Jim Adams is the research-loving host of Mindlovemisery Menagerie’s Music Challenges. Jim says:
The challenge today is to focus on this “The Race is On” and use it for inspiration in any form of creative expression.
Lyrics from the song, “written by Don Rollins and first recorded as a demo by Jimmie Gray in 1961” are:
I feel tears wellin’ up
Cold and deep inside
Like my heart’s sprung a big break
And a stab of loneliness sharp and painful
That I may never shake
You might say that I was takin’ it hard
Oh,
But don’t you wager that I’ll hide the sorrow
When I may break right down and bawl
Well, the race is on
And here comes pride up the backstretch
Heartaches are goin’ to the inside
My tears are holdin’ back
They’re tryin’ not to fall
My heart’s out of the runnin’
True love’s scratched for another’s sake
The race is on and it looks like heartache
And the winner loses all
One day I ventured in love
Never once suspectin’
What the final result would be
How I lived in fear of wakin’ up each mornin’
Findin’ that you’re gone from me
There’s ache and pain in my heart
For today was the one I hated to face
Somebody new came up to win her
I wound up in second place
Well, the race is on
And here comes pride up the backstretch
Heartaches are goin’ to the inside
My tears are holdin’ back
They’re tryin’ not to fall
My heart’s out of the runnin’
True love’s scratched for another’s sake
The race is on and it looks like heartache
And the winner loses all
I decided to try an erasure poem on this to see what would shake out. I “bolded” the words I wanted to keep, then composed the poem with the bolded words at the end.
I feel tears wellin’ up
Cold and deep inside
Like my heart’s sprung a big break
And a stab of loneliness sharp and painful
That I may never shake
You might say that I was takin’ it hard
Oh,
But don’t you wager that I’ll hide the sorrow
When I may break right down and bawl
Well, the race is on
And here comes pride up the backstretch
Heartaches are goin’ to the inside
My tears are holdin’ back
They’re tryin’ not to fall
My heart’s out of the runnin’
True love’s scratched for another’s sake
The race is on and it looks like heartache
And the winner loses all
One day I ventured in love
Never once suspectin’
What the final result would be
How I lived in fear of wakin’ up each mornin’
Findin’ that you’re gone from me
There’s ache and pain in my heart
For today was the one I hated to face
Somebody new came up to win her
I wound up in second place
Well, the race is on
And here comes pride up the backstretch
Heartaches are goin’ to the inside
My tears are holdin’ back
They’re tryin’ not to fall
My heart’s out of the runnin’
True love’s scratched for another’s sake
The race is on and it looks like heartache
And the winner loses all
The erasure poem:
tears cold
heart’s stab
painful shake
hard oh
don’t hide sorrow
break down, bawl
race, pride up
heartaches
tears tryin’ to fall out
love’s scratched race
winner loses
ventured love
never suspectin’
final result
lived fear
you’re gone
ache and pain
hated to face
somebody new
wound up
on backstretch
goin’ inside
back
fall
runnin’
true love’s
scratched heart
lose all
image is “Deliberation” by Mario Sanchez Novato
So that is how the erasure poem works. Very nice, I like it.
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Thanks. It was my first erasure poem.
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It looked like you had a lot of fun with this song and your poem was magnificent.
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I did and thanks 🙂
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Awesome 😀 really good!
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Thanks!
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I had never heard of this form, but truly enjoyed what you did with it.
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Thank you, Violet! Cherry picking the words and phrases that jump out is fun.
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I like your distillation. (K)
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Thank you! George makes it sound like an “up” song with his voice, but it’s a sad song.
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