Sarah is hosting d’Verse this evening. Sarah says:
Tonight, I want you to write about a harbinger.
My offering tonight to meet the prompt is in the form of a double etheree.
Each
night you
stay after
work like I do
and meander to
my work area. You
pretend to seek my cube mate,
but she always leaves right on time.
Bantering back and forth about songs,
ages, commitments, futures; door stays closed.
I hear you found work in her City, State.
I burn, “Biograph*”, a parting gift
for your drive across the country,
with contact info inside.
You’re gone for months, happy,
as facebook displays.
Then, word comes that,
alone, you’re
coming
back.
The form works really well here, taking us forward, but ack to the beginning at the same time. I hope it works out for them!
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Thank you, Sarah, glad you like it.
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I like the play and progression of time in this poem. From one Jade to another, well done! 🙂
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Thank you, Jade 🙂 Glad you liked it.
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Oh, burn. I think we’ve all that experience. I used to say “What am I, chopped liver? lol.
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lol yep
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The form! The narrative! They play so well together in this poetic sandbox. Your very careful word choices fill this with subtleties that scream and whisper. Also love the irony of the journey music 🙂 Nice job, Jade!
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::blushing:: I’m very happy you picked up on those subtleties. Thank you.
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Send them away listening to you thoughts ie music.. Great job!! nice write too!!!
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Thanks Violet yep 🙂
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You have written another wonderful poem. I loved the story, where it took me and then back again. Great job Lisa 💕
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Very kind words, Christine, thank you 🙂
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A great read. Loved the tale you told.
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glad you enjoyed it, Sadje
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You’re welcome. 😊
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The double etheree fits the story well, Jade, and I really like the shape of this poem and a possible happy ending.
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Thank you, Kim, it seemed like a good time to tell the story.
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Nice description: “happy,
as facebook displays.”
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thank you, Frank. everybody’s happy in facebook world
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New meaning to the words “over and back.” Had never heard of this form…looked it up. I learn so much at dVerse! The form worked very well with the content here!
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Thank you, lillian, I’m glad you noticed how the form fit the content 🙂 Yes, I learn every time I visit dVerse and I’m loving every bit of it.
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Me too!
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Love the storytelling… it’s sad for those who try their wings in vain… but also good to be able to land again by going back.
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Thank you for your comments, Bjorn. Yes it is.
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I love the form you used, and the feeling of time moving forward and backward.
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Thank you. Glad you liked the form and construction 🙂
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Nicely crafted! A happy ending, I hope?
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Thank you! Long story…..
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Very engaging write Jade, likedtge arrowhead…
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Thank you, Rob 🙂
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Enjoyed this delicious narrative – slice of life, beware the rebound. 🙂
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happy you enjoyed it. slice of life indeed
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I loved this narrative in the double etheree–a whole story in a few well-chosen words.I recently listened to an episode of This American Life that was on real life stories that were like “rom-coms.” This would have fit.
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Thank you for the feedback, Merril. This was probably a combination of “rom-com” and the Jerry Springer Show 😉
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Hahahaha
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you pull us in gently and make us part of the journey, the form works so well with your story – lovely Jade
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Thank you, Gina, for your feedback. I’m glad you felt pulled into the journey and felt the form fit it.
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Love what you did here sometimes overt, sometimes subtle…amazing Li!
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Your feedback is very much appreciated, thank you! Didn’t consciously do it, but you’re right. Thanks for seeing it 🙂
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You are so welcome. ❤️
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