Quail from your downward darting kiss
from Siegfried Sassoon’s, The Kiss
quail skitter in yesterday’s green
from under ferny parasols
your face flickers, a cinema,
downward; frayed cellulose reruns
darting confabulation’s myth
kiss me again, again ’til dust
kiss without bed of delusion
darting sparks; myth made manifest
downward wrung, convergence breathes life
your heart’s pulsing, our circuits linked
from felt to ineffable, gods
quail at their gestaltic folly
image: “The Kiss,” by Mark Stevenson
I decided to write the first stanza from front to back and the second from back to front. I didn’t use 8-line stanzas, but I did use 8-syllable lines. Thank you, Laura, for this very enjoyable challenge.
Laura is today’s host of dVerse’ Meeting the Bar. Laura says:
Choose ONE of the [below] lines and write a stanza(s) taking each word as the start of each successive line i.e. the first word begins the first line, the second begins the second and so on. Basically, we are taking the horizontal line and making it vertical- its vaguely acrostic and I’m not sure if this form has a given name.
• Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part
• Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows
• By freezing passion at its blossoming
• I guard her beauty clean from rust
• Quail from your downward darting kiss
Rules: You must keep the same sequence though you may reverse it
Your poem should preferably be at least 2 stanzas long
Rhyme is optional but try to stick to the meter of your chosen line
And for those of you who like an extra challenge
Your chosen line will determine a stanza of either 6, 7, 8 or 10 lines which gives you the options of choosing a poetry form to match – see the Poetry Forms Index
Suggestions: You might want to make it a ‘kiss and make-up’ poem given the day!
I like th8s5 reflecting form, and I really like the film references in the first stanza.
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Thank you, Sarah!
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Excellent Lisa! 💖
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Thank you, Paula 🙂
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Wow, this is amazing!
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Mary thanks much 🙂
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You did a great job with the prompt Lisa. I love the art piece!
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Thanks much, Dwight. I imagine that’s what swirling souls look like.
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:>) You are right!
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I like your change of meaning of the Word Quail. I had those thoughts also, perhaps a picture of the bird. But I did not.
Your reversal worked neat, clever!!
..
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Jim, thank you!
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Nice one.
Thanks for dropping by to read mine
Much💖love
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Very good Li.
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Thank you, Sadje.
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You’re welcome my dear friend
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What a beautiful piece of art and your words illuminate it. I particularly like the second stanza. (K)
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Kerfe, thank you. I really hope there is a way for soul mates to reconnect it their next lives. What do you think about it?
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I’ve actually written something kind of on the subject for the next Kick-About. I think spirits survive but relationships in this life are rarely that clear. Don’t the Buddhists believe that you keep working on the relationships from your past lives? But the troubled ones, to make them better. I’d like to believe in reincarnation, but I’m not sure. I’ve certainly never had what I would call a soul mate. But I’ve had plenty of troubled relationships.
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Thanks for your thoughts on it, Kerfe.
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I love what you did here, Li! “ferny parasols” is awesome and the contrast between the two stanzas so palpable. ❤️
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Punam, thanks very much and glad to hear that the living and afterlife stanzas were distinct.
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Wonderful piece Lisa, and your inversion is most effective! 👍🏼✌🏼
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Thank you, Rob!
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The first to jump out at me were the skittering quail – an inspired change of meaning, Lisa! I love the mirrored verses and the ‘frayed cellulose reruns’.
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Kim thank you very much. As I look at it, it feels like the living stanza feels false and the beyond stanza feels real.
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this poem was like a dance – a swirl of lovely words and good to see how the line prompt worked in reverse
“kiss without bed of delusion” – delicious!
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Laura, thank you so much. That is my favorite line also 🙂
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A myriad of images and sensations pulsing with life — I loved it.
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Dora, thank you!
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Captivating in word choices and imagery. I especially love “from under ferny parasols your face flickers” and your two takes on “Quail”.
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Mish thank you and glad you enjoyed.
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I loved the graphic you chose for your poem Lisa. It was a perfect match for your flowing, fluttering words. Beautiful ☺️
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Christine, thank you ❤
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Love the combination of the image and your poem; such a sensory write. Love these lines:
“your face flickers, a cinema,
downward; frayed cellulose reruns”
“your heart’s pulsing, our circuits linked”
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Thank you for your lovely comment, Sunra.
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There’s so much that’s good in this that it’s hard to choose a favorite line…I’ll just tell you it thrilled me that you used the word parasols! It’s a wonderful word, and offers a lovely visual.
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Happy you enjoyed the poem, Leyde, thank you 🙂
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You’re welcome–my pleasure!
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The film as a metaphor is so good, and I do love the reflected form.
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Thank you very much, Bjorn ❤
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kiss me again, indeed! I like how you flipped the order!
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Thank you, Margaret, and glad you enjoyed it.
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