dverse · poetry · relationships · triquain · Uncategorized

Paradise

siren 17

Siren 17

At dverse poetry pub tonight, Amaya is bartending and has challenged us to build something and to be sure to use a secret ingredient.  Not sure if it will rise or fall, but my attempt is in the form of a triquain crown , which is 5 of the triquain strung together.  I am 100% open to any comments, feedback, critique, etc., as always!  No idea if I captured the idea of a secret ingredient or not, but Anaya, I appreciate the challenge and the poems that were posted as examples.

 

Raw canvas,

Standard pattern pinned out,

Cut along lines; don’t forget battens!

Lions, tigers, and bears – and a fuzzy ducky.

Mainsail’s design in primary hues,

All stainless steel fittings,

Sewn just so.

*

Who knew that

Fiberglass was a god?

Small cabin with windows; centerboard.

The choice of a consumable rudder, in light

Of our radioactive ballast

Was perhaps ill-chosen?

O, Onward!

*

We managed

To leave shore with no wind

Using the Seagull+ (with no spare tank).

Southwest breezes propelled us from Snug Harbor to

Fisherman’s Landing. Warmed to the core.

Morn to dusk. The wind died.

We drifted.

*

We tried oars;

Paddling in circles;

Black, no moon or stars to navigate.

Water lapping joined by a hungry sturgeon’s crunch

Of rudder and morning’s hope of wind

To get our boat ashore.

S.O.S.

*

Now trailered

At the roadside, “For Sale”,

Split ballast moved to two store ‘n locks.

What remains are propelling breezes and warm cores,

Each in our separate latitudes,

When Jimmy Buffet sings,

Paradise.”

 

+British Seagull

37 thoughts on “Paradise

    1. I used poetic license but most of the story is true. We didn’t lose the rudder (but a rudder with no wind or engine is useless), but the time we took it out we didn’t have the Seagull at that point, so there were only oars and we did paddle in a circle. It wasn’t Lake MI but an inland lake. The picture with it is like the boat that now sits out in the field…

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    1. Thank you. It is regretful in many ways, the boat going, thanks for your understanding. The title of the poem sounds familiar but don’t think I ever read it. Another one to check out!

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    1. Thank you, Brendan, very much. As a person conditioned to play it safe all of the time, the boat was both of those things. The poem was also supposed to be a metaphor for the relationship between my partner and I, but not sure if it came across clearly or not. Probably not.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. To be stranded in a boat without any way back must be so frightening… but a boat you anchor in a bay is also a small paradise… We have kayaks instead which means that we are mostly ready to leave… I think the only thing that can stop us would be strong winds in high seas… hope you find a new way to experience paradise.

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    1. Thank you for your thoughtful response. For a person who tends towards claustrophobic anyway, the feeling of being trapped wasn’t pleasant. Kayaks sound like a good alternative for being on the water. Many people seen on the smaller lakes stay close to shore and can step out at any time.

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  2. Oh so, “Each in our separate latitudes” is the key to understanding the full meaning. I enjoyed how the shape of the poem, by linking together multiple cinquains, formed a rise and lull like sailing up and over waves. Even if it was only then and not now. I wonder the visual equivalent to a shipwreck then, or the old boat, bored and roadside? Maybe “Jimmy Buffett.” Haha, no offense.

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    1. Yes and tried to say it with a consumable rudder and radioactive ballast that was separated at the end. Your observations are so helpful and appreciated, about the shape being like rise and lull, and the shipwreck and the ship’s abandonment. The part about being reminded of paradise is in tribute to a Steve Earle song, “Goodbye”. again thank you for your feedback!

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    1. It was more fear and helplessness. The person I was with I trusted as a sailor — that sounds very strange to type — and then to discover it wasn’t so. And yes, haven’t seen the movie, but you had better have long-term trust with anyone you sail with; you just never know…

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