Elegy to a Still Living But Lost Love
Silly thought, I thought we had forever,
parsing over joe, puzzling mysteries.
Now they have you to themselves in heaven.
Silly thought, I thought we had forever.
Never hear your rich laugh thrum e’er again.
Parting now, past and future histories.
Silly thought, I thought we had forever,
parsing over joe, puzzling mysteries.
Struck in love and death you were an arrow.
You never settled for just good enough.
Like a bulldog, getting to the marrow.
Struck in love and death you were an arrow.
You loved us with fierceness of no shadow.
Your aim was true; why was not love enough?
Struck in love and death you were an arrow.
You never settled for just good enough.
Sitting now atop our dune, surveying,
blowing breeze, your spirit yet by my side.
Reconciled, yet death’s an ass still braying.
Sitting now atop our dune, surveying,
In my heart I know you’re ever waiting,
Robes with harp to welcome your loving bride.
Sitting now atop our dune, surveying,
blowing breeze, your spirit yet by my side.
triolet form English style (10 syllables per line) (x 3, one for each element)
Laura is today’s host of dVerse’ Meet the Bar. Laura says:
Topic:
- someone close to you
- someone vaguely known e.g a neighbour
- someone totally unknown except through deeds or writings eg a dead poet perhaps like the recently deceased Louise Gluck
- a group of people (eg as in Gray’s “Elegy written in a country churchyard”)
Form: Must include these three elements, ordered thus:
- lament –expressing grief and sorrow
- praise – admiration of the deceased
- consolation and solace
Tao Talk 
:D this is so lovely Li 🤗🤗🤗
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Thank you, Carol Anne :)
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I love the beautiful rhythm of your poem. Very emotive Li
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Sadje, thank you.
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You’re always welcome
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Lamenting someone still living can be even more heartbreaking than losing someone to death, especially when all seemed so good.
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Yes.
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This is a moving elegy, Lisa, and I like the lines you chose to repeat, the parsing/parting/parsing internal rhyme, and especially these sadly romantic lines:
‘Sitting now atop our dune, surveying,
blowing breeze, your spirit yet by my side’.
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Kim, thank you.
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You’re welcome, Lisa.
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Your spirit yet by my side …. is a such a strong statement of faith.
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Faith is a good word for it, Reena.
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Well crafted and deeply felt. I was somewhat confused because the title suggested someone lost but not dead (like a lover who left) but the lines pointed a different way, toward someone loved who had died. I know the two are close; did you mean to leave the reader between?
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Brendan, between is probably the best way to look at it. Thanks for catching that.
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Great poem Li so well described in your repeat!
Mourning those alive are harder than those that are gone!💕
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Cindy, thank you. It’s true.
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I do like the form you have chosen! The linet hat resonates with me is “Reconciled, yet death’s an ass still braying.”
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Thank you. I wanted to enforce a few things in each section and that form does it.
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Loss has many definitions and I like that it is not so specifically defined here, leaving me to wonder. With that said, every loss brings sorrow, remembrance and hopefully acceptance. I feel all of these in this piece.
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Mish what a wonderful and insightful comment. Thank you for sharing what you see here.
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Gorgeous, heartfelt … you are an inspiration when it comes to choosing forms. The triolet works beautifully here.
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Helen, I’m glad you like the form I chose for it. Thank you very much.
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I feel the between that Brendan noted. That is the place of the spirit. For the living, forever is a fool’s game. (K)
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Insightful, Kerfe. It can be a cage also.
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It can.
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Those repeated lines add a certain emotional touch to the poem. I cannot help thinking the author is a bit divided regarding her feelings towards the gone. “Still living but lost love,” you call it.
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For sure. In social media lingo, “it’s complicated.” Thank you for reading and your comment.
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A sad but nicely written poem. Unfortunately, time passes and life can be over before we know it. It’s a good reminder to make the best of the time we have.
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Well said, Christian.
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Thats a beautiful one Lisa. You wrote that one really well…it flows naturally.
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Max, thank you. Speaking of flowing naturally, I’m listening to Hackney Diamonds…
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Glad you like it!
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Just perfect.
Much🖤love
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Thank you, Gillena. On your poem, your first stanza is so beautiful, and with the rest of the poem it is clear how much you loved Your Mom <3
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Beautifully crafted triolet, Lisa. You make it seem effortless and oh so poignant.
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Dora, thank you so much.
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My pleasure, Lisa.
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