her wings
opened slowly
silent creaks needing oil
midday sunset flames aglow
black-framed
confident flaps to fluttering
now lifts, carried sideways
tilting madly
airborne
Bjorn is today’s host of dVerse. Bjorn says:
Today I would like you to try using different types of assonance and consonance in any poem of your choice. Try to listen to how it sounds, and see how you can enhance the connection between the letter you use and the meaning of the poem. Maybe you can add the beat of the poem with accentuated alliteration.
Todays poem is in the form of a butterfly cinquain. The butterfly Cinquain is nine lines with a 2-4-6-8-2-8-6-4-2 syllable count and when centered, creates a butterfly appearance.
beautiful
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Thank you.
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What a lovely “birth of a butterfly”! Beautifully written.
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Thanks, Beverly. I enjoyed your poem as well.
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Your words flutter with grace. Sweet and effervescent. Butterflies seem to be the inspiration, just read Beverly’s poem.
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Gina, thank you.
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You’ve captured the delicate flutter of tentative wings so beautifully Lisa 🥰
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Aw thank you very much, Christine. I just love watching butterflies when they rest and open and close their wings slowly.
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My pleasure 🥰
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Love it and love the formation as well! Well done Lisa!
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Dwight thank you 🙂
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You are welcome!
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This is so beautiful, Li.
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Thank you, Punam!
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You are welcome.
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A lovely poem Li.
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Thank you, and I also found an old photo I took from my facebook years to go with it.
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Wonderful.
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You combined the two formats together so well.
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Thanks Reena, glad you like it.
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i love the use of powerful words to create the feeling of having brakes!
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🙂
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I love the ‘silent creaks needing oil’, Jade, and the final lines convey the unsteadiness of a butterfly taking off:
‘tilting madly
airborne’.
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Thank you, Kim!
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I like the description of those wings with “silent creaks needing oil”.
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Thank you, Frank!
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As usual, your form is absolutely aligned with your message. I love the journey as the wings open til finally airborne. Such exquisite detail.
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Thanks Victoria, glad you enjoyed the butterfly 🙂
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kaykuala
now lifts, carried sideways
tilting madly airborne
One can almost be experience the feeling of being airborne as well, Jade! Nicely did it!
Hank
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Hank thank you and so glad you enjoyed her flight 🙂
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Oh so sweet a poem and powerful too ❤
I adore your new photo!
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Lael very glad you enjoyed the poem, thanks, and glad you like the photo just getting back from the hairdresser. My hair only looks that good just then 🙂
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I have the same issue! The rest of the time my style is “she tried” ha ha.
Your photo feels very wild woman, like your joyful essence is being beautifully captured ❤
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Lael what a wonderful comment ❤
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I love how you you described the flaps and fluttering… a lovely start of butterfly’s short life
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Thank you, Bjorn, glad you enjoyed them.
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I often marvel at butterflies — especially when I see one flying over a large expanse of water such as a lake. Their wings are so thin, and their muscles are so small, and their flight is often so buffeted by the wind and yet “carried sideways — tilting madly” they manage to travel HUNDREDS of miles!!! Your photo and your poem are both lovely. Thank you for sharing them with all of us.
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Yes, Will, they are works of engineering marvel. So glad you enjoyed reading and the photo. Thank you.
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This is beautiful, Li. I learnt a new poetry form too, today – butterfly cinquain, thank you. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Kitty 🙂
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You are welcome, Li. 🙂
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“Confident flaps to fluttering” – a motion I can see and feel. Love this, Lisa! Like the form as well.
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Glad you enjoyed them, Sara.
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😃
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