dVerse — Poetics 432 — Curdled Rose

My heart was split, and a flower appeared…
–King Solomon

A mother’s love may be assumed
unless she’s dickered with a beast.
Foul vapid roach, her soul consigned,
a mother’s hate may be assumed.
A mother’s bile designs your tomb.
Your curdled rose rise, barren, bleak.
As mother’s clause ensures your doom,
your tender heart split for her feast.

 

I chose to use the line as an Epigraph at the start of the poem. The form is a modified triolet, which is one of the 8 line Octave forms.

Note: I had no intention of going dark with this line but I followed where it led.

top image:  “The Twisted Rose,” by Andy Farr

Laura Bloomsbury is today’s host for dVerse Poetics. Laura says:
Here are 8 fragments from the mystic poets as prompt. Choose ONE, include the words in your poem or title if you wish, or write it as an Epigraph at the start of your poem.
•Our hearts irrigate the earth. We are fields before each other (Thomas Aquinas)
•Coming, going, the waterbirds don’t leave a trace (Dogen)
•Why should not the water find delight in the floral fragrance of its own rippled surface? (Jnanadev)
•To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night (Gilbran)
•Like a ruby held up to the sunrise. Is it still a stone, or a world made of redness? (Rumi)
•My heart was split, and a flower appeared (Solomon)
•The mountain path leads skyward and dissolves into light (Tukaram)
•Ask no questions of the moth in the candle flame (Attar)

For those of you who like poetry forms try one of these 8 line Octave forms

 

70 Comments Add yours

  1. oh into the spirited dark of the womb you went!. I like how you tried out this triolet too

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Laura. I really like the triolet form.

      Like

      1. I might have to give it a go myself then!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. sanaarizvi says:

    Brilliantly executed, Lisa! Wowww! 💝💝

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sanaa.

      Like

  3. kim881 says:

    Maybe we should have a triolet prompt 😉 I like the way you started so gently with a mother’s love and then dived straight into darkness! It’s a good job I want to e cremated as I wouldn’t want a mother’s bile designing my tomb! That is one scary mother, Lisa!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, the triolet form is worthy of a prompt, which is why I was happy to see it highlighted for this one. Yes, Kim. She is. Not everyone is blessed enough to get a good one. Thank you for your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have listened to podcasts about serial killers, and this could have been written for many of them… darkness brews darkness…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, I can see where such a mother might spawn a serial killer. Have you ever seen the movie, “Natural Born Killer”? It is Oliver Stone’s tongue-in-cheek look at the idea stated by the title of the movie and how gratuitous violence has risen to cult-like status in the media.

      Like

      1. I’ve never seen it, but people have always used it with name inside… Natural Bjorn killers… 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          LOL so funny. If you ever get a chance, check it out and let me know what you think of it.

          Like

  5. Ingrid says:

    You certainly did go dark, Kim, presenting us a rose as sick as Blake’s. I think the triolet form works so well here, as does the nursery-rhyme like quality which underpins the loss of childhood innocence and of the theme of damage caused by an unloving mother.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much for the feedback, Ingrid. No worries on name, I’ve done the same a time a two.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ingrid says:

        Just a sign I need to go to bed, I think. I really loved your poem so pleased I got to read it first 🌹

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Ingrid says:

    I am so sorry I called you Kim – Lisa – your link was next to Kim’s and I am very tired. The comment stands.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. calmkate says:

    you’ve gone dark on this one Lisa and your triolet works a treat, the song fits.
    And sadly this is too many peoples experience, you depict it well!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Kate ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  8. ghostmmnc says:

    Very cool – love the poem and the song goes great with it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Barbara! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  9. There’s a grim progression in this piece – each line a step going down – and some wonderful word-play – ‘dickered’ and ‘a mother’s clause’ – and the repetition of ‘a mother’s…’ – adds to the bleak inversion of the whole piece.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Hadn’t thought of it as a descent but yet it surely is now that you mention it. “Bleak inversion” yes. Anomaly of nature. I thought of those primate experiments where two baby monkeys were raised and studied, one with the “loving” cloth mother and one with a “monster” mother.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, of course, those poor monkeys – Harry Harlow gave psychology a bad name (certainly amongst the apes).

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Misky says:

    Oh those mothers do have a mystical darkness at times. This is tantalisingly dark. Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Mothers literally hold your life in their hands. Woe betide those held in the hands of one like this.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Glenn A. Buttkus says:

    “When mother is a bitch, kick her to the ditch. Don’t need no mother’s love,
    while I run with God above.” Don’t know where that came from…I enjoyed your triolet, and the jump into darkness.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      ❤ ❤ ❤ I needed that and may sing it as a ditty. Glad you liked the jump.

      Like

  12. Ron. says:

    Nobody does the cardiac gobble like mama, eh Lisa?
    Phenomenal formal write

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Ron. Call it venting a little steam from the pressure cooker.

      Like

  13. robtkistner says:

    My mother for mean was the antithesis of love and hate. My childhood was such, under her influence, that I have no valid memory of her — only sour apathy. Strong piece here Lisa. Conjured forth some darkness for me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Rob, I can’t forget the poem you wrote about your mom on the floor and your wondering about her. I have my own version and still, after all of these years, pound my head against a wall 😦

      Like

  14. Grace says:

    A lovely triolet for a darkness in the mother’s heart. I specially like this line:

    Your curdled rose rise, barren, bleak.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Grace.

      Like

  15. -Eugenia says:

    I love how you wove the prompt into a Triolet, Lisa! Beautifully penned.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Eugi, thank you very much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. -Eugenia says:

        My pleasure, Lisa!

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Lucy says:

    Indeed grim, dark, and heartbreaking. A rose that at the start has so much potential, it is soon wilted and destroyed. A very dark and beautifully written depiction.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Lucy, painful to write.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. memadtwo says:

    The form really works well to move the words from light to shadow. It’s like a dark enchantment. (K)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Kerfe. It is, and very difficult to extricate from.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Trudessa says:

    You have certainly captured the dark heart of a mother here. Those thorns hurt those she brought into the world.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Truedessa, thank you for reading and your empathic comment.

      Like

  19. Sadje says:

    Oh so powerful!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sadje. Sometimes discharging this kind of energy can be cathartic for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        I can understand!

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Sad poem but the formality of the verse helps one look at the danger of a mother’s hate with a little distance. It ends up as a cautionary tale. Beware of mother! 😱 Appropriate song 👌

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you for reading and your feedback, Tricia.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. It’s gorgeously dark. And I deeply appreciate your amazing use of words. Simply fantastic, Lisa, truly.

    -David

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      David, your kind words are appreciated. It hurt like hell to write.

      Liked by 2 people

  22. Dark but so exquisitely written, Li!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Punam, many thanks ❤

      Like

  23. I usually go dark, so your following down the darkness path pleased me no end. Fantastic writing and food for thought!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      I visit the dark path from time to time and glad to walk with you there. Thank you, Freya.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. lillian says:

    Dark indeed. Whew! But then look at the illustration….that rose beauty includes thorns that draw blood. Just sayin’ …..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you for your feedback, Lillian. The bud is clinging to the deadened stalk and will soon fall off, hopefully to cushiony green moss.

      Like

  25. rivrvlogr says:

    Your addition of the Marilyn Mansion rendition of “Sweet Dreams” is perfect. Your words cast new light – more aptly darkness – into the song.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Ken. Marilyn Manson gives it just the right twist. He still has “it.” The guy is a consummate entertainer.

      Liked by 2 people

  26. Because of the quote from Solomon and the idea of splitting I thought of the baby and the tug of love. This one didn’t end so happily! A dark little number 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Jane, for the feedback. Much appreciated.

      Like

  27. Helen Dehner says:

    Yes, your poem is dark ~~~ wonderfully beautifully dark ~~~ it becomes you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Helen, what a nice thing to say. Thank you ❤

      Like

  28. poetrybydebi says:

    Dark, yes. But, not every mother is maternal and Oh, the damage they can do, even when they are not as demonic as the one in your (so good) poem

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Debi, I love your comment. You are right. I’ve seen many in my time.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. The Mother theme is always just under the surface. Your poem made me think of Every Day Is Mother’s Day, a chilling novel. Good poem.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks for reading and your comment. The book sounds interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

  30. The painting is gorgeous. 👍

    Liked by 3 people

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