dVerse — Prosery — The Sound of Water

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Crucial to finding the way is this: there is no beginning or end.”
–from Jo Harjo’s “A Map to the Next World.”

 

Gil woke curled in a dark place, lying on her side, hearing the sound of trickling water. Opening her eyes, she felt dried crusted tears breaking loose. Her wrists were bound behind her.

You’ve been sleeping awhile.”

The nasal, mocking, vaguely familiar voice came from a place above her. She looked up and saw a red surveillance bulb and a speaker.

Your challenge is to get out of the tunnels. Crucial to finding the way is this: there is no beginning or end.”

You win,” said Gil.

He was confused. They always cried. They always tried.

She worked the shiv out of the hidden pocket in her shirt sleeve, sawed through the binding, and waited.

Gil heard footsteps echoing.

As he bent over her, she lodged the shiv neatly in his carotid.

She let the sound of water lead her out.

[144 words]

top image:  “Dark Cave,” by Jason Chen

Merril is today’s host for dVerse’ Prosery. Merril says:
Write a piece of flash fiction or other prose of up to or exactly 144 words, including the given line.

64 Comments Add yours

  1. lillian says:

    Spooky!!! What were they doing there? How did she get into this predicament? I want more!!! A chapter two? 144 more words as a prequel? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, not a place I’d want to wake up in!

      Like

  2. Dora says:

    Lisa,
    Loved every sec of this! Fast-paced, suspenseful, twisted villain, clever heroine, mysterious setting, unexpected ending! So when is the movie coming out?! (Just so you know, the link on Mr. Linky doesn’t take us to your post, just the dVerse site. Might want to fix that.)
    Pax,
    Dora

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Dora, so glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for letting me know about the link. I have fixed it 🙂

      Like

  3. merrildsmith says:

    Oh, wow! This was excellent, Lisa–though creepy. Whoever “he” is–is very creepy, but I like that Gil is smart and prepared. Like Lillian, I want more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      The creep is dead. Story over 😉 This is more like the final chapter. Glad you liked it, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. merrildsmith says:

        You’re welcome, and good news about the creep. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  4. RedCat says:

    Loved this. You really drew me into the story. Will echo others. I want to read more of the story. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      So happy you enjoyed the story, Helene. Thank you!

      Like

  5. Beverly Crawford says:

    These words seem to have occasioned some VERY dark tales here! Methinks evil forces are about.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      And it isn’t even Halloween!

      Like

  6. Very resourceful captive, and a very captivating work for being so short!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      When it’s a matter of life and death you get resourceful or you die. Thanks, TJS!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ron. says:

    Oooohhhhh Gooooood stuff, Lisa!

    Like

  8. Anonymous says:

    Gil is one feisty lady! Great story to include the quote.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Marion. I see your next comment and know this one is from you also.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. writingwhatnots says:

    Sorry Lisa, didn’t mean to sign myself as anonymous. Don’t know what happened there.🤷‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      WP gets that glitch from time to time. No worries.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Shawna says:

    The whole piece is brilliant—especially the last line and the way you used the required quote. So good

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you! Such a nice comment.

      Like

  11. rothpoetry says:

    Now this is one woman who knows how to take care of herself in every situation! Well done Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Dwight. It’s a dangerous world out there for women. We have to know how.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Sadje says:

    Fantastic story telling Li.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Sadje, thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome my friend

        Liked by 1 person

  13. calmkate says:

    wow mystery, murder and escape all in only 144 words is super impressive Lisa … yes we all need more please 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks so much, Kate! Hey, do you know you have your comments turned off on your page? Is that the way you want it?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate says:

        Sorry Lisa … am posting less and only leaving one open for comments … then opening the others after most have been by 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Fandango says:

    You had me at “You’ve been sleeping awhile.” Excellent storytelling, Li! 👏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Fandango.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. M Jay Dixit says:

    I loved this fast paced and action packed flash fiction. I would love to read more!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Jay, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. 🙂 Loved it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  17. kittysverses says:

    Enjoyed it very much, Li! Brilliant story telling. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 so happy you enjoyed it, Kitty. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kittysverses says:

        You are welcome, Li. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Ingrid says:

    Wow, this was dramatic, Lisa, and a great self-contained story. I’m so pleased Gil made it out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Ingrid, me too!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. K.Hartless says:

    Brutal flash, but of course we wonder how many poor mice were lost in this mad ma ‘s maze. Such a full story with so few words. Wonderful, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Exactly, Karen. Thank you for reading and your thoughtful comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. memadtwo says:

    Revenge! Always sweet. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Knowing he would never kidnap, torture, and kill again, absolutely!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. You write suspense so well! It’s funny that he wanted to play games with her but she was just a little more direct with him. Straight to the carotid! 👏👏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Tricia! Best to get straight to the carotid and live to tell the tale.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Helen Dehner says:

    OH MY GOODNESS! Chills for days I think. A huge Wow from me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks and glad to have chilled you 🙂

      Like

  23. Mish says:

    Yikes…glad it was her and not me as I’m so claustrophobic. Lots of details in this little flash, leaving me wishing for a rewind button to find out why, how, who….?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Mish!

      Like

  24. I love how she knew how to manipulate the manipulator… nothing scares a psychopath more than someone who won’t be manipulated. I wonder how she knew “the vaguely familiar voice”… not a total stranger maybe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Great comment, Bjorn, and yes on the voice. I’m sure when he was lying there bleeding out she recognized him.

      Like

  25. sanaarizvi says:

    This is absolutely riveting! 😀 Good thing that Gil made it out safe and sound in the end. I applaud her level of courage! 💝💝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Sanaa, thank you very much, she does have a lot of courage.

      Like

  26. J. says:

    Oooft. Goodnight, bad guy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Uh huh! No sweet dreams for him.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. pvcann says:

    I was entranced by this Lisa, and deeply satisfied that the shiv lodged so, his end her beginning.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Paul thank you. Yes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pvcann says:

        Very welcome Lisa 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  28. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    She is not one to be manipulated…good story Lisa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Max. I really like your perspective on the story.

      Like

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