Let the pulse pass;
it will become a stone
and drag you to the bottom.
I started smoking cigarettes at age 17. I smoked through both of my pregnancies and while nursing my sons. Smoking was something I understood was a bad thing for my health and for the health of my children and those others breathing in second-hand smoke; yet I never thought about quitting until my oldest son, then in 5th grade, came home from school one day. His class was learning all about drugs in D.A.R.E., a drug awareness program. He was worried, he was emphatic, and he was persistent that I quit smoking. Looking back, maybe it was how much he cared about not wanting me to get sick that got to me. I quit smoking through using nicotine patches. During the process, I noticed that the craving for cigarettes came in waves and that if I was able to ride the wave through it would pass. I smoked a pack a day for about 20 years; it’s been 25 years since I quit.
My battle with an eating disorder started in my teens, when I starved myself until I got to the number I wanted to see on the scale. Looking in the mirror, I saw a blob, no matter how much my ribs and hip bones were sticking out. Smoking was a big help in keeping the weight off. When I quit smoking I started gaining weight, and my weight has been creeping up and up for 25 years. Diets and shaming and guilt have been not only ineffective but actively harmful. A minor revelation recently made me realize every bite of food, no matter how healthy, was a bite of guilt. The state of my body and my guilt has become intolerable.
Again, my older son came to my rescue and told me about a CICO way of eating. CICO stands for calories-in-calories-out. He sent me a link to a woman who lost 90 # in a year with the method and moderate exercise, even though it can be done without exercise. It’s calorie tracking for food and exercise. Identical to Weight Watchers (but free) the site I’m using has a vast database of food, including zillions of brand name foods, broken down by calorie, sugar, sodium, fat, protein, and carbohydrate levels, just like you’d see on the side of a package of food. It keeps a running daily tally of each, with a pie chart on the page with the main 3 categories: protein, fat, and carbs. The big plus with this system is that you have a calorie cap, BUT! if you exercise, the calories burned are added to your calorie cap. This means if you want to treat yourself to something like pizza, which I did (in moderation) last night, you have to do some exercise to offset it, which I did when I took at 15-mile bike ride yesterday.
The big aha moment for me was realizing I can use the, “let the wave of craving pass” method for eating also. It’s been about 6 weeks now, and I’ve been sticking to CICO religiously, letting the waves of crave pass. My guilt over eating doesn’t exist on this plan. I’ve lost 12 pounds and am back to riding my bike multiple times a week.
I now believe that this method can be used to defeat any addiction: eating, smoking, pills, injectables, powders, shopping, raging, porn, etc. I also believe the person will need to be at a stage of readiness to change that includes being at a place of intolerance for the addiction.
For a short poem, it has a lot of back story. I thought it was important to share it.
artwork: “Freedom Of Compulsions Habits And Addictions,” by Paulo Zerbato
Tao Talk 
wow Lisa, thanks for your share and congrats on your weight-loss!!! smoking goes first and then the weight comes and now you’re ready for the next layer. 👏👏👏👏
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Thank you, Cindy. Yes, I am!
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Soooo great and you’re so welcome!💖
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“Let the pulse pass”: I like that. We don’t have to be at the mercy of our appetites, whatever form they may take.
Strong post and helpful, Lisa. ❤️
pax,
dora
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Thank you, Dora. You paraphrased it in a lot less words 🙂
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Not the same without the heart. ❤️🙂
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❤ 🙂
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That’s really interesting about the method working for so many things that trouble us. Way to go, Lisa!
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Thank you, Paula. I am taking it as a major lifestyle change in its infancy.
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I was thinking today how food us so packed with guilt for me. I admire you for being able to stick to this plan. (K)
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Kerfe, thank you. If I want to stay mobile and alive I have to!
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So glad for you. And your son, insightful. Loved the story.
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Selma, thank you ❤
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Congrats, Lisa, for quitting smoking and now changing your dietary habits. I imagine both must be really tough and take a lot of strong will. I’m also happy for you that you are already beginning to see some benefits.
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Christian, thank you for your supportive comments. Much appreciated.
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A strong determination is needed to ride the wave. Thanks Li for this information. I’ll look into it as well because weight has been my problem too.
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MyFitnessPal is the website if you’re interested. You’re very welcome.
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I will see. Thanks
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What a beautiful quote about the pulse. I love it.
What an amazing tale you tell of personal struggle, Lisa. Your sons, your sons…how sweet and wonderful, their support, the full circle of giving life, since they helped you back to full life.
I’m not sure why, but the topic of anorexia was an obsession of mine when I was younger. I actually wrote a novel about it in my 20s !! One that I don’t look back on and cringe at how terrible it was, ’cause it was kinda okay, lol !! Not giddy about the anorexia, obviously. Just giddy about the writing.
When I meet real life people who lived it, I’m humbled.
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Stacey, thanks for your generous and kind comment. I’m still confused how an eating disorder can swing from one pole to the other, but finding a healthy way to neutralize it has been a true blessing. What’s so strange is for a long time I was afraid of starving, even as I kept getting heavier and heavier. Body dysmorphia is part of it. So far so good. Thanks again ❤
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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Thank you, Li, for sharing your story behind those cryptic words!❤️ Everything is tied to our taste of things and what we do with it.
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You’re welcome, Punam. Good way of putting it 🙂
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🙂
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That image is causing some peculiar sensations in the back of my head. 😳😁
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It is a macabre one isn’t it 🙂
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yeah that image is weird. Its like his thoughts are a prisoner in his head and want to escape
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I love this. Congrats!
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Thank you, Sam.
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Very powerful message. But the Image is what grabbed my attention.
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Thank you. Good! It is an arresting image for sure.
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I’m still trying to lose and I am doing it so far…I’ve always heard people say…it’s gotta be a way of life. I never understood that until recently. You have to change your life around your healthy eating habits which you have done well Lisa…
When eating right and exercising becomes normal then you are on your way…which you are.
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Congratulations on your trying to lose and doing it. It isn’t easy! Every pound you lose is a real battle.
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It really is….giving up sweet tea…that is wired in my southern DNA…that was my comfort food.
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Have you ever tried “Tru Lemon” powder packets? They taste like lemonade but have some kind of lo or no-cal sweetener in it. I bet you could make unsweet tea and add one of those packet and it would be a close substitute. I think there are 10 calories per packet.
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No I haven’t…I do like Gatorade 0 with no sugar.
I will look for that! Thank you…I’ll try anything to have my Sweet Tea back!
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🙂 It’s the only thing I drink now besides coffee and herbal tea.
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I’ll look for it
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Your American sentence sums it up perfectly. Keep up the good work, Lisa.
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Thank you 🙂 I’m trying.
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Good for you and for your loved ones, Lisa.
I am all too familiar with each of the problems you mentioned, plus some you did not. Personally, it was smoking for me. When asked about my greatest accomplishments, (quitting) that is one. I’m sure I’d be dead by now if I had not stopped.
The artwork (by Zerbato) you used defines addiction for me. Before responding I had to go listen to “I’m Alive” by Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews. I still have enough foibles to fill a truck, but I am here to be alive, imperfect as that may be.
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Bill, thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad you quit smoking. What made you quit and how did you do it?
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LOL. A billboard with a very limp looking cigarette. It was the last of many attempts over years to stop. Cold turkey. Just don’t ask where the bodies are berried. 🙂
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🙂
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I find this intriguing. Your writing style is fun and interesting. Riding cycle is something that I enjoy too. Kudos
Ps- If you could just spend few minutes to my blogs and review it, it will really help me a lot to grow.
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Thank you.
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Powerful message, thanks for sharing
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Thanks and you are welcome!
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