grey skies seep black
black silhouettes
silhouettes of
of rippling dark
grey skin, red eyes
eyes that see all
all color drained
drained from your soul
when you hurt her
her of black skin
skin shining warm
warm morning sun
her smile died then
then she knew why
why you killed it
it gave her will
you’ll never know
know your dear son
son of beauty
beauty despite
he’ll never know
know his father
father rapist
rapist monster
gone away now
now worlds away
away from black
black is her color
she watches him
him bright morning
morning he plays
plays, says, “Momma!”
the sun is warm
warm on their skin
skin raises up
up in their smiles
Loop Poetry is a poetry form created by Hellon. There are no restrictions on the number of stanzas nor on the syllable count for each line. In each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two, last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3, last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4. This is followed for each stanza. The rhyme scheme is abcb. [I chose no rhyme scheme in mine.]
Anmol (alias HA) is today’s host of dVerse. Anmol says:
I am prompting you to think of what comes to your mind when you picture ‘Black’. Think of what it means to you or what it stands for. You can venture into different areas like identity, materialism, personal experiences, physics, et al. as well. Or you can simply incorporate the word ‘black’ in your title and poem.
image link here
Tao Talk 
I really enjoyed the emphatic essence of this poetry style Lisa, and you executed it well! 🙂
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Rob, thank you.
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You and I touched on the same Muse–blackness as human, empathy, love. This form is interesting, but the loops pry me a bit away from the message; just saying.
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Thanks for the feedback, Glenn.
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I like the smiles at the end.
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Thank you, Frank.
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I find the form interesting. But I doubt I shall ever write to it. With my dyslexia, it is too distracting. Just saying.
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Thanks for the feedback, Toni. It’s appreciated!
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I am with Rob.
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Thank you, Roslyn.
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Searingly honest and raw! Bravo!
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Frank, thank you very much.
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Poignant, honest, sad reality, but smiles still can happen! Beautiful poem!
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Mary thank you very much.
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I think the form works well to highlight the transformation of the blackness. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe. Now that you say that, the black does transform!
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It definitely does.
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A beautiful poem Jade!
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Thank you, Dwight. I just read yours and agree with what you said. Black-white, yin-yang, wax-wane….
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yes!
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Beautiful verses.
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Thank you, Sadje.
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You’re welcome Li.
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Thank you for introducing me to loop poetry, Jade, and for this poignant and tragic story. I like the way these lines are echoed in the final stanza
‘skin shining warm
warm morning sun’.
Something good born of something bad.
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Exactly, Kim. Glad you liked the loop form.
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It’s such a raw story and your telling is made effective by the form. Those word repetitions make it seem like a sad song. I too like the sun and the smiles of the final stanza. 🙂
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Thank you, Anmol, I appreciate your comments and feedback 🙂
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Finding beauty, even from the darkest source. Well done.
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Thank you very much, Ken.
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The story telling in this tale is great and tells of a darkness that is not of skin… the form make it sound like an incantation
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Thank you very much, Bjorn. Kerfe noticed that the darkness was transformed so in a way it was an alchemical incantation.
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I very much liked the essence of the poem, but the looping style distracted me.
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Thank you, Beverly. Glad you enjoyed the essence and thanks for the feedback on the form.
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Jade, your poem is perfused with attuned sensations; playful but painfully incisive. I love it, and its lyricism reminds me of Zeca Veloso – Todo Homem, a Brazilian song. Although you may not understand the lyrics, I urge you to give it a listen. It is a beautiful melody, and the refrain means “every man needs a mother”, which should be encouragement enough!
As always, your presence exults me.
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Joao-Maria, your linking my poem to that exquisite song’s lyricism humbles me. I just listened to it and and have included it here (with translation, thanks to Google translator) for others to appreciate. Thank you so much and likewise on your presence ❤
EVERY MAN
(Zeca Veloso)
The sun
Flower and salt morning
And sand in the lipstick
Lighthouse
Miss you on the clothesline
Red, blue, brown
I am
The umbilical cord
For me it's never good
And the sun
Burning my newspaper
My voice, my light, my sound
Every man needs a mother
Every man needs a mother
The sky
Apple Foam
Belly, two brothers
My
Hair, black wool
Nose and face and hands
The honey
The silver, the gold and the frog
Head and heart
And the sky
Opens in the morning
In shelter, in lap, on floor
Every man needs a mother
Every man needs a mother
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What an interesting form! I’d not heard of it and you handled it well.
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Thanks, Lillian, glad you think so 🙂
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Interesting style Lisa I found it captivating to read the form didn’t distract me well written.
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Thank you, Rob. I thought the form was perfect for what I wanted to say.
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