dVerse — prosery 17 — Starbaby

r/painting - WIP of "Flower Baby of Space" Acrylic. I tend to have sporadic urges(like 6-8hrs) to paint and the process always looks messy.

We look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope of Time.
from Hummingbird, by D.H. Lawrence

Gerald was born at the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month in the year of the dragon. Unlike his six siblings with blue eyes, Gerald’s glittered like emeralds. He never cried yet hummed strange melodies. Instead of saying, “ma-ma” and “da-da” he spoke sentences with words none could understand. He didn’t sit, crawl, or walk, but sometimes they swore his small body floated above the dirt floor of their cottage.

Gerald’s mother took him to Old Mina who lived near the lake. Her abode smelled of sage, rosehips, chamomile, and cooking cabbage. Brass bells tinkled as she bid them enter. Mina searched Gerald’s body for signs, threw the bones, and stared deep into his knowing eyes.

She said, “We look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope of Time. He was sent from a distant star.”

[144 words]

Image:  “Flower Baby of Space,” by InfiniteCatPower

Kim, writing from North Norfolk, is today’s host of dVerse. Kim says:
Write a very short piece of prose [using the above complete line from a poem] that tells a story, with a beginning, a middle and an end, in any genre of your choice. As it’s flash fiction, we have a limit of 144 words; an additional challenge is to hit 144 exactly.

45 Comments Add yours

  1. I like the end… I almost expected him to be possessed but the image of him as a starchild is so much sweeter… I wish him well

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Bjorn.

      Like

  2. rivrvlogr says:

    Perfect story for the line. Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Ken.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. sanaarizvi says:

    Beautiful! He sounds like he’ll grow up to do great things!! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sanaa. I think so also. Maybe he can lead us out of this mess…

      Like

  4. Lucy says:

    I too was expecting him to be possessed, but I gasped lightly at the ending. That is magical and beautiful, Lisa! The word-flow is vivid and lovely; and I was immediately immersed from the first sentence, which gives a great foreshadowing to “777” and that the child is from the stars. Amazing! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Lucy. If he was possessed it would have been 666 😉 Lovely comment and glad you enjoyed the story ❤

      Like

  5. Exceptional ending! You wrote it with lot of love and tenderness. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Punam. You’re right, I did ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome, Li. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I like your description and how the mystical words go with the quote. If flows very well and we feel we know this star child. The images are perfect as well for this story!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      I love your comment, Tricia, so glad you enjoyed his story.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ron. says:

    Great stuff, Lisa. Love the distant-star close, and his floaty mobility. Salute.
    AND: wonderful choice of accompanying artwork. Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Ron, thank you 🙂

      Like

  8. rothpoetry says:

    A true time traveler! Loved your story… This is what we do with children on the Autistic spectrum… We need to trun the telescope around to see clearly and understand them better! Great job!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Dwight, thank you for your thoughtful comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rothpoetry says:

        You are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. memadtwo says:

    A child of the stars…that fits that beautiful illustration perfectly. (K)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Dora says:

    An imaginative jewel of a story, Lisa! The rich details made it all the more evocative. 😍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you so much, Dora 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dora says:

        My pleasure!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    His real name could have been David Bowie…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      LOL 🙂 You’re right.

      Like

  12. Sadje says:

    This is a very interesting story Li. You can continue with it to a full fledged book.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Maybe one day, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Ingrid says:

    This is so beautiful and tender, like the image you’ve used. My eldest son comes from Hōkūleʻa, star of gladness, AKA Arcturus!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you. Delighted to hear your son is a Starbaby ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Yep you had me guessing right to the end – and the old woman could have said almost anything and I’d have applauded. Lovely piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Peter. Happy to keep you guessing.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. kim881 says:

    I love the way you describe Gerald in the first paragraph, Lisa, and I can see why some of your readers expected him to be possessed. I thought he might be a changeling, a fairy child at first, but I love the idea of him being a child sent from a distant star – Bowie-esque. The quotation sits beautifully. I also love the description of Old Mina’s home – the smells are so evocative – and the tinkling of brass bells. Now I want to visit her too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Happy you enjoyed the story, Kim, and thank you for your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. hank77 says:

    kaykuala
    The sequence of development as depicted is very much like the natural process of development through life. A classic way of presentation, Jade! And they are as adorable as a gem acquired as they are expected. Beautifully rendered Ma’am!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Hank, thank you much for your insights and kindness.

      Like

  17. Great story, Li. A very exceptional child indeed. I hope that many don’t hold that against him!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Good point, Shweta, a light that shines attracts all sorts of things. Thank you very much for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. An alien baby! I love this Lisa- so creative.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Linda. A few people have mentioned Bowie, and this may just be his origin story 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  19. lillian says:

    Oh this is excellent! A tale for the ages. Your description of Old Mina’s house/hut/abode adds credence to the tale. This is truly a wonderful tale and take on the prompt! Enjoyed it so much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Lillian, many thanks and glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  20. robtkistner says:

    Oh Lisa this was killer. I love the fantasy of this. Very mysterious, with much more mystery ahead as the child grows. You should turn this into a series and keep us abreast of his progress Through his life. Anyhow I love this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Rob, such a warm and encouraging comment, many thanks to you.

      Like

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