dVerse OLN 414 — Sleeplessness

Sleeplessness

pink dawn’s new light creeps darkness’ hill
blushing tells me awake; I’m still
not asleep

my thoughts meander consciousness
deprives xana-du of mistress
so sleepy!

body leaden as if tortured
racing rumination forward
sleep-zombied

can I neutralize this schism?
moderate this hers ‘n hism?
beauty sleep?

make a pact, a blessed covenant
walk as lovers, not sprint and grunt
sound asleep…


My second try at Compound Word Verse.

Grace is today’s host for dVerse’ OpenLinkNight. Grace posted about Compound Word Verse in October 2021. (See here) Laura used it as a prompt for MTB/Form last week.

It is a form invented by Margaret R. Smith (source here):-

  • 15 lines
  • 5 stanzas
  • 3 lines per stanza
  • rhyme scheme a,a,b
  • meter 8/8/3
  • last line of each stanza includes a compound word using the same stem
    e.g. footsore, footstool, footage; OR underfoot; pussyfoot etc
  • poem’s title includes the stem word

36 Comments Add yours

  1. Gillena Cox's avatar Gillena Cox says:

    “blushing tells me awake; I’m stillnot asleep”

    s beautiful description of the sleep deprived

    much love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Gillena many thanks <3

      Like

  2. Carol anne's avatar Carol anne says:

    that was awesome Li 😍😍 could really relate to it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Thanks much, CA.

      Like

  3. bruce@ssa's avatar bruce@ssa says:

    This pretty much describes how I felt when I had a bout of insomnia a few years ago. It is a strange place to be in when you haven’t slept in 24 hours, and you feel like you’ll never get to sleep again. I can relate to this as well, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Bruce, very sorry for anyone with insomnia. The night before I took Dotty in I had it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Grace's avatar Grace says:

    You captured this, both form and sleeplessness. Hate that tortured sleep-zombied state. Have a good and restful night.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Thanks much, Grace. You also.

      Like

  5. Truedessa's avatar Truedessa says:

    I haven’t tried the compound word verse. I can feel the anguish of trying to sleep. Some nights are like that for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Truedessa, I’m struggling with it a little. Maybe more practice will help. Sorry you have suffered with sleeplessness. Most nights I sleep ok, but some recent events have kept me tossing and turning.

      Like

  6. Awesome poem about the struggles of not being able to sleep…my deep breathing and sound of a fan have been doing the trick for making me sleep, knock on wood!!! Double points for knocking the compound verse form out of the yard! I wrote one for that challenge and it was hideous…lol So you have my respect for the form and the content! Well Done Lisa!!! 💚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Cara, your comment makes my night. I have started adding nettle leaf tea to my nightly mixture. Not only does it make me sleep deeper but oh my the dreams are filling the REM.

      I am not happy with either of the compound verse poems I wrote but haven’t quite given up on the form yet. I like the challenge. Thanks so much for your kindness.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. kim881's avatar kim881 says:

    I am familiar with ‘pink dawn’s new light’, Lisa, although I have recently discovered Magnesium, and it’s beginning to work. I won’t miss meandering consciousness and being ‘sleep-zombied’… soon?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Happy to hear you’ve found a remedy, Kim.

      Like

  8. Sadje's avatar Sadje says:

    Lovely poem Li

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Thanks, Sadje <3

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje's avatar Sadje says:

        You’re very welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  9. rothpoetry's avatar rothpoetry says:

    Nicely done, Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Dwight, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rothpoetry's avatar rothpoetry says:

        You are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Unknown's avatar Anonymous says:

    Another poem on sleeplessness, so cleverly done. I hope you sleep well tonight!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oops, that was me, I forgot to log in!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Thanks so much, Freya :)

      Like

  11. ahh Lisa – this style suits you! the poem carries the frustration of insomnia but still quite gently.

    “pink dawn’s new light creeps darkness’ hill” – this line is pure poetry

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      <3 Thanks so much, Laura.

      Like

  12. Nicely done to form, Li. Sleepless nights are the worst!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Jennifer, thanks much. Yes, they are :(

      Like

  13. Dale's avatar Dale says:

    Beautifully written, Lisa. And sadly, something I can totally understand, too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Dale, dear, sorry to hear insomnia gets to you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale's avatar Dale says:

        Not as bad now, thankully

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Sunra Rainz's avatar Sunra Rainz says:

    I love the fragmented nature of your poem, Lisa. It suits the sleepless / not quite awake mental state of half-thoughts. I especially enjoyed “sleep-zombies” and he rhyme with “schism” and “hers and hism.” 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li says:

      Nina, thanks so much for your feedback. I like the way you see it <3

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sunra Rainz's avatar Sunra Rainz says:

        You’re welcome, Lisa 🤍

        Liked by 1 person

  15. kaykuala's avatar kaykuala says:

    make a pact, a blessed covenant
    walk as lovers, not sprint and grunt
    sound asleep…

    Sleeplessness is a tortuous encounter, a pact would be most welcomed! Great that you presented it in a designated form Lisa!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  16. memadtwo's avatar memadtwo says:

    I know the feeling…(K)

    Like

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