A Guy Called Bloke has asked for the scoop on the vices of Pimp Imp and his Norty Buddies.

Pimp Imp’s December’s Delightful Dastardly Deeds

28th Dec

“The Vices of New Year’s!”

Again being the Norty Imp that I am, my poem will be on The Vices of New Year’s Eve, not Christmas.

The Word of the Day Challenge is goal.  Fandango’s FOWC is adventure.

‘Twas the night before New Years’ and all through the club

Every creature was snorting to house tunes by Dub.

Us Imps were hung and hoping to get laid

We’d worked so much overtime for Christmas and had just gotten paid.

The ladies were strung out by the DJ with crinkles

While visions of powder had them offering their kinkles

Me in my leather and Scoobie in his cap

Had just settled down for hot dances on our laps

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my ho to see what was the matter

Away to middle I flew like a flash,

Hand on my 9mm, ready to blast

The mirrorball on the breasts of the pole dancers showed

Who was punching, who was packing, who was ready to glow

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But an elf dressed in red PVC and holding a beer

My boss, a fat bast*rd so lively and quick

Musta slipped Ms. a rufe, I’ll be damned, ’twas St. Nick

More fly than Rick James, his dancing was hardy

And he whistled and shouted and yelled, “Start this party!”

“On Cherish, on Chasity, on Twiggy and Vixen

On Donna, on Kewpid, on Lana and Trixin!

To the top of the pole, to the top of the club!

Now, dance away, dance away, rub on my nub!”

As Dub cranked the jams, Santa and us Imps got cranking,

Glugging whisky and brandy got us ready for spanking

We and the ladies all thumped to the jams

Hootin and hollerin in the throng of our fans

And then in a twinkling, I heard by the door

The Po-Po were raiding, they cleared the floor

When they saw it was Santa they said nevermind

They began to party with St. Nick and were soon doing fine

When midnight approached we each grabbed hottie

Santa got first pick, Lana, with the best body.

As the clock struck 12 champagne overflowed

As we drank and we kissed, on wasted overload

We sloshed and we tongued til 12^th ding of the clock

The nortiest partiers on the whole block

At the end of the night, when it was time to go

He sprang to his limo and left the show

I heard him exclaim, “Happy New Year to All

Make adventure your goal and you’ll have a ball!”