It begins with a squelching sound and
an unholy stench. I look down. In
the brown-red mud a strewn tiny hand
holding a ribbon, color now unknown,
as I try to wake. Black skies pour rain.
There has never been a time when my
family has not been at war, ancestors
upon ancestors.
I look at my daughter
with her dark, hollow eyes, too wise
for a ten-year old. My son, out back with
his hollow-eyed friends, practice their
aims rocks at the neighborhood stray
cats, laughing with glee as they bleed.
How do I wake up from this nightmare,
where honor and history mean more
than the souls of my children?
Just once, let me lift finger from trigger
and see the color of ribbon in her hand.
Punam, thank you for having the courage to open dialogue. I can’t, I won’t choose sides, as there will be nobody but losers. The other day, totally randomly, while watching YouTube channels I follow, I found a video by Sam Vaknin, who I have been watching for awhile on the topic of toxic narcissism and deprogramming oneself from the influence and understanding why it happened. This time Sam was talking about the conflict between Israel and Gaza. This poem was inspired by Sam’s talk.
top image: “Nightmare” by Gladiola Sotomayor
Punam is today’s host for dVerse’ Poetics. Punam says:
For today’s Poetics, I would like you to write an anti war poem. Let it not be an ode to the slain soldier. Let it be about his dilemma about killing strangers, his despair at taking lives, his inner turmoil about nationalism. Let it be from his mother/father/wife or kid’s point of view. Or write from an ordinary citizen’s perspective. Let us all raise our voice against wars that do nothing for anyone…not even victors!
Tao Talk 
This is heart- wrenching, Li. Nice write. :)
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Kitty, thank you. It was difficult to write.
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Nice post
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Thank you, Satyam.
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War is not about winning but losing the least… but alas for the ordinary men and women there is nothing but loss. Even being declared a hero for one day is probably more damage than silence.
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The image in the opening lines is horrific and tragic, Lisa. I did read on, but I got stuck on the image.
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Kim, thank you.
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It is so very tragic Li. Heartbreaking 💔
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<3
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💔
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This poem really strikes the heart. So well done. War has no winners ever.
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Sherry, thank you.
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Every side in any war is a losing side. (K)
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The poem was excellent. It’s an awful situation which sadly I don’t believe will ever end. I liked the video.
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Max, thank you very much. If empathy can be cultivated one by one, there may be a chance. I think Sam’s video lays out why it’s going to be so difficult for each person to choose empathy. I do hope we don’t get pulled into the mess unless it is for humanitarian aid.
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The reason I’m so pessimistic is because since I was a kid and through the presidents…they will sign something and it’s not worth the paper it’s written on…I hope it’s not the case.
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The leaders are probably the most corrupt members of society and we are at their mercy. Our system is broken. Did you look at some presidential signatures and see they are worthless recently?
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No I didn’t see that. I think all of them are as bad as the other.
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How do I wake up from this nightmare,
where honor and history mean more
than the souls of my children?
You have raised some great questions about what we do to each other!
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Dwight, thank you very much. It wasn’t easy to do as it is such a volatile topic.
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I can see that. What are we thinking!
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In war there are rarely winners. All the trauma it causes is just unimaginable, especially for children!
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:(
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Nice. The author who writes emotionally from that perspective, having lived that, Tim O’Brien would like this website. He volunteered to be a foot soldier in ‘Nam to get out of a jail sentence. He wrote ‘The Things They Carried’ and ‘If I Die in a Combat Zone, Box me up, and Ship me Home’
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Thank you, “Someone.” Tim O’Brien sounds like an interesting person I need to read.
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I’m Aralia Fresia aka Lara D.
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Pleased to meet you, Aralia/Lara :)
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Regarding
the way the conflict
in Israel started, via
petroleum-propelled paragliders:
HELIUM BUFFOON
The Narcissist is a gas,
He’s like, a helium balloon.
Full of air, only lighter.
At least I like to think of him, that way,
a fighter in a pinch, of the anal sphincter,
what mathematical equation …
… for the twists, and the turns, in this persuasion?
This errant, flatulent balloon, this-way- and-that, farting?
“Well, that’s just the beginning, the fun’s just starting”,
Gesticulating, like a hand, in a lecture.
An invisible man, would be your conjecture.
“Or?”
“merely bubbles in the champagne.”
Rising to the top.
… 2023 Oct 27 (c) “Helium Buffoon” by Aralia Fresia aka LND
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Interesting poem that shows your emotional investment in the conflict between Israel and Gaza warriors. Hoping you don’t feel the same way about the innocents on both sides getting caught in the crossfire?
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Of course not. Just all those who carry weapons to kill and murder gleefully innocent people..
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Great poem, Lisa.
Sometimes, shining light on the truth is a very dark and unpopular thing to do.
However, I felt the instructions and directions for this prompt set a very narrow road/goal rather than “open dialogue.” We were to address the “inhuman side of war” specifically. War, to me, if very “human.” Like genocide, it is one of the things we humans do well.
In any case, well done.
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Bill, thank you very much for the thoughtful commentary. Humans through history have probably needed to be vicious to survive, but in these times, it isn’t necessary but chosen. That is one of the biggest crimes of all.
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Gut-wrenching imagery, Lisa. 🥲
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I feel bad saying thanks, but thank you for reading and your comment.
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Great poem friend
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Thank you, Ms.
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HELIUM BUFFOON
The Narcissist is a gas,
He’s like, a helium balloon.
Full of air, only lighter.
At least I like to think of him, that way,
a fighter in a pinch, of the anal sphincter,
what mathematical equation …
… for the twists, and the turns, in this persuasion?
This errant, flatulent balloon, this-way- and-that, farting?
“Well, that’s just the beginning, the fun’s just starting”,
Gesticulating, like a hand, in a lecture.
An invisible man, would be your conjecture.
“Or?”
“merely bubbles in the champagne.”
Rising to the top.
… 2023 Oct 27 (c) “Helium Buffoon” by Aralia Fresia aka LND
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Aralia, I just read the other poem and see you’ve switched out the warriors for narcissists. Do you see the warriors as narcissists?
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Tim O’Brien that author I was telling you about, he said the heros and warriors around him went into the ‘Nam war romanticizing killing, but he only dodged bullets. Became a survivor to tell about it. Only shot back in dire self-defenses. He says the veterans who gleefully murder on the other hand, ended up the most affected by PTSD and grippling nightmares.
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That is interesting to learn about the survivalist soldier vs. the sadistic soldier. The part that is human in them must be working on their conscience. I wonder if any amount of therapy can soothe the acts of the past in their cases?
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There is a story on Unsolved Mysteries where a veteran recalls a nurse who talked him into writing a letter to his wife back at home. It was ‘Nam war and he was just so ashamed and depressed having lost his legs in a battle right before he was supposed to go home, fully in one piece, intact. The nurse nurtured his broken spirit in shock, and wrote the letter for him as his nurse. He recovered and went back to his wife and they had children and he said he had won the war, meaning he had won over the darkness and evil as soon as that nurse gave him hope.
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<3 Heartwarming story. I bet he was one of the survivors and not one of the sadistic soldiers. What do you think?
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Who can say? Without that nurse he might have been passive and let himself go into a death march to self-destruction. Could have been sadistic because in hospital situations a narcissist doesn’t exhibit the false self, they look same as the survivor type. Sam Vaknin has a new video out yesterday about the “death drive” being instilled by an insecure childhood, with a distracted or depressed mother in the first two or three years, figuratively dead, the “death” drive, opposite the libido drive, and how increasingly psychopathic narcissists end up as sadistic soldiers, or suicide bombers.
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Thanks for the heads-up on the Vaknin video. He’s a sharp cookie. I’ve done a little bit of study on distracted and depressed mother and “hostile attribution.” How some kids survive childhood even a little bit sane is a mystery.
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To think that these mothers are helpless to what is going on around them, and still getting victim-blamed even in principle, for everything that goes awry, as they raise children, doesn’t seem right, but of course, the implication is still there, surfacing, why wars are always bad and break hearts that can’t be repaired. We are humans, if we can make love, then we can stop war. But if we are just F-king, the dream is broken too. Let’s start blaming fathers for things instead of mothers.
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I don’t blame fathers, per se, but I do blame men who sexually abuse women and children, which essentially either outright steals, or at minimum maims, their souls so that if and when they do become parents they are hobbled in their competence. Freud had it right with saying trust vs. mistrust was the foundation. When that foundation has been obliterated…
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I’m not happy with Biden, the way he is acting like a clueless substitute teacher who punishes the kid.who got beat up, and fights back, rather than suspending from school his locker room bully.
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Thanks for this post … I feel a little better now; Aren´t this people self destructing? They will have to face reality one day or the other …
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You are welcome and glad you feel better. That is very possibly true about self-destruction.
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