M is the host of dVerse today. M says:
So today, the prompt is Limbo – a word that has very different meanings. You need NOT incorporate both meanings, or even use the word itself – use a synonym, if it suits you. Since it’s been a long month, try to keep it under 100 words.
This is a Joseph’s Star form, a poetry form created by Christina R Jussaume on 08/06/07 in memory of her Dad..
i.
Trapped
in this space,
past, present, future’s
glue strip, all of me stuck fast;
even while admitting that
I crawled here alone,
eyes open,
blind.
ii.
I’m
dangling by
a wire o’er quicksand.
Were I to work my leg free
of its bite, I would then plunge,
pain-free, but smothered.
Which death
now?
It’s even worse… even if you plunge you will be back at the top again after the jump…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this. Thank you for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it, you are welcome.
LikeLike
You’re cheery this evening! The two halves stand alone for me. The first one in particular; powerful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jane. Going through a rough patch right now. The poetry helps.
LikeLike
Poetry always helps 🙂 I hope the spring brings a change for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Limbo seems to resonate with darkness out here on the trail tonight. I like the idea of shape-poems, though they can be difficult to create.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s hard to stay in the light with limbo. These were based on syllable count of 1-3-5-7-7-5-3-1
LikeLike
Glenn, I tweaked the 2nd one. If you get a chance, take a look at it and see what you think.
LikeLike
Nice lines: “I crawled here alone
eyes open,
blind” This presents the loneliness and delusion I imagine might be in limbo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Frank. You might be right…
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a riveting write. As usual, I took an irreverent slant. I so admire those of you who lend it such substance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Beverly, lots left to purge…
LikeLike
This was excellent Jade, dark and powerful. Love the piece, and the (nearly perfect) concrete form.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Rob. After what Glenn said, I started thinking maybe I should put synonyms in the right places to smooth out the 2nd one.
LikeLike
…and I LOVE the painting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, I thought it went well with the content of the poems.
LikeLike
Heavy choices seem to always leave us in limbo! Like your poetic form!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dark and powerful write, specially the first one. Enjoyed the form and shape of the words too. Hope you are doing well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Grace for the feedback and the concern. It’ll take awhile to get extricated from the glue strip, but there is no getting around that.
LikeLike
Beautifully written
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sadje.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure 😇
LikeLiked by 1 person
eyes open, blind…how often we fall into the same patterns. (K)
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is really good. Sorry you are having it rough right now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Max, thank you very much, it is appreciated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the glue strip image.. and the rest.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Judy.
LikeLike
Nice form. The picture it makes on the page echoes the dilemma – I like that. Of course, it’s a dilemma we can all imagine, and shudder from. The kind of question my boy asks at the dinner table…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Kim.
LikeLike
you’ve captured that in-between angst – and from still inside, I gather, so am sorry for that, but not for this excellent, thought-provoking pen. Thanks for adding your voice
~ M
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much, M, for the feedback and kind words. Your prompt was good for bringing some of it to light.
LikeLike
Very impressive how you stuck within the form and still made two stanzas that leave the reader hanging on to every word
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Laura, glad you connected with them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dark and foreboding, no good ending here, only to choose the lesser of two evils.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a difficult place to be. Thanks for reading, Linda.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the shape of the Joseph’s Star form, jade, especially the way each stanza starts and ends with one word, emphasising the words ‘trapped’ and ‘blind’ in the first stanza. I love the phrase ‘past, present, future’s glue strip’!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Kim and didnt’ think of the star shape and the content, your view is appreciated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent imagery, Li.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Punam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person