Poetry Day 13 — Attitude & Price

Today’s offering is in the following form:

The Blitz Poem, a poetry form created by Robert Keim.

The prompts for today’s OctPoWriMo includes, “If I Were You. Are there things you sometimes need to get off your chest? When was the last time you felt strongly that someone needed to see things from your point of view?”

I’m a 60 year-old woman and you would think by now I’d have this all figured out.  It sadly may never be.  And that’s OK, even if it hurts.


Attitude and Price

kill the ego

kill the attitude

attitude of over

attitude that maims

maims equal

maims comfort

comfort needed

comfort denied

denied warmth

denied relationship

relationship with mother

relationship with daughter

mother punishes

daughter rejects

rejects old patterns

rejects being played

played against siblings

played as a puppet

puppet for control

puppet wants to be real

real, not puppet

real in your eyes

eyes blinded

eyes empty

empty of caring

empty when rejected

rejected brings evil

rejected brings pain

pain in yearning

pain needs relief

relief in distance

relief in forgetting

forgetting our pattern

forgetting our pattern?

pattern remembered

pattern avoided

avoided means free

avoided means goodbye

goodbye mom

goodbye pain

pain in goodbye

pain of no mother

mother’s arms

mother’s love

love of a parent

love with a price

price of pattern

price non-negotiable




15 Comments Add yours

  1. Dawn D says:

    A beautiful follow up from yesterday’s poem.
    You HAVE learnt. Ye, I think, like me, you’re the eternal optimist, hoping maybe they gave up on the toxic patterns…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      i think if i can put that pattern down into words, maybe i can send it to her, and if she can see it, maybe… yes i am an eternal optimist, no matter how much it hurts sometimes

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Dawn D says:

        Well, you just did put it into words, did you not?
        I hear you about the eternal optimist part.
        Your Mom is probably closer in age to my Gran, and I know some of the things that prevent my Mom from telling her off is 1) she’s the only one she’s got left and 2)she’s so old now, she’s not going to change. A close 3) I believe is that she’s afraid that, if she tells her off, she’ll kill her.
        In the mean time, my Gran is slowly killing my Mom with her passive-agressive, shame-on-you ways.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          i think you have a good handle on the dynamics i’m dealing with 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Dawn D says:

            Yes, unfortunately… :/


  2. rhscribbles says:

    I feel your pain. Very well expressed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      it was/is painful yes. thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I found this so raw and moving. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      you’re welcome. thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          thank you, Sam. I really enjoy yours as well 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Shuku says:

    It really says everything, and the blitz form brings out the poignance of it all so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      thank you i’m glad it got the feeling across


  5. I am often known for saying this with regards to various things, but “there is something very cyberpunk about this.” Now that is just a feeling, onto more solid impressions: I like how the words repeat a pattern, not just within the context of the form, but also the poem. It illustrates not repeating patterns and the often-present inability to completely break away from them perfectly. So by way of saying what you wanted to say, I believe you have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      thank you for your kind words. i’m glad it got the message across to you

      Liked by 1 person

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