Oh When Will Autumn Moon and Spring Flowers End (The Beautiful Lady Yu) ~ Li Yu
(my reinterpretation of Li Yu’s poem, using the same title)
Please clouds, veil Venus // winds, strip stems!
Fragrant petals now a biting blinding snow
Evening’s wander un-dammed floodgates //
time’s remembered joys
Season’s rendezvous // forbidden pools //
yesterday today’s woe
Warm // velvet curtains hushed // urgent cushioned sighs
Cool // sandpaper walls echo // piteous ragged lows
How many ghosts // sweet rotting arms // must call?
Endless stream, hungry shadows laugh // dance, aglow
I chose to re-interpret Li Yu’s:
Oh When Will Autumn Moon and Spring Flowers End (The Beautiful Lady Yu)
Oh when will autumn moon and spring flowers end?
How many past events I’ve known.
The east wind buffeted my room again last night,
I cannot bear to remember the bright moon of the old country.
The marble steps and carved balustrades must still be there,
The people’s rosy cheeks are all that’s changed.
How much sorrow can one man have to bear?
As much as a river of spring water flowing east
Top image is, “Red Bay,” (2016 – 2017) by Elizabeth Magill
2nd image is, “Heart,” by Marlow Brooks
Laura is today’s host of dVerse’ Poetics. Laura says:
Select any ONE of the above poems [I chose the one above] and with as many re-reads as you need, imagine what the poet has painted, what impressions are conveyed. Then:
—re-interpret the poem in the Chinese LUSHI style
•eight lines long of couplets – The first couplet should set-up the poem; the middle two couplets develop the theme, the final couple is conclusion
•each line must have the same number of words, either 5,6, or 7.
•a mono-rhyme is on every even numbered line
•Caesura (a pause) should separate clauses.
Whichever style you choose you should:-
•use the same title
•not re-use more than a very few of the poet’s words
•cite the poem & poet of your choice either at the end of your post or parallel with your own poem.
Tao Talk 
I love your rewriting… the darkness that made me think of a burial with those rotting arms rather than being away from the old country… but maybe the parting in the original poem is really about death.
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Bjorn, I love hearing your thoughts on the original and the reinterp of it. Very well may be! Thank you for what you see.
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this is certainly your style – extra praise for the Lushi style. You reworked the original so well and the final couplet is superb but these are my favourite- stunning contrasts
“Warm // velvet curtains hushed // urgent cushioned sighs
Cool // sandpaper walls echo // piteous ragged lows”
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Thank you so much, Laura. The poem wouldn’t exist without your prompt. Glad those lines pleased you.
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This is an absolutely beautiful interpretation. Your Caesura, reminding me of music notations, makes me want to hear it sung, to a mournful tune.
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Helene, thank you very much, I’m glad you connect with it. Would be interesting to hear it put to music or maybe chanting.
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This is incredibly gorgeous, Lisa! I so love; “Evening’s wander un-dammed floodgates /time’s remembered joys.”💝💝
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Thanks much, Sanaa and glad you enjoyed those lines 🙂 ❤
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The images flow like a forest river, dark, mournful, eerie, threatening. Well done Lisa.
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Thank you, Dora!
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My pleasure!
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“How many ghosts // sweet rotting arms // must call?” Haunting imagery! Can’t forget this one! ✨
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Tricia, thank you!
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Wonderfully written
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Sadje, thank you.
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You’re welcome my friend
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I really enjoyed reading your interpretation. The darkness lingers in the uncertainty of the season.
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Thank you very much, Truedessa. I didn’t want to take it that dark but it took me.
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Very nicely done Lisa. Your use of caesura works very well!
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Thank you, Dwight! It’s the very first time I’ve used the “//” in a poem. I like it also 🙂
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I really like the feel it gives to the poem!
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I haven’t come across caesura before and, having seen them mentioned in the comments I looked the word up. It’s an interesting concept that I obviously need to acquaint myself with. I am reading on my phone which has probably messed with your layout. Will come back to it later on my laptop to get a better feeling. Initially I read the caesura as line breaks but that didn’t seem right. But even with all these failings on my part the language and imagery are so rich and luxuriant and, in places, haunting. I can’t wait to read it on a bigger screen.
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I think caesura is any pause in the line and doesn’t have to have the “//” It could be a comma, a dash, or some other delineator. That said, it’s the first time I’ve used, “//” and I actually like how it turned out. Hoping it looks better on the big screen for you.
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I LOVE your re-interpretation! And I am floored by the textural and sensual contrasts of these two lines:
“Warm // velvet curtains hushed // urgent cushioned sighs
Cool // sandpaper walls echo // piteous ragged lows”
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Thank you very much, Raivenne!
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Congratulations on using the lushi style so beautifully with all that luscious alliteration 🙂
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Ingrid thank you very much.
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👏 Lisa 👏
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I like the caesura markings, they work well in your reinterpretation, Lisa, and the opening invocation. I love the whispering sound of the phrase ‘velvet curtains hushed // urgent cushioned sighs’.
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Thank you very much for your feedback, Kim. Glad you like the phrase.
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I like the urgent intensity of your interpretation. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe, and appreciate your feedback.
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Your rewrite is just lovely. I had so much trouble with this prompt. I kept reading about how important the subtleties of Chinese language inflexion is to the form; it started to feel like appropriation. In the end I abandoned it. I’ve been glad to see how sensitively the community was able to meet the challenge.
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I does feel like a rabbit hole as you look at the subtleties involved and really think a Native Chinese speaker with ESL would be best to do the translations of the work.
I agree, Laura knocked it out of the park with her challenge and I’ve been loving reading the responses!
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p.s. Thank you and glad you enjoyed my rewrite.
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Well done, Lisa. I think this line is impactful and expresses the weight of the situation.:
“Season’s rendezvous // forbidden pools //
yesterday today’s woe”
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Ken, thank you. I appreciate your feedback on it.
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Lovely poem. Great contrast in textures in lines 7 and 8 – warm cushioned and velvet, versus cool sandpaper.
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Many thanks. I was trying to contrast the experience that generated the memory and the residue that is now left….
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Gorgeous. Both the original, and your reinterpretation.
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Jude, thank you. Not bad for a first try at the form. I’d like to write it so it looks symmetrical like the original. Something to strive for 🙂
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My pleasure. And yes indeed.
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Lisa- what a beautiful interpretation of the original poem- truly lovely.
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Linda, thank you very much.
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