dVerse — MTB — Cadralor Form

Crumpled, wet tissue in the motel room corner
Orange shag carpet, particle board paneling

Salt slush dries white on orange polyester
Greyscale drear of earth, sky, clouds, trees

At stainless steel polka-dots, figures sit
hunched; mangy dogs waiting for the bell

Military-grade metal clicks and clangs,
Stale sweat, fragile smiles, hollow eyes

Leaning on the convertible in a red dress
A tall pale man in khakis steps into the sun

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/d6/30/91/d63091e968b34b2ce155d49d8c848897.jpg

image link

Bjorn (and Jane) thank you very much for bringing the form to my awareness.  I love it!  Will definitely be writing more using it.

Bjorn is today’s host of dVerse’ Meet the Bar.  Bjorn says:
Write a poem in the cadralor form.  In addition, since today the Nobel Prize in literature was announced I give you the option of being inspired by:  Abdulrazak Gurnah “for his uncompromising and compassionate penetration of the effects of colonialism and the fate of the refugee in the gulf between cultures and continents.

70 Comments Add yours

  1. Ingrid says:

    This is wonderful work with the form, Lisa: your stanzas really feel like scenes from a movie. I wonder if the last stanza is a flashback to an earlier scene?

    I love how the poem tells a story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Ingrid thank you. The last scene is the day he is discharged from prison.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ingrid says:

        Trust me to get things back to front 😅 I thought maybe he’d killed the woman and ended up in prison…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Ingrid, once the bird/poem has flown, it’s open to interpretation.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale says:

    Vivid imagery offered here, Lisa. Such an interesting form, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Dale. Yes it is! One that I can see could be put to good use 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale says:

        I was just telling Merril that it might help me out with a poem I was working on…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Ooh! Ooh! Good!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. each stanza a scene so vividly seen in your words – excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Laura, many thanks ❤

      Like

  4. I agree, this is wonderfully written… and I really want to form the images into something complete. I remember that I stated that the poem “thirteen ways… ” was a bit like a cubist painting, which is how I feel reading this

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Bjorn, thank you very much and I appreciate your perspective on it. This form lends itself to creative spirit.

      Like

  5. sanaarizvi says:

    This is absolutely stellar writing, Lisa 😀 I love how swiftly each stanza builds up to the next. 💝💝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sanaa, glad you connected with it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. sanaarizvi says:

        You’re most welcome 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Vivid scenes in such few words. Nice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Ken, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. merrildsmith says:

    Such vivid scenes, Lisa. I feel like its a horror movie!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      LOL, I love your comment, Merril. That’s what it is. A horror story with a happy ending 🙂 Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. merrildsmith says:

        You’re welcome, Lisa! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  8. lillian says:

    The first stanza is absolutely visceral. I FEEL it. And you continue on….each stanza as vivid and real as the one before it. Each stanza a scene in and of itself.
    So well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Lillian, thank you much for your praise and feedback. Glad you like it.

      Like

  9. calmkate says:

    vivid imagery, you took me there as it unfolded into an unexpected ending!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Kate! I appreciate the feedback and it lets me know what I was trying to do worked. The other stanzas show how dismal and painful it is when a loved one is imprisoned, yet that small bird of hope lives for the day when the steel bar doors open.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate says:

        but sadly the stigma seldom diminishes as you know

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          The barriers to success are compounded, especially with the clingy threads that follow them from the gulag (parole, job restrictions, tracking, etc) agreed, Kate.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. calmkate says:

            so glad you are there to advocate for them Lisa!

            Liked by 1 person

  10. Dora says:

    Lisa,
    I can’t decide. Is it Tarantino or Scorsese I want to see make this into a movie?! Great use of the form, my friend.
    pax,
    dora

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Dora, I think either one would do this up right. Who do you think should star in it?? Thank you much and glad you enjoyed my first cadralor.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dora says:

        Definitely Woody Harrelson. Yep. I can see him in this scenario. Woman? Jamie Lee Curtis or Nicole Kidman. Whaddyathink?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          I love it, Dora! Or “Mickey and Mallory” (Harrelson & Juliette Lewis) could reprise their roles…

          Liked by 1 person

  11. memadtwo says:

    Chilling. Too many lives reflected in your words…(K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I know. And it’s all downhill from that moment in the last stanza 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Grace says:

    I love the story progression. Most striking is the turn from the inside to stepping out in the sun.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Grace.

      Like

  13. There is such a sad realism to the first four stanzas making the last one seem that much more dreamy. The details drew me in!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Tricia, thank you very much, glad you were drawn in.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Sadje says:

    A surreal feel to your poem Li. A collection of shots and joining together to make a story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sadje.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Knowing your career I believe this story ends with someone leaving prison. Such vivid imagery Lisa. Wonderful ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Christine 🙂

      Like

  16. Gillena Cox says:

    The last stanza may very well be the one with the most action if he is the one reminiscing. Nice one

    Much☺love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Gillena 🙂

      Like

  17. lynn__ says:

    Interesting take on the form, Lisa. It’s a bit disorienting…like being released from prison!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Lynn, thank you for seeing that, much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. lynn__ says:

        You’re very welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Helen Dehner says:

    LOVE LOVE your take on Bjorn’s challenge.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Helen, thank you! That last stanza is a visual that keeps popping up in my mind, not sure why.

      Like

  19. WildChild47 says:

    I agree with Bjorn – this feels very cubist, angular, a long-shot camera angle that picks up the important details – leaving us to fill in “blanks” – yet there is a cohesion to it —- and for some reason, this also makes me feel like I’m watching/looking at an Edward Hopper painting – the famous “Automat” or perhaps “East Side Interior” or “Hotel Room” — there is a gritty but smoothed feeling to your poem … it’s appreciable and very enjoyable, and yet like Hopper’s works, you sense the life within …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Wild Child, thank you very much for your praise and for your feedback on what you see in it. It is appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. WildChild47 says:

        😁

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Sharply etched snapshots, like movie scenes with unexpected ending!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Punam, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. K.Hartless says:

    Visual feast. Love it, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. pvcann says:

    I love the little details that make the whole, a brooding poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Paul.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pvcann says:

        So welcome Lisa

        Liked by 1 person

  23. Xan says:

    You’re left to wonder if the final image is real, or the subject’s imagination.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Ah! May be! Thanks for reading and your perspective.

      Like

  24. hedgewitch says:

    I like a poem to show and not tell too explicitly, and this one has a skillful ambiguity that paints as others have said, in the abstract, with both vibrant and subtle colors and overtones. I love how you have used sound, color and texture in this to create your mood that I can only describe as anxiety, laced with anticipation, and perhaps more than a little dread. Really well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Joy, thank you for your wonderful feedback. I am glad you like how it turned out.

      Like

  25. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    Excellent description…I could see it in my mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Max, thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  26. M says:

    you craft this form to its essence, Lisa. each stanza to me is a camera obscura – revealing, but inverted, until you turn it right-side up and all of the images (already focused) snap into recognition. ~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      M, thank you for your perspective on this, it is appreciated. Very much appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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