Outside My Door
The driveway’s wet sloping back ends
at a green-fringed white-crystalled skirt
that traps tantalizing fragrance within
its folds. Trauma-stilled, crunchy steps
imprint on a swollen body that one day
will melt away to nothing but mud.
Grace is today’s host for dVerse’ Poetics. Grace says:
The Writing Challenge: Write a poem utilizing either Personification (giving human characteristics to objects, animals, or ideas) or Imagery (appealing to the senses). If you want to combined these poetic devices in one poem, its also okay.
A stark warning in your poem here, Lisa. Or is it too late for warnings? I feel like I’m about to fall just looking at that ice!
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Thanks, Ingrid, good call!
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that photo makes me wish for spring!
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This is chilling, Lisa! It is and can be extremely dangerous if one is not careful 😮
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Yes it helps to know what the temp is before stepping on it. I also use the birdbath and the gutter to tell me how cold it is out there. If it’s dripping I’m safe.
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Your imagery is stark, chilly, and pugnacious, embracing olfactory and visual clues; nice job.
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I’m glad you picked up on the pugnaciousness. How dare the snow trap all of the wonderful smells that spring, summer, and fall hold.
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a chilling warning, nice personification!
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Thank you!
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Succinctly wonderful work, Lisa. Nailed the prompt fer sure.
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Thanks Ron!
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Brrr! I’d be pugnacious too. This is an accident waiting to happen.
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Thanks Beverly!
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You painted a scary and chilling imagery of that chilly ice. I have fallen on one so I know it can be dangerous.
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And the older one gets the more dangerous it is!
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a swollen body that one day
will melt away to nothing but mud
They’ll end the way as expected without impinging on any others. Short and sweet, Jade!
Hank
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Just like a snow(wo)man 🙂
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Wow! Gelid imagery making a point in short order, Lisa!
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Thanks Eugi!
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Most welcome!
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You’ve the gift of giving voice to inanimate objects. Well done. One should really be careful here
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Thanks Kerfe!
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👍
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I love your picture and your poem. The swollen body of snow is a great image…. all eventually turning to mud … just like us! :>)
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Many thanks, Dwight. Indeed!
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you are welcome!
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What beautiful patterns! Look, don’t touch I’d say. (K)
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I really like green-fringed white-crystalled skirt… good line Lisa
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Max, thank you and glad you like it 🙂
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Automatically I think…”She had a green-fringed-white crystalled skirt”… I’ve never seen one but I now know what one would look like. That is a sign of a great description line.
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This is fantastic! tantalizing fragrance within its folds… really enjoyed all of these phrases.
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Sa, thank you and glad you enjoyed them 🙂
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I am glad your driveway is dressed, Lisa, in this chilly poem, and the use of alliteration in ‘traps tantalizing fragrance within its folds’, creates a crisp, fresh atmosphere. I feel sorry for its ‘swollen body that one day will melt away to nothing but mud’, which has a touch of crime scene.
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Thank you for your perspective on this and fresh atmosphere is good. I like watching how the temperatures affect the snow’s shape and texture.
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I literally shivered when I read this line, Lisa 🥶
You conveyed the sensations perfectly to me!
Shabbat shalom,
David
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David, glad you connected with the line.
Shalom,
Lisa
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I hope the ‘swollen body’ really is just poetic licence!
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Maybe that’s what makes the strawberries grow so well in the not a bubble bath?
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Urk!
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Your poem packed quite a punch ~~ well done!
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Helen, thank you 🙂
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Mortality here. Along with the mortal danger there’s trauma-stilled which, in the end with spring and the melt, will pass. Such a lot about life here in this pile of snow. Great stuff.
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I still remember the video you posted with snowball throwing as the person rode through on their bike. Thank you for seeing.
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That feeling when even the grass has turned to ice from people walking on it because the sidewalk is too icy! (and knowing the mud that’s coming, ugh)
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Ice on the driveway is an accident waiting to happen… Here in Sweden they have sand available so we can sand ourselves if it gets too icy.
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We have rock salt and also kitty litter can be used. The day I looked out it wasn’t frozen as things were melting.
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A chilling ending awaits the slippery sidewalk — Goosebumps, Lisa! What awaits us?
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Indeed, Dora! You never know what the weather will bring…
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