Mom will not see another solstice in this life. Day is night and night is day as night approaches. They say the morphine is to help with breathing and for the pain; but mom was breathing ok before and she had no pain other than that of the children she bore and the grandchildren she raised not stopping by to see her. They say karma will take care of dastardly deeds, but why does it need to be now, when she is at death’s door?
They say that hearing is the last to go. Today, as I sit at her bedside, rubbing her arms and hands with lotion and looking for a sign, I sing her songs to help her on her way. “Presence of the Lord,” “He’s everything to me,” and “Golden Slumbers.” She is at peace. I hope she hears them. I hope she hears when I tell her I’m sorry for not being the daughter she wanted me to be. I hope she hears me tell her I love her and that I want her to stay, yet I know she has to go.
Nurse holds the morphine
as her chest rises and falls
faint now; voices fade…
Frank J Tassone is today’s host of dVerse’ Monday Haibun. Frank says:
New to haibun? The form consists of one to a few paragraphs of prose—usually written in the present tense—that evoke an experience and are often non-fictional/autobiographical. They may be preceded or followed by one or more haiku—nature-based, using a seasonal image—that complement without directly repeating what the prose stated.
Tao Talk 
My heart goes out to you Lisa at this difficult time. This is a most beautiful Haibun. Bless you and your mom ❤️💔
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Christine, thank you for the blessings. ❤
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You are in my thoughts Lisa ☺️❤️
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Hugs Lisa. Such a poignant piece of writing 💕
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Paula thank you for the hugs. Much needed.
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oh Lisa, sending you love and light to you and your mom. raw and painful. May she blessed in light and Gods grace.. Take good care!💖💖
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Cindy thank you for your kindness ❤
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You’re so welcome Lisa!💕🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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sorry for your pending loss Lisa, having that time together to heal is so essential 🙂
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Thank you, Dear Kate. ❤
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hugs
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Sending you hugs and prayers Li. May the journey ahead be easy for you both. Beautiful poem
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Dear Sadje, thank you ❤
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Lots of love
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Beautifully written and expressed, but sobering and sad. This piece is so powerful
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Thank you very much.
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Beautifully heartrending, Lisa. I’ve been there, with both parents. I’m sorry for your pending loss.
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Frank, thank you and sorry you have been through this also. ❤
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Jade, I’m so sorry. She does hear, I’m sure. Xxoo K.
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❤ ❤ ❤
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Lisa I’m so sorry…she does hear you…that I’m sure of. I believe my mom heard me also.
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Max thank you ❤
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This is such a deep heartfelt haibun, Lisa. I am sorry to hear your mother is close to the end of her life. You are the best daughter any mother could ask for!
Dwight
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Dwight, I am sorry to say my mom passed on this afternoon. Thank you for your kind words.
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Oh, I am so sorry Lisa. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Thank you, Dwight, much appreciated.
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So sorry Lisa! Nothing but love here.
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Petru thank you. My mom passed on this afternoon.
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Ah! I’m so sorry. No matter one’s own age, the gap left is huge. Mothers are such an enormous part of our lives. Consider yourself deeply in your mourning. Much love Lisa.
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❤
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This tugs at the heart… how difficult. </3
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
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Can relate to this totally. My Mom passed away yesterday, after a 3-day battle in the Intensive Care Unit.
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OH NO, Reena. My deepest sympathy to you and the other loved ones left behind. My mom passed on this afternoon. {{{HUGS}}}
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My empathy and condolences!
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thank you and to you
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thanks for writing this so raw, Lisa –
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❤ Barbara thanks for your thoughts.
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Oh, that was so poignant, I could feel all the emotions swirling in the words left unsaid, hidden amongst those that were.
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My mom passed yesterday in her sleep.
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Oh, I am so sorry, Lisa. I send you lots of hugs and offer you my deepest condolences.
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Dale, thank you ❤
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Lisa, I’m so sorry. Your poem is just heart-breaking to read. If there’s any consolation, at least your mom is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you and your family, and I wish you guys the necessary strength to cope with your loss.
I was very close to my mother-in-law. I used to call her my second mom. In fact, she had lived with us for several years until we unfortunately could no longer take care of her. When she passed in October 2020, it was pretty rough.
My parents are still alive, both in their mid-80s. I’m supposed to see them in late July after more than 2 years. The thought the inevitable is going to happen at some point is already a nightmare.
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Christian, thank you so much for your words. Knowing you’ve gone through the loss of your second mom after caring for her for so long had to be devastating when she passed on. I’m very happy you will be seeing your folks in July. Please give them extra hugs from me ❤ ❤
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So very sorry for your loss Lisa.
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thank you Carol
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A very moving haibun. I am sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers.
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Grace thank you ❤
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My god Lisa, I am so very very sorry my friend. Your deep sadness breaks my heart. I cry as I write this. May your mother soon be at peace, and may you find peace and strength in the memories, and the love you share with her, now in her time of leaving, as you did for the entirety of your life together with her. The beautiful memories, and that love, will last forever. ✌🏼❤️
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Rob, *thank*you* for your gentle and wise words ❤
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For you my friend! ✌🏼
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❤ ❤ ❤
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You have my deepest condolences, Lisa. I can totally relate on not being the daughter your mom wanted. But we all do the best we can, right? Please keep in mind, one’s death bed is a sacred space – what a blessing for you to have been there with her. Wishing you love, light, and peace in abundance. 🌞
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❤ ❤ thank you, Lisa ❤ ❤
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Sorry for your loss lisa
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Vartika, thank you very much.
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