dVerse — alliteration (assonance & consonance) — airborne

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her wings
opened slowly
silent creaks needing oil
midday sunset flames aglow
black-framed
confident flaps to fluttering
now lifts, carried sideways
tilting madly
airborne

Bjorn is today’s host of dVerse.  Bjorn says:
Today I would like you to try using different types of assonance and consonance in any poem of your choice. Try to listen to how it sounds, and see how you can enhance the connection between the letter you use and the meaning of the poem. Maybe you can add the beat of the poem with accentuated alliteration.

Todays poem is in the form of a butterfly cinquainThe butterfly Cinquain is nine lines with a 2-4-6-8-2-8-6-4-2 syllable count and when centered, creates a butterfly appearance.

 

44 Comments Add yours

  1. Beverly Crawford says:

    What a lovely “birth of a butterfly”! Beautifully written.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Beverly. I enjoyed your poem as well.

      Like

  2. Gina says:

    Your words flutter with grace. Sweet and effervescent. Butterflies seem to be the inspiration, just read Beverly’s poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Gina, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You’ve captured the delicate flutter of tentative wings so beautifully Lisa 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Aw thank you very much, Christine. I just love watching butterflies when they rest and open and close their wings slowly.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. rothpoetry says:

    Love it and love the formation as well! Well done Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Dwight thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rothpoetry says:

        You are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is so beautiful, Li.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Punam!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Sadje says:

    A lovely poem Li.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, and I also found an old photo I took from my facebook years to go with it.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Reena Saxena says:

    You combined the two formats together so well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks Reena, glad you like it.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. i love the use of powerful words to create the feeling of having brakes!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. kim881 says:

    I love the ‘silent creaks needing oil’, Jade, and the final lines convey the unsteadiness of a butterfly taking off:
    ‘tilting madly
    airborne’.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Kim!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Frank Hubeny says:

    I like the description of those wings with “silent creaks needing oil”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Frank!

      Liked by 2 people

  11. As usual, your form is absolutely aligned with your message. I love the journey as the wings open til finally airborne. Such exquisite detail.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks Victoria, glad you enjoyed the butterfly 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  12. hank77 says:

    kaykuala

    now lifts, carried sideways
    tilting madly airborne

    One can almost be experience the feeling of being airborne as well, Jade! Nicely did it!

    Hank

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Hank thank you and so glad you enjoyed her flight 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Lael-Heart says:

    Oh so sweet a poem and powerful too ❤
    I adore your new photo!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Lael very glad you enjoyed the poem, thanks, and glad you like the photo just getting back from the hairdresser. My hair only looks that good just then 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lael-Heart says:

        I have the same issue! The rest of the time my style is “she tried” ha ha.
        Your photo feels very wild woman, like your joyful essence is being beautifully captured ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Lael what a wonderful comment ❤

          Like

  14. I love how you you described the flaps and fluttering… a lovely start of butterfly’s short life

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Bjorn, glad you enjoyed them.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. willedare says:

    I often marvel at butterflies — especially when I see one flying over a large expanse of water such as a lake. Their wings are so thin, and their muscles are so small, and their flight is often so buffeted by the wind and yet “carried sideways — tilting madly” they manage to travel HUNDREDS of miles!!! Your photo and your poem are both lovely. Thank you for sharing them with all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, Will, they are works of engineering marvel. So glad you enjoyed reading and the photo. Thank you.

      Like

  16. kittysverses says:

    This is beautiful, Li. I learnt a new poetry form too, today – butterfly cinquain, thank you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you so much, Kitty 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kittysverses says:

        You are welcome, Li. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  17. “Confident flaps to fluttering” – a motion I can see and feel. Love this, Lisa! Like the form as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Glad you enjoyed them, Sara.

      Like

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