Grace is the host of dVerse today. Grace introduced us to two forms, the Lai and Lai Nouveau for a month’s worth of practice.
Grace says:
This article on Lai and Lai Nouveau will be updated based on your inputs and grow into an entry for our upcoming book. Please write a Lai and/or Lai Nouveau.
This is a first try at a Lai form. I’m open to any feedback and hope to polish it over the next month. For anyone trying it, make sure you choose words with LOTS of ones that rhyme or slant rhyme. If you make it a longer one, you’ll run out of rhymers if you don’t.
Franz fought Hans – a chance
with Margritte to dance —
this night.
Each man held a lance
As each was entranced
by sight —
her beauty’s expanse
fired quest for romance;
hearts bright.
Demeanors intense
they knew in advance
death’s bite
by morn would dispense
one man’s sad mischance,
not spite.
Crowd pooled in suspense
Bets placed for and ‘gainst –
Now fight!
Fueled by lust each pranced
Wills to win enhanced
with might.
Jabs, swings, Hans advanced
Which Franz blocked against
skilled knight.
A mighty heave askance
Franz pierced Hans, death’s trance
finite.
Sir Franz at a glance
had blessed circumstance
dance night.
Handsome, good finance,
Pedigree, big plans,
alive.
Imagine how tense
when Margritte just danced
with Mike.
Tao Talk 
This looks very difficult to write.
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cute video to go with the comment. no it didn’t come easy
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A lusty fairy tale, and a nice use of the new form. I had to smile at the double meaning of /each man held a lance/as each was entranced/–shame on me.
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lol Glenn, I sure wasn’t thinking that when I wrote it, strictly based on rhyming words — but it fits — and I know there goes another double meaning ;)
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You made this impossible format stand on its ear and entertained us with a tale of bold knights of old and fair maidens. I love it!
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Beverly thank you so much. I’m glad it entertained you :)
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How exciting this story is with an unexpected ending. Actually the original form tells of tales of romance and adventure. You did well on both themes, with a twist.
I like the action on the third stanza. Quite a feat with those rhyming words. I thought the ending stanza needs polishing but you got the ending right with: when Margritte just danced
with Mike. May I suggest: big plans// tonight (instead of alive)//But lo, he got tense….
Cheers!!!
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Thanks so much for the feedback, Grace :)
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Wow Lisa! What a great job you did with this form. I’m inspired to try now 🙂💕
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Christine thank you very much for the kind words and glad you are now inspired :)
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I like your poem… you did very well. Your twist at the end is great! I could see it all happening in real time!
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:) Thank you for the feedback.
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Splendid, Jade! Four stanzas all on form and I enjoyed the tale!
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Thanks Kim :)
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I had to smile at the end :) You captured the spirit of the lai very well.
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Thank you Jane :) I made the word list from rhymezone and near-rhymezone and laid them out together to see what jumped out. Hans and Franz and lance did, and the rest took care of itself ;)
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It’s supposed to tell a story, and yours certainly does that :)
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I never hear of this form before. Funny ending 😀
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:) It’s first time hearing of it for me also. I loved the ending because it’s so realistic.
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Excellent Jade!
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Thanks Linda :)
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He didn’t get Magritte after all. Nice ending.
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Thank you, Frank. Will Hans and Franz had it all worked out, they forgot to consult with Magritte on it.
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Amazing. So apparently, the early versions of this form were indeed narrative stories with the rhyme helping memory and performance. And you did a startling job of each. Then, with that final humorous turn at the end. Fantastic.
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Beginner’s luck, but happy to take the praise, thank you, Sabio.
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Wow! I enjoyed the tale and you have really done a wonderful job with the form. Going to try it soon
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Thank you Namy, very much. Looking forward to seeing yours when it is written.
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Oh I do love the storytelling, with a wisdom to come… the maiden was perhaps more interesting in deciding for herself…
I doubt that this Franz
ever had a chance
in love
to grow from his stance
on morder, in dance
he’s shoved
to the corner perchance
by gentle romance
as shown…
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I love your chapter <3 and I agree
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You’ve managed the rhymes so well! And dancing is a perfect subject for the rhythm. I like how it tells a story too. (K)
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Thank you Kerfe :)
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Perfect example, great lines.
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Thanks Paul :)
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Pleasure
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Nicely done. What story you told in a few words using what I find to be a very difficult form. 😊
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Thank you, Imelda :)
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