PHOTO PROMPT© Na’ama Yehuda תודה חברה שלי
Abandoning Michigan winters and my family had been necessary. I’d lived in Hawaii for thirty years when Dotty, my youngest sister, called and said Mama didn’t have long. I packed my peach fleece-lined jacket.
They hovered around her, their faces uncharacteristically crumpled and wet. Dotty moved aside, said, “She’s been waiting for you.”
Fit and tanned before, now she looked shriveled and yellow. Her eyes were closed, breathing shallow, stale onion stench rising from her.
“Mama?” I said, wrapping her cold hand in mine. Her eyes opened and she smiled.
“See you in hell,” she whispered, and died.
[100 words]
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is the summery host of Friday Fictioneers.
Tao Talk 
Loved the surprise shock of the last line
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Neil, thank you. When I please you, I know I’ve done well :)
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Oh that last line is superb.
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome Li
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Great twist!
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Thank you!
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I wouldn’t blame anyone for leaving Michigan winters behind! Great twist, Jade.
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Thank you very much. Writing a story about it may be my first step ;)
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Wonderful writing 💖
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Paula, thank you!
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Hm … I can see the daughter in the mother but … oy vey, I hope she takes a gentler path …. Well done!
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Thank you for your thoughtful response, Na’ama. I hope so too!
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:) You’re welcome. Very nicely done piece, that!
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Something tells me your MC is not even surprised at her Mama’s last words… Might be why she upped at left MI for HI ;-)
Excellent!
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Dale you got it. Thanks for reading and your comment :)
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Ah hah… ;-)
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Dear Lisa,
In one last line you explain why the narrator had to leave her family behind. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Thank you for understanding.
Shalom,
Lisa
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Powerfully done…vivid…
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Thank you, Ain.
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love love the twist Lisa…that is dark and I love it.
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Thank you, Max :)
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Love those last words!
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Thank you, Fandango!
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Harsh. There’s another story behind those words. (K)
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Oh yes, there is.
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I thought “how sweet”. Then I scrolled down and read the last line :-)
What’s an “MI winter”?
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MI is abbreviation for Michigan. Do you think I should write out the State instead of abbreviation?
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Ah, thanks! Not being from America it didn’t click with me that it was an abbreviation for a state.
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Makes sense, thanks!
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Now that WAS a turn around! A real cliff-hanger.
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:) Thank you, Sandra.
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That was quite the emotional exit! Well done, Jade.
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Thank you, Mason.
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Wait. Is that a true story?
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Not yet.
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Oh, my…
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No room for love in that heart, that’s for sure!
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Geeze, what a twist, Lisa!
Delivered a punch right to my stomach.
Great writing.
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Jenne, thank you!
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I’m a bad person, this had me laughing. What a last line. No wonder the narrator ran. Great writing.
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I love your response! Thank you, Gah.
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What a great shocker of a last line. Something tells me this one has a big back story waiting to be explored. What say!
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Neel, the backstory would take several volumes. Thank you for reading and your comment :)
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good for her. her sense of humor remained intact even in death.
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Thanks for reading and commenting, Plaridel :)
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WOW … I hope the mother is happy now.
YIKES, even as she died she couldn’t give her daughter a break.
Poerwful write, Lisa.
Have a super weekend … stay safe and be well 😷
Isadora 😎
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Isadora, thank you for reading and thank you for your kind and sensitive comment. I echo those feelings back to you. <3
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hardly expected that …for better or worse i loved it!!!💖💖
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Thank you, Cindy! :)
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pleasure!!!💖🤣
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Ouch, wow what a last bitter line. Well done. She obviously left for the right reasons.
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Laurie, thank you, and I agree.
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Lol :-) good story Li!
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Oh sh*t. This story is more than a little prophetic :(
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