TSM 183 — dueling kindku

Winter’s Promise

Winter’s promise: stark
shrouds of white half hide the dark
silent arrogance
of ice’ forboding fortress
island, where none may
penetrate bleakness’ armor;
rock only spring melts.

Day Comes Softly

Day, oh faithful friend,
humble you creep; me gazing,
laughter’s eyes gleam pink;
inspired cast on light’s loving
poetry in strife
seeds each clockwork fresh-cleansed womb
touches in our sight.

Carrie is today’s host of The Sunday Muse.

Today’s offering is the Kindku, a form inspired by both traditional Japanese forms and Found Poetry. Co-created by Cendrine Marrouat and David Ellis, here are the rules for writing one taken directly from their website, Auroras & Blossoms @ https://abpositiveart.com

Although the kindku asks for a positive tone, there is no light without darkness. I did a double poem, using different words from the lyrics. The first one is dark, and the second one is light, which should give decent balance.

Lyrics for the song, where words in parentheses are for the first poem and bolded words are for the second poem:

“I Am A Rock”
written by Paul Simon

A (winter’s) day
In a deep and (dark) December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen, (silent) shroud of snow

I am a rock
I am an island

I’ve built walls
A (fortress), steep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
Its laughter and its loving I disdain

I am a rock
I am an (island)

Don’t talk of love
Well, I’ve heard the words before
It’s sleeping in my memory
I won’t disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved, I never would have cried

I am a rock
I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my (armor)
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me

I am a rock
I am an island

And a (rock) feels no pain
And an island never cries

31 Comments Add yours

  1. Carrie V. H. says:

    Oh Lisa, both of these kindkus are absolutely lovely! I love how you went beyond the surface of the image and dug deep into the heart of things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Carrie, thank you very much. I enjoyed writing to this image. You and the other hosts always pick great images to write to.

      Like

  2. memadtwo says:

    This is really well done.
    I actually do this all the time, taking words out of a source and putting some at beginnings of lines and some at ends and writing around them. Now I know it has a name.
    It’s just an exercise for me, but sometimes I use elements in later finished poems. I admire that you could make it work so well. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Kerfe, thank you very much.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Helen Dehner says:

    Lisa, you have a wonderful talent for writing to obscure forms … teaching us in the process. Here, the contrast between darkness and light is vivid!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Helen, thank you very much. I look at them as fun puzzles.

      Like

  4. Sadje says:

    Very well written Li.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome my friend

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautiful, and very relevant to today. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Jim says:

    Nice work, Lisa. The first appeals to me stronger. The ice rocks that spring melts brought to me of growing up whe the snow houses we would build fairly well lasted to spring which brought melting of winter’s wonders.
    ..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Jim, thank you. Very glad it brought fond memories back to you.

      Like

  7. wyndolynne says:

    Both poems lift me up–you catch that kind of melancholy-in-motion that can hit one on a walk, chiming with the image. Love the song & form together as underpining.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I appreciate the feedback on how the poems affected you, Wyndolynne, thank you.

      Like

  8. writingwhatnots says:

    This is beautifully balanced. Such a clever way of using a source. So many lovely lines – ‘
    Day, oh faithful friend,
    humble you creep; me gazing,
    laughter’s eyes gleam pink;’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Marion, thank you. So glad you connected with them ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Gillena Cox says:

    Well now, that’s interesting. As i was reading i was thinking is this some kind of form?

    Happy Sunday

    Much💜love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Gillena. Happy Sunday!

      Like

  10. Sherry Marr says:

    Beautiful writing in a form I had not heard of. How cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sherry.

      Like

  11. qbit says:

    “bleakness’ armor” – that is a great image!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Carol anne says:

    this was awesome! I loved how the poems flowed! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Carol anne, much appreciated.

      Like

  13. This is wonderful, Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sarah!

      Like

  14. Suzanne says:

    What an intriguing poetic form. I like the way you have responded to the image. It is certainly a disturbing one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Suzanne.

      Like

  15. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    The song matches well…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      On this one I started with the song and picked words out of the lyrics to build the poem. Thank you, Max.

      Liked by 1 person

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