
A Tale of Two Chickens
A small hut set high at the foot of Tien
Sheltered Lu, his wife, Li, and their infant, Shenyen
They fished, they grew rice, ate eggs from their hens.
Days of labor met nights with sweet song winter wren
Chickens’ ways varied if in or out of their pen.
When in, each hen favored nests and roosters
Out, hens switched nests and were chased by all suitors
Nests filled with eggs and the humans ate well.
One winter’s midnight, attacked by a cougar
Scattered the flock, some escaped, some did not
Mimi and Oso flew ’til they found a dark spot
Li and Lu’s winter blue there were fewer
Fluffed in cave’s corner, not frozen, not hot
Mimi and Osho pecked scraps from the bone
Piles left by grizzly in between stones
From chaff blown in made a cozy spot
New life, new ways was what they now owned
And from these things, new life was made in fresh eggs
Mimi crooned, was at peace, and dreamed of nutmeg
Oso’s talons grew sharper, protective skills honed
Then it began, chicks hatched without end
Peep fuzzies, morning sun’s warmer weather
By the thaw all dozen had feathers
Loved by their parents, learned light was a friend.
Spring on the mountain brought bees with the heather
Chicks learned tasty food played in the sun
Now in the open they learned how to run
As they traveled Tien together
Bjorn is the host of dVerse today. Bjorn says:
[T]oday I want you to invent new metaphors, try to surprise, combine them and paint your emotions or feelings in the you like (which is actually a cliche in itself). Do not hesitate to make them complex.
The poem is quatrain form with an envelope rhyme scheme of abba, bccb, cddc, deed, etc.
Image: “Rooster, Hen and Chicks” by Shoson Ohara

It is amazing how tragedy can lead to a happy ending.
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Yes, Frank. I love that overview <3
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Oh what happened is this…with me its always complicated! I couldn’t post to any one’s blog…I grabbed yours by mistake and it went through…now I’m able to post comments anywhere. Your blog fixed me lol. Sorry
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Cool. I deleted those other comments. Glad your comments are working again. WP has a ghost in the machine, I swear.
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I know…thank you
Speaking of WP…dang block format. I’m starting a new blog just about baseball (talkingaboutbaseball.com)…and guess what? You have to use the block…no choice anymore when you start new… In a couple of years we will have no choice….I had to vent
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You’re welcome. Oh really? Ugh! Well you have a jump on it being a geek and all. I will know who to ask for assistance when that forced switch comes to all WP blogs. Congrats on starting another blog, Max! Don’t be offended if I don’t follow it, ok?
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I’m learning slowing
No I will not be at all. It would be like me following a Polka Music blog lol.
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lmao, I love that comparison. It would be difficult for me to choose one or the other of those two.
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lol
It’s probably foolish because I do everything I can to keep mine going but…there is some stuff that would not go over in powerpop…like why I like the prospects of the Dodgers…so I’m trying it. Just a post every now and then.
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Good for you! I’m probably not continuing the coloring into 2020. I’ve enjoyed the year of coloring, but I want to invest that time in other art or writing. I’m planning on entering a local writing contest where one of the money prizes is $500, and runner-ups get published in an anthology.
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I’ll miss it and the music selections that go with it also… but that is cool! You need to Lisa…just keep at it. You very well could win…getting published is what it’s all about.
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I may continue the music and might recycle the colorings. The contest wants 3000 words, which is 10 pages. Longer than flash fiction for sure. Thank you for your support.
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Wow that is a lot of words…tell me how it goes.
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One of the conditions of the contest is that it cannot be published anywhere for the first year. AND they hold half of the publishing rights (but say they won’t try to publish for profit). I don’t understand all that, but if I can earn $500 for a story, I’ll take it, even if they keep 1/2 publishing right.
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The most important thing is you could use it in a portfolio to show other magazines or whatever to publish more and get known…yea the 500 is not bad either!
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Cool yes :)
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on another subject, guess what I went and saw today at the theater?
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What did you see?
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Ad Astra
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Yes! Was it any good?
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YES! What I told my son is “for an introspective movie, there sure is a lot going on in it.”
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Bailey and I have been talking about seeing it.
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If you like space movies you’ll like it. It is a fairly straightforward plot. It’s low-key but high tension in some spots.
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Love space movies.
Btw…we plan to watch the Magnificent 7…the newer one this weekend.
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I expected you did. And cool on newer TM7
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Did you know Brad Pitt has his own production company now, Plan B? Plan B produced this, I think. I saw “Plan B” up on the screen.
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No I didn’t know that. That is cool. He is a good actor…
That is the smart thing to do…you can control more of what goes on.
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I’ve read a couple of good interviews with him recently. Him getting clean since his divorce has been good for him. I believe a lot of what he says in this movie isn’t just lines from a script. If you see it, you’ll know what I mean.
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Yea I read where he is sober now. I never knew he had a problem…
I’m looking forward to seeing it.
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This such a cute story… bringing chickens and chicks to life! Love it!
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Thank you very much, Dwight.
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This is a feel good story – good journeys for all!
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Thank you, Grace!
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a charming story with a delightful end :)
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Thank you, Kate :)
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welcome Lisa
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A charming tale with both metaphor and moral, Jade!
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Thank you so much, Kim :)
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😊
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This is great!
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:)
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🙏
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I sense, for me, the yin-yang life balance in all its glory and challenge.
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:)
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Through tragedy, they escaped their confines and discovered a new, more abundant way of living.
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Yes they did. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Fatima.
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Great tale! So many meanings popped in my head and I wasn’t sure what to say. I’m glad for survival.
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Thanks Astrid, glad you enjoyed it.
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What a sweet dear story. I love chickens, but we can’t have them in our neighborhood.
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Thank you, Linda :)
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Life lessons are contained within this story … lessons of facing adversity, adapting to change, and finding good times once more.
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Beverly thank you for your thoughtful comment. I was trying to construct a story about me and my ex if things could have been different.
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I love this storytelling, and the building of a family like this works well… it made me think of Aesop and his fables…. I was almost expecting a concluding stanza telling us the lessons to be learned from the tale, in which case the story in itself is a metaphor for something larger.
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Bjorn, thank you for the comments and the suggestion. Maybe you’ll see it tweaked with an added stanza at some point.
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Excellent use of metaphor Lisa! Creatively conceived, and very effective! Like a fable as Björn commented.
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Rob thanks and glad you enjoyed it.
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Circle of life stuff, fun.
(Sorry, I’m a bit late in reviewing this challenge)
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So glad you liked it. Happy you got to it, no apologies needed.
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I really liked this – I’m a sucker for a good story – there’s that problematic word good again! Applied to story aside from the elements of craft good, for me, means a tale embedded with some sort of wisdom. This one has all kinds of lessons about embracing change, not fearing the wild, adapting to new circumstances with a good attitude. On top of that you’ve somehow captured the colors of that Chineses painting with your imagery – there’s a softness to the piece, even though you speak of grizzlies, cougars and bones, that reflects those soft yet vibrant yellows, greens and reds.
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Christine, so pleased you enjoyed it and I like your feedback as to why, thank you!
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