dVerse — Haibun Monday — Ten Thousand Blind Mice

Here we are at our second September existing in the time of Covid. The frenzy of the summer months’ – even as they were isolated and restricted — activities are slowing down, and the thoughts and feelings that have been pushed away start crawling back like contrite destroyers.

Doubts, fears, anxieties niggle as they worm their ways, filling synaptic articulators like arthritis, creaking and inflamed, leaving no airy spaces that allow Muses to breathe. Each word becomes agonizing decision, each idea a dilemma of scale, boundary. When we realize paralyzing anchorlessness is multiplied exponentially via shared experience, we gasp.

Wheezing down dark halls
10K artists feel their ways
still believe in light

 

Top image illustration by Jim Madsen.

Frank J. Tassone is today’s host of dVerse’ Haibun Monday. Frank says:
Feeling a little blocked? Vent about it! Have a story to tell about a recent writer’s block? Go for it? Never had writer’s block? Tell us your secret! However you approach it, write your haibun that alludes to this perennial frustration of writers.

81 Comments Add yours

  1. Dale says:

    Good gawd, Woman! I got the email at 3:00 pm and here you are at 3:15! I’m thinking, you must have an “in” on these challenges, being a co-contributor, and all 😉

    All that to say, excellent Haibun!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      If you bet on your thinking, you’d win. Thank you, Dale!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale says:

        😉
        I have, on occasion, written something in five minutes… but to add an image, etc.. ? Takes a few more!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Hey, it’s one of the perks of being a host, what can I say? That said, I started writing it at 2:40 (after being in a 2+ hour phone conversation that was a good hour too long.)

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Dale says:

            I hear ya 😉 Plus, I get a heads up on the FF pics – especially when the photo used is mine… like Wednesday 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            1. msjadeli says:

              So you know what the upcoming FF pic is? You scamp! Have you written your story yet? I bet you haven’t. Some things are best written impromptu I think.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Dale says:

                I do know what it is 😉 It’s mine! And I never, ever write my story ahead of time. Well, that’s not true. Once I did. And I agree. Impromptu is best :),

                Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s amazing it’s been this long, and I think some of the changes we are doing will stay permanent. This week we are removing most of the rules and I am sure I will see pictures of kids on the dance floors… For us there will not be a lot of change though

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ingrid says:

    A case of drowning in too many choices? I think you always make the right ones, Lisa. I can’t imagine you having writer’s block 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Ingrid. It’s more about the scope/limit aspect I struggle with.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Carol anne says:

    I am glad that its coming to an end! ❤ ❤ Nicely done Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Carol anne, I’m glad you believe that. I think the tunnel goes on for a-ways yet… Thank you for reading and your comment.

      Like

  5. Reena Saxena says:

    I’m curious about the number 10K 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Reena Saxena says:

        Thanks for sharing the link to the article. Saved it.

        Googled a little more. Myriad in Greek is technically 10000.

        Hindu multi-theism numbers confuse me. The belief is about 330 million gods. Some say there are 33 major ones. I see the origin of derivatives here. Maybe we can list 33 qualities or energy sources around us, which deserve respect and recognition. I also think of the fact how derivatives always do not retain properties of the original, and turn into superstition.

        Well, I’m taxing your mind too much 😂 Thanks for setting me off on a new trail of thought.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          I like my mind to be taxed. I think that Jung was on the right track when he said that there are universal themes that spring from the collective unconscious. I don’t think the Chinese ever meant literally 10,000 things, just a number they chose to represent all-that-is that has sprung from The Mysterious Mother. Similarly as you mentioned the Greeks and the Hindus, they probably don’t mean the literal number either. Imagine trying to name 330 million gods! You’re welcome on the article.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Glenn A. Buttkus says:

    The plague, cursed pandemic will stay with us like a herpes shadow and shape-shifter. This is some excellent writing, especially in the second paragraph; very impressive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      My son is at home right now awaiting results of a covid test. He did everything right. I agree it will be with us and kill maim and kill some more. Glenn, how do I keep from going full-scale nuclear with my poetry? I want to lay waste right now.

      Like

  7. Ron. says:

    You nailed this. The opening sentence of your 2nd paragraph says it ALL.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dora says:

    Give me air! My “synaptic articulators” just about gave way reading this! Mind-blowing writing, Lisa. I’m sorry to hear about your son and pray the results are negative.
    pax,
    dora

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much for the prayers, Dora.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dora says:

        Any news? 💞

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          No news on the covid test yet. Yesterday was a real bad day for him. The congestion was building in his lungs and breathing was labored. He’s been taking ibuprofen for fever and steamy showers. This morning he said the congestion is starting to break up and come out of his lungs. His quote (paraphrase): “If this is covid after having the vaccine, I feel so bad for anyone who hasn’t had the vaccine.” Will post update when I get it. Dora ❤ thank you ❤ for asking about my son.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Dora says:

            Lisa,
            Thanks for the update. May he recover quickly and completely. Good sign that his congestion is breaking up. God bless him and family. Hope you can relax a bit easier now. ❤️

            Liked by 1 person

  9. Gillena Cox says:

    The pandemic debris surely is exhausting. I well understand
    Much💖love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Pandemic debris good way of putting it. Gillena, thank you.

      Like

  10. Beverly Crawford says:

    Good to know 10K are seeing the light!! Worrying about the rest!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Beverly.

      Like

  11. rothpoetry says:

    A great Haibun Lisa! Love the three blind mice/poets!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Dwight, thank you. Glad you like the comparison.

      Like

  12. Pestilence is having a field day with COVID-19, that’s for sure. I love the imagery of slow suffication you convey! Brava!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Frank, thank you for your comment and for your prompt.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Sadje says:

    You’ve expressed the emotions so well Li.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sadje.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  14. K.Hartless says:

    The image is perfect for today’s climate where each choice seems fraught with terrible consequences. Writing has been my escape through the maze of confusion, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I know things would be a lot more grim for me without being able to write.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. K.Hartless says:

        Agreed. In a way, I’ve met many kindred storytellers. My life is fuller from having the courage to share my writing and part of that is inspired by the pandemic.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m sick of this pandemic now. I will keep on being sensible and doing the right thing, but I’m so tired. I think you capture that feeling well – forced in on ourselves to find a new form of creativity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Sarah, for you it has to be particularly taxing. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. writingwhatnots says:

    So well described Lisa – the symptoms of writers block in a time of covid! Here’s to brighter times ahead somewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. memadtwo says:

    It does seem like we’re on a hamster wheel, or maybe in a fun house that has no exit. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Even though we are trapped and stumbling blind, we still believe there is an exit. Kerfe, I just read yesterday they are going to start fining people not wearing masks on the subway $50 in NYC. Do you think it will help? My thought is that people will not comply, get the tickets and clog the court system even more.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. memadtwo says:

        Since the cops mostly don’t wear masks (there’s a police precinct on my block), and I think 40% are still unvaccinated, I doubt they will be giving out many tickets, if any. That fine has been in effect the entire pandemic. From what I heard, about 3/4 of the subway is masked, and the ones who are not are defiantly not. I’ve taken the bus, and almost everyone wears a mask on those, so I’ll stick to places I can go on the bus for the time being. There are hospital workers and teachers and city workers out demonstrating on the street against the mask mandate…it’s insane. Although the court just ruled against them.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Oh no, Kerfe. I’m glad you’re playing it safe. After all of this craziness have you ever considered moving out of the city?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. memadtwo says:

            I like it here. I don’t think it’s any more crazy here than anywhere else. If they would require the cops to live in the city, it would make a huge difference.

            And where I live now, I can walk most places I need to go. One thing I really disliked growing up in the suburbs was having to drive everywhere. I know most people love their cars. Not me.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. msjadeli says:

              Makes sense. I don’t think the cops could afford to live in the city unless the PD bought them housing as a perk. I believe the Japanese have that kind of arrangement for their officers, but then again they aren’t a police state like we are.

              Now that we have easy grocery delivery, I probably don’t need a car anymore. It’s a luxury item. For 3 seasons of the year I could get around on my bike.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. memadtwo says:

                I think more places are opening up to transportation alternatives which is good thing.

                Affordable housing is a society-wide problem. Housing projects have proved to be very far from the solution. Affordable units need to be integrated into market rate areas but there’s a lot of resistance from the comfortable classes.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. msjadeli says:

                  I hear you on the housing situation. Segregation is alive and well, but instead of being neighborhoods it is buildings segregated by income levels. As bad as the housing shortage is here in MI it’s got to be way worse where you are. Housing is two extremes these days: upper crust bulldozing forest to build half a million dollar at minimum homes, or government subsidized places that are nice but only the poorest qualify for them. That leaves the middle class in the cold, often taking on humongous mortgages and becoming enslaved to meet that monthly mortgage payment. Something has got to give. I’m sick of it!

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. memadtwo says:

                    Housing is a huge problem everywhere. There are not even many nice subsidized housing options for the poor here. It’s hard to tell what middle class even means any more. People’s expectations have changed too. We never ate out when I was growing up, and the family shared one car. Yet we were middle class–that would be considered deprived these days. On the other hand, I ate quite well on $10/wk in 1973, and my rent was $150/month. Hard to believe.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. msjadeli says:

                      I know exactly what you mean.

                      Liked by 1 person

  18. Misky says:

    Your poem sounds so full of exhaustion and caution, but I still hold on to hope that we’ll all live normally again before too long. Stay strong, and stay safe, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Two things in my world mean everything to me: the love and affection I have for my family and the health of my family. These two things have been dangerously compromised by the virus and those who refuse to act in sensible and safe ways for themselves and for the benefit of those in their community. I am feeling exhausted and helpless to it right now. I’m doing the best I can right now. Thank you for the benevolence, Misky. I am clinging to hope right now.

      Liked by 2 people

  19. The pandemic leaves more destruction in its wake than we can imagine.
    I hope and pray your son’s test comes negative. My entire family had been there and I wouldn’t wish that nightmare on anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Oh no, Punam, can’t even begin to imagine the whole family getting Covid 😦 Thank you so much for your hopes and prayers for my son. ❤ He seems to be doing better today. We are waiting for the covid test results.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Li, it was the most harrowing fortnight for us! 😔

        You are welcome. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

    2. msjadeli says:

      Punam, my son’s test came back negative for covid. He must have had a terrible case of bronchitis. In any case he is on the mend now, thank goodness! I’m sure the prayers for him helped him.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Li, so relieved and I can imagine your relief! Thank god he is feeling better. Take care and it was very sweet of you to update me. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Prayers were answered and thanks for caring, Punam.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. You are so welcome.

            Liked by 1 person

  20. Suzanne says:

    I think you are really onto something here. This strange time is holding us all in a kind of limbo. No wonder we are finding it hard to write. Your haibun has really given me an insight. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Suzanne, I’m very glad the poem connected with you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  21. leaving no airy spaces that allow Muses to breathe. Each word becomes agonizing decision,

    Wowzers bowzers, Lisa… you really feel this way? To this extent?

    😦
    David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      David, it’s hyperbole in my case, but for others suffering writer’s block, it may be their reality. Thank you for your concern. ❤
      Sincerely,
      Lisa

      Liked by 1 person

  22. The hope in here in dark times. Always from you Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Petru, thank you very much.

      Like

  23. Ain Starlingsson says:

    Oh that just GROWS! 2nd paragraph is just magnificent…utterly!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Ain, thank you very much!

      Like

  24. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    I can’t believe we will be going into our 2nd Christmas with this damn pandemic.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      I know! I don’t think there will be a third. (Yes I’m an optimist.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. badfinger20 (Max) says:

        Keep thinking that way! Can you imagine how much mental damage has occurred because of this? Not to mention the physical damage.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Did I tell you my son thought he had covid? He was SO sick all last weekend, temp kept going up and he was having trouble breathing. He had to wait until Monday to get a covid test and found out Weds he didn’t have it. Must have been a bad case of bronchitis. Put a big scare into us all.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. badfinger20 (Max) says:

            We thought we had it…every time I sneeze I think I may have it. Jennifer had bronchitis a week or so ago….the test came back negative.

            I’m glad your son didn’t have it Lisa…

            Liked by 1 person

            1. msjadeli says:

              Wow didn’t realize Jennifer was also sick. It’s a stressful time worrying about it isn’t it. Like you said, it is taking its toll on everyone 😦

              Liked by 1 person

              1. badfinger20 (Max) says:

                Not just that…but people are becoming or rather…have become anti social and staying away from everyone else….not to mention the liberal vs conservatives… I stopped watching the news.

                Liked by 1 person

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