All Belong
Grandbaby’s too young!
Pre-school is too long!
Care-free days too short!
Let her be awhile,
running in the fields.
Let her be a child (with)
[not student with rules]
unencumbered smiles!
Sleepless grandma frets.
Soundless voice with soothe:
“Try to understand;
impotent upsets
waste your energy.
Incorporate sense:
all belong to world.”
Acceptance emerged.
I found out yesterday younger son and daughter in-law are looking at a full-time preschool for my 3 year-old granddaughter. I’ve been writing a poem a day for July, which will continue until the end of August for the Poetry Postcard Festival 2024, which has me mulling over so many things in the morning while sipping first cuppajoe, looking outside, and petting Mlady and Dotty.
Laura is today’s host for dVerse’ Meeting The Bar/Form. Laura wants us to write a poem in the octameter form. Laura has given us samples of poetry by Sara Teasdale, born 8/8/1884, to inspire our poems.
Tao-Talk 
Congratulations on writing a poem a day, Lisa, and, although I agree with you that children should be children, pre-school does teach them how to socialise. I love the ‘unencumbered smiles’!
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I understand what you’re saying. She’s getting socialized on an ongoing basis in the community already. Thanks much, Kim <3
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let the pre-schoolers run together in the fields!
The 5 syllable lines have naturally given rise to the didactic here!
Bravo on your July poem fest Lisa- that is some feat.
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I like your idea of pre-schoolers running in the fields! Love your observation about the didactic! Thanks, Laura. I was only going to do one month, but kinda sorta got roped into another. All blog fodder eventually :)
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I like the punchy energy with the way your lines read, Lisa. I’ve read a lot of differing opinions above, and I don’t have one to share, really. I’ll share my experience of preschool. Each of my three went to preschool for two years beginning at age three and loved it. They enjoyed the play and socializing. They learned a lot, and they got to explore the world through play, nature, art, and other things. I am blessed to have been able to (mostly) stay at home with them for all three years before they went, so they got to do whatever they wanted and we had a ton of wonderful experiences together in that time. The only one who did struggle a bit with the transition was Finnegan. I’m not sure if that’s because he’s the ‘baby’ and that’s part of the natural order of things. It took him quite a while to adjust; it was hard for me as well, and I considered stopping taking him. I think that would have been problematic getting him to go to school later, and we stuck with it. I’m glad I did. Maybe I’m very blessed that all three of my kids love going to school, they love their friends there, and they are excited when school starts each year.🤗
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Melissa, thanks so much for your feedback on the situation. There is no “right answer” that I can see either. It is going to be what it is going to be, based on what they decide, and they are very sensitive to her wants and needs, so it hopefully will work out. All I know is that I love her with every fiber in my being.
One of the reasons I love to write poetry is to process anxiety. With the added benefit of sharing it, having it read, and getting feedback, the resulting dialogue helps process the situation as well. Thanks again, Melissa <3
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Lisa, I hope your granddaughter loves her new school! Of course, all children are different; my feeling is 3 is still very young for a full day of school but she may thrive in the social environment. Good luck to the family! 😊
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Nancy, a full day away from parents sounds too much, I agree. Plus, if she has a meltdown and they have to go get her, that could become a horrible pattern to shake. An hour or two a day would be plenty imo. They are just researching what’s out there right now. Thanks on the luck <3
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We’re going through it now with our 4th grandchild. She’s 4 1/2 yrs old and will be back in school in Sept, going 2 full days/week. That will be a good way for her to transition into Kindergarten next year. You are always very welcome. 🤍
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My younger one went at 3, but only for 1/2 day. Had to get work done. It was also a casual preschool–no attempt to teach any academics. In fact her kindergarten was much like that as well. Not sure you can get away with that anymore. (K)
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My kids didn’t go to school until kindergarten. Older son was almost 6 because of his birthday and younger one was a couple months shy of 5 when he went. Both did fine. They are looking at 2 of them and each is very different from the other. It’s a process that might take some time (fingers crossed.)
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It’s good they have choices.
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Luv the “unencumbered smiles!”
much♡love
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Thanks, Gillena <3
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It reminds me of something (pre school is different than what I am going on about)…I probably have told you. I went to a PTA meeting and they brought up “we would like to have school year round”…. and “California does it”… I pissed some parents off… We are NOT California…I said absolutely not…they need summer vacation and them to be kids…I don’t use your school as a babysitter. That last line got me a lot of dirty looks.
Most of his teachers and schools were great though here…I would ask for the circularium and they would lay it out….they never did do the school year round. I cherished my summer vacation and I wanted Bailey to have that. Well I rattled on!!! sorry
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Good for you on stepping up and speaking up. Bailey and the rest of the kids benefited from it.
I know exactly what you mean, Max. If you want me to be totally honest, I see schools as places where kids are brainwashed/indoctrinated in certain ways of thinking. I am not saying I don’t want her to go to school, per se, but does she have to get started so danged young? And absolutely no way should kids go to school year round! That is total madness. I really don’t think kids would even go along with that at some point.
With my granddaughter, she is getting plenty of socialization out and about in the community. I want her to be “free” as long as she can be. You know what I mean?
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When did you start school Lisa? I didn’t start until I was 5…I skipped kindegarden because you could back then. I agree…the socialization does help a bit but yes…I don’t want my kid brainwashed like you said…and that is right or left.
Yes I do know what you mean! My friend is homeschooling his kid through high school…he can do it because he works from home…the kid is very well adjusted so I get it!
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I was 5 when I started. PAINFULLY shy and although I loved learning (and still do) the socializing part was like a curse. It wasn’t until my folks divorced when I was 10 and my mom and us kids moved to a new neighborhood full of kids that things changed. I don’t think skipping K was an option here (not sure really) but I do remember when they started offering pre-K for kids when my sons were young. I skipped that for them as I thought it was too soon.
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That was me… I stuttered so that made it worse…I didn’t stutter…I locked up…when they called roll…sometimes I couldn’t say “here.” It was embarassing. I wasn’t good at it either.
We sent Bailey to a private school and they were going to hold him back because he didn’t know his alphabet in Kindegarden…we went him to public after that and he did great.
I did better when my parents divorced…because the fighting at home was over. It helped both of us.
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Max I am sure I told you the story about James Earl Jones when he was a kid. He was a terrible stutterer. One of his teachers believed in him and it made all of the difference. This is in his own words. You know that might have had something to do with why I did better after my folks divorced. Never thought of that before. I know the original neighborhood was way quiet and hardly any kids, but the new neighborhood was full of kids and everybody was outside playing. It was great :)
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I had a lot of good teachers but not like Jones did when I was stuttering.
Your enviorment makes a lot of difference. I totally get that also. Maybe the combination of both.
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Nowadays, children are put into daycare so that the parents can go to work. It’s good for them as they learn valuable skills like social interaction.
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Thanks for sharing your point of view on it, Sadje.
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I’ve seen this with my grandkids. My son and his wife both work so their youngest has been going to the day care at 8-9 months old. He has quite a vocabulary now and can count to 10 at 2 years old.
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Our children are pushed out of childhood far too quickly. Perhaps that is why Gen Z suffers such high rates of depression and suicide. Just a thought that came to me.
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100% agree, Robbie. Thanks for sharing your perspective on it.
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My pleasure, Lisa
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A gradual introduction through short days seems the best bet, Lisa…
I am also doing the PoPoFest but am writing two or three at a time due to work breaking up my week (2.5 days still). I am on list 10 this year…
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Andrew, I think that’s the best path also.
Happy to hear you’re doing PoPoFest! Still working and writing poems keeps you out of trouble ;) I’m in groups 1 and 19 (yes, they roped me into a second group.) Always a fun experience.
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Congratulations and good luck with your poem a day. It’s fun to receive those postcards-I got one from Kerfe.
Hopefully, the pre-school will be one that is not rigid, and that encourages play, not academics.
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Thanks, Merril. I’m on track to finish by end of August. I know Kerfe is one of the art-poem emissaries of our writing community and love how she sends her work out into the world.
As to the pre-school situation, the 2 they’ve looked at so far are focusing on socializing.
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You’re welcome, Li.
I’m sure it will all work out for your grandkids.
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First congratulations on writing a poem a day. I tried that in April but, life kept interrupting and I only made it half way through the month.
Hopefully, they find a preschool that is nurturing with some freedom to run. Around here preschool is a half day and most school districts do not offer it and if they do it cost. Independent preschools can be very expensive, so I am told.
A hard decision for a parent to make.
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Truedessa, thank you. Some days that morning inspiration hasn’t come, and I just skip that day. Other days, more than one shows up. It seems to balance out.
Yes, on the preschools. What you describe is just like here. I know I’ve been curbing the impulse to give input (unless they ask me for it.)
Truedessa, I still plan on writing to your wonderful prompt but will probably link it up to OLN.
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I think I might have accidentally replied to someone else’s comment. Not sure how that happened.😬
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No worries in blogland :)
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My daughter hated going to pre-school (and that was at 4) and I didn’t like her going either. She had been so confident and happy, we did so much together and lots of socialising and learning. Then she loved “big school”. Our granchildren now (we have 4) 1 loved it, 2 didn’t, the other is still too young, maybe there is no rights or wrong, its the individual child – personally I haven’t seen it reflect on how they feel about “big school”…. I think a childhood of fun and growing confident, however, that may be for each, is what is important….
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<3 your comment, Suzanne. I think you're right, no right or wrong answer for all, more customized to the individual child and circumstances.
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The last part of this sounds quite hopeful and constructive, especially that the parents are very sensitive to the child’s wants and needs.
There is no “right answer” that I can see either. It is going to be what it is going to be, based on what they decide, and they are very sensitive to her wants and needs, so it hopefully will work out.
When I was very little, my mom started substitute teaching once in a while. (She had earned a bachelor in education precisely the amount of time it takes for a pregnancy before I was born.) I would be watched by a babysitter who was an older middle-aged woman with an accent (German I think). There was nothing regular about the scheduling of my mom working at that time. But she wanted to have hours or days put in so that she could get a top-pick full-time position soon. Subsequently, I went to preschool (called nursery school) for half days but stayed with one of the teachers and her younger daughter my age for the rest of the day at their family house (there was a significantly-older sister who was never there as the dad was not there at those hours either). The preschool was quite good, but the time at their home was not enjoyable kind of at all. The woman was a very strict person, which somehow didn’t show or maybe matter at the organized Presbyterian venue (with lots of activities). Her daughter wasn’t really social or interactive, although she wasn’t quite antisocial or unpleasant either. We always had to take a nap, too, which I never did after like the age of one. So there I was, wasting time in bed. I came across them later in life and went on a camping trip with them (now with the other sister and the dad and a large group of work friends); naps still required. Jesus. I was done with high school, but the prior schoolmate was still a senior (therefore a child who had to obey I guess). This difference is because I had skipped kindergarten (so I was seventeen like she was). I skipped kindergarten for the purpose of my mom working full time and getting me on with regular schooling. Really, I would’ve preferred that full days of school or hybrid caretaking not get underway until the next year, at least (what was normal then) while there was a mismatch of my needs and those of my mother, who turned out to be a perpetual selfish sister in disposition. My mom needed to be out in the world receiving affirmation, especially, and pay so that she would feel justified in buying whatever she wanted as well. In Mom’s case, I actually think there was something wrong with her that has ended with her compulsively falling for scams (preferring placing her hopes in strangers including, earlier, men who would not reciprocate in her craving when she already had a caring husband who she mainly picked because he was desirable and sought after at their college). She was a premature twin, and it has been shown that a baby stuck in a hospital can develop outward-looking attachment habits (turn out less able to form meaningful bonds). This is another reason I question the whole obedience mantra now that I think about it as an adult focusing on the best for kids. Anyway, she cared in a broad way — I was fed more fresh foods than was common at the time in a city environment and she put a lot of thought into my school selections — but she was not able to be sensitive. This lack would be an issue were she to be a mom at home or at work. I’m very thankful for my schools, where there was rarely ever a problem (and the principals were always the best I could’ve wished for).
This is a long-running thing, so I didn’t add how I raised my own children.
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Marleen, sorry for the late response. Just found your comment in my spam folder. You know it is a wonder any of us survive when you think about it. My mom was physically present much of the time but usually was distracted by other things once I started kindergarten at age 5. She was a stay at home mom until I was about 8, but again, very distracted. She started working when I was about 8 and my folks got divorced when I was 10. Parenting was something she always proclaimed loudly was her special skill but she was a lousy parent and a much better bartender. I can’t fault her though. My trial by the firing of her and my dad’s parenting turned me into a tough cookie and a survivor. Sometimes you need both to make it in the world and between the two of them I think they did a fair-to-middling job, all things considered. My grandparents were my saving grace. I spent a lot of time at their house.
I appreciate your insights into the situation and your sharing of your personal experiences from your own childhood.
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