(c) all rights reserved · 3TC · Fandango's One Word Challenge (FOWC) · fiction · The Haunted Wordsmith · Word of the Day Challenge

Zigzag (Wo)man


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My name is Baron, yes, Baron, and I’ve been robbing banks all of my life. Bank robbing and prison go together like tea and honey, like frogs and ponds; you’ll seldom find one without the other. There’s always going to be somebody saying, “Put the money in the bag.” There’s always going to be slip-ups for bank robbers, who go to jail. The highest level crime in a capitalistic society is not killing or raping, it’s stealing from the rich. That’s why there are so many bank robbers in prison.

I’m in prison this time for 10-20. Years, that is. With good behavior, I’ll be out in 7. If I rat out the people on my last job, it’ll be 3, but then I have to go into wit-sec (witness protection program) and it’s not worth it, as snitches usually don’t live long. Plus, if they do, nobody wants to work with them. I would only be serving 10-15 if I hadn’t tried to escape from the county jail while they were holding me for trial this last time.

My cellmate is Earl, yes, Earl, and Earl’s in for carjacking. One of the best things about prison – yes, there are good things about prison; surprised? – is it’s a vast networking system for a lot of really good – although often unlucky – bank robbers and other assorted criminals. Even though Earl knew nothing about bank robbing, his Grandma did. When you’re locked in a 10×20 cell with a person for months or years, you do a lot of talking between you. Bank robbers and car jackers LOVE to talk about their old jobs. When they run out of their own old jobs, they will start talking about old jobs their friends and family did. Earl had some doozy stories to tell about his grandma and he didn’t skimp on the details. Grandma’s nickname is Zigzag. Zigzag, now 70 years old, loved hash, so she became a locksmith at 50 to support her habit. Zigzag got so good at locksmithing, she expanded her skills to picking locks, which naturally led to learning how to break codes for combination tumbler locks as well as digitally protected locks. To date, Zigzag had never gotten caught or served a day in the slammer.

My role in bank robbing was gathering the crew and planning the heist. The more I learned about Zigzag, the more excited I got. She gave me the motivation I needed to work for an early release. My hard work, trustee status, and good behavior knocked my time in half, and it wasn’t long before I was looking at parole.

Earl and I got to be close, real close, if you know what I mean. I promised Earl I would wait for him on the outside, and Earl gave me Zigzag’s address. Ah, I can smell the green right now…

The End.

Fandango’s FOWC is skimp, the Word Challenge of the Day is escape, Paula’s 3 Things Challenge words are zigzag, hash, grandma , and Teresa’s Haunted Wordsmith’s Daily Prompt is a character who is a locksmith.

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