe…what prompted this one, my dear? I have a feeling you’d just finished reading the morning’s news…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Judy, you’re feeling is right. Every morning’s news lately. Enough is enough and he has gone so far beyond enough…
LikeLike
Damn! This is straight 🔥🔥🔥
LikeLiked by 1 person
~Jay
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jay, thanks. And I was being kind! lol
LikeLike
Wham bam thank you mam for the Spam! Thanks to your crotchrot similies, I will ever look askance at my gift to the ladies. May the Lissome Fates evict Sir Don Spam-A-Lot from our collective Jell-O!
LikeLiked by 1 person
:) There is a special place in hell for his crotchrot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😅 So funny Lisa loved all your explicit sillies – frankly I think Spam should use this in their advertising 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Ange, I think so also!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
Spam…it’s totally gross, Lisa! LOL
Can’t believe our mother fed us that stuff occasionally…or that we actually ate it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lynn, I hear you. Fried spam on white bread. :::GAG::: What about those little Vienna Sausages? Or that deviled spread? (forgot the name of it.) The closest a person can come to eating s–t I think.
LikeLike
yeah, i just can’t “like” that stuff ;)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think Dale nailed it with “brilliantly gross!” 🤮 😂
Yet as disgusting as Spam is, he is even more disgusting.
Of course, my first thought with seeing the word “spam” was the Monty Python sketch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks much for your comments, Merril. I really wish he was the kind of Monty Python spam, i.e. funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Li.
Yes–sigh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You made me giggle with your colorful similes (except for the more heinous Bundy and Dahmer references). Your poem pulls no punches, Li!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jennifer, happy to make you giggle but understandable on excepting the soul-eating part. I just felt like letting it all spew forth in this one, you’re right. Thank you <3
LikeLike
Wow! You really blasted this one into outer space, Lisa. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dwight, sometimes I choose to vent it instead of letting it eat me up inside. This was one of those times. It honestly feels like I’m a tiny mouse and a jumbo sized elephant is trying to stomp on me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Writing is much better that physical violence. It does feel that way sometimes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This reminds me of Mr Creosote! Maybe it was ‘spam’ that led me there…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aczPDGC3f8U
Excellent Lisa 👏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shaun, I can see why you would! May the same end meet the human spam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not a fan of spam, huh? Lol! Great poem, Lisa!
Yvette M Calleiro :-)
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL :) Thank you, Dear Yvette.
LikeLike
Whoa!! You went to Spam town! Love all the unique, disgusting similes.
Hmm….now that’s something I never thought I’d say.
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol Mish! love you characterizing it as going to Spam town. Exactly so!
LikeLike
Spam always looked rancid to me anyway. This is hilarious! Excellent similes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sara, we used to fry it, which adds insult to injury ;) Thanks.
LikeLike
Oh dear Li, what a fun ride this was! I can imagine you writing this while smiling gleefully. Thoroughly enjoyable. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Punam, I did. Glad you enjoyed my glee :) <3
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, take a bow Lisa … take a million of them!!! You are most deserving of every possible accolade. I gobbled your poem up … well not all of it. LOLi
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha, Helen :) glad you liked it.
LikeLike