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dVerse — quadrille — Hungry

hungry-troll

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Frank is the host of dVerse today. Frank says:

The word for the quadrille today is “troll” or any variation or arrangement of it somehow in your poem. So. To get to the point, to participate write a 44-word quadrille using some variation of the word “troll” in the poem.

Frank, I took your advice today. Closing my eyes, I got myself into “the zone” and just started typing what percolated to consciousness and stopped. Then I pared down what had been typed into 44 words. I think it turned out amazing. THANK YOU.

Cold mountain depths,

darkness, slimy walls,

amidst scattered leftover bits.

Lurking, listening for toe taps

Tip toeing the bridge –

they make the tenderest morsels.

Nostrils as big as baby chicks,

sucking air, climbing.

Meals never run fast enough

to escape my grimy calloused paws.

54 thoughts on “dVerse — quadrille — Hungry

  1. Hey Jade,

    I really, really enjoyed this. I fantastically painted a picture of a child’s nightmarish grimy troll — to be feared and avoided. And the “meal not fast enough” was sadly gruesome and wonderful. LOL

    Since you are one of the few who does not mind feedback, knowing it is just my impression and of no objective value, I offer two.
    1) I’d change coldest to cold, since nothing is compared
    2) I personally do not enjoy the large spaces you put between each line. I’d save those large spaces for stanzas. To me, it breaks up the flow of the writing and yells “I’m important”. But that is just me and my silly trollish thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “[S]adly gruesome and wonderful” is high praise, thank you Sabio. I changed coldest to cold, as it makes sense, thank you. I am not sure what is up with formatting on WP but it insists on those gaps on some and not on others.

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      1. There are two ways to handle that spacing in WordPress for poems:
        (1) When going to next line, hold the shift key while you hit return.
        (2) Compose in a plain text editor and then cut and paste into WP.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you for the tips. I rarely compose in WP, and strip all formatting from the text editor, and cut and paste. It doesn’t make a difference for some reason 😦 I will try #1 next time withing WP and see what happens.

          Like

    1. Thank you for reading and the comment. Sabio is to be thanked for the “Cold” of the mountain! I had coldest. Now that you say Cold Mountain isn’t he a poet from way back? I may have one of his books of poetry.

      Liked by 1 person

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