dVerse — Poetics — imprint

on
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3d/Lagrenee_-_Echo_and_Narcissus.jpg/574px-Lagrenee_-_Echo_and_Narcissus.jpg
“Echo and Narcissus” by Louis-Jean-François Lagrenée

 

Pulled up to the empty parking lot of the restaurant.
Amend that, empty except for one giant Yamaha crotch rocket
and a man, standing off to the side, looking at the back patio.
His back turned so I could get a long look at his long frame
in his tan dress pants and matching tan plaid dress shirt.
Like a baby duck imprinting on a human, I imprinted that day.

I followed him restaurant to restaurant that Sunday.
In these-here parts, so many close down on the Lord’s Day of rest.
Not the little smoke-choke dive bars though. They seem open 24/7.
It’s where we sat at a small rickety table and talked for hours.
He laid out every sin he’d committed – or so he said at the time –
So there wouldn’t be surprises later. He was sincere and handsome.

I continued to follow him anywhere, like an innocent baby duck,
even when he turned into a hungry wolf, plucking my feathers
one by one with his utilitarian teeth and chilling contorted smile.
His voice saying, “Hello, Lisa,” in a deep bass croon, shivered me.
The words and timber remained, but the shiver changed to terror.
His twin, the Yamaha, elicited a similar shift, when he came home.

 

 

Today’s guest host — and one of the founding members of dVerse — is Brian Miller.  Brian says:
Today, I want you to capture a moment in your verse. Clearly describe to us what is in that moment. Paint a picture for us with your words that will evoke our own emotions and experiences. If you need to, find a picture and write about it. Maybe you have a favorite photograph you want to share. If not, write us the picture, so we can see it, taste it, smell it.

48 Comments Add yours

  1. Well that certainly took a turn there in the end. The duck metaphor works especially when he is ripping out the feathers with his teeth. Its an interesting parallel to the motorcycle in the closing lines. I certainly hope u escaped.

    Brian

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Brian at least part of me did. Also, I wanted to tell you I’ve tried 3 times to make comment in the pub but it doesn’t seem to want to take them. Glad to meet you and express appreciation for the space you’ve created at the dverse pub. It’s been a joy to participate there. Thank you and Cheers!

      Like

  2. Sadje says:

    A chilling story Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sadje. This one was a tough one to write.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        I can imagine.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Nothing quite like an honest, open relationship, no matter how scary.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. He told you of his sins… and then did it again. That lure of a handsome man (or maybe woman) changes us all to ducklings… agree with Brian on the feathers

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Bjorn. You know where I’m coming from.

      Like

  5. Carol anne says:

    Wow Lisa! This is chilling! could feel every chilling detail! 💕😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Carol anne.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. sanaarizvi says:

    This is so poignant! I could visualize every detail!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sanaa 🙂

      Like

  7. Grace says:

    This is dark and chilling write, yikes. Thankfully things turn out well for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks Grace

      Like

  8. Beverly Crawford says:

    A poignant word picture of the trusting baby duck and the plucking of its feathers, all of it tied with the cursed Yamaha. Riveting write.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Beverly. It was difficult to put this into words and share it.

      Like

  9. Yikes! What a tale you’ve spun. Absolutely riveting. Definitely unforgettable!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      What’s bad is it was a cherished memory that turned into a flashback and is now a mixture of the two 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a shame. Sounds like a perfect fantasy in the beginning.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Glenn A. Buttkus says:

    Love and lust and loneliness creates harness and blinders, all leather straps and deep kisses–but when the blinders come off, the stark unforgiving light exposes all blemishes and traits; and truth emerges from the sultry haze.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Very well-said, Glenn. Tough choices when the blinders come off 😦

      Like

  11. Miriam E. says:

    Oh wow, this made me shiver – a though one to write I can imagine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, very tough as I had it tucked away for a bit.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Lucy says:

    Wow, so chilling and haunting!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. memadtwo says:

    Even when we see it we can ignore it… but not forever. Several people said chilling and I feel that too. (K)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Good way of putting it, K. Exactly. It was an incremental encroachment that reached critical mass, then there I was a plucked duckling, shivering in the chill. What was worst is that things were ramping up as retirement approached and I also had to contend with the slimy boss. Glad all that is done with now.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Sherry Marr says:

    Oh i once knew a toothy fellow like that. Best seen in the rearview mirror. Smiles.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, Sherry, thank you.

      Like

  15. kim881 says:

    Oh Lisa! They draw you in, pluck your feathers and spit you out. Some of us find out the hard way and remember the lesson, others never learn. Never believe a man who offers every sin he’s committed – there are always surprises. I like the way you kept the poem deceptively upbeat, until the chilling end.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Kim thank you for your insightful comment. It felt just like that also, mostly aggravating until the end, when it took a turn. When he knew I was serious about ending it, things turned fast.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. judeitakali says:

    Wow, poignant, I really enjoyed this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Jude.

      Like

  17. Chilling. The poem starts off like the intro to a horror film, and that’s how it ends too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      You know, you’re right. That’s how the horror films usually start 😦

      Like

      1. I think you should do more of this kind of thing 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          I’m working on a novel now that will have something of a chilled nature to it.

          Like

          1. That explains it!

            Liked by 1 person

  18. This is so chilling and leaves the feeling of being exposed. You captured the intensity well Lisa.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Linda, yes exactly.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. calmkate says:

    all said above Lisa, started innocent enough but as the intensity ramped up the ending became chilly … sorry this happened!
    This is just the kind of scenario I wrote today poem “reality” about …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, my friend. Just read your poem and commented.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. rivrvlogr says:

    Wow. What we don’t see… until we wake up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      And even when we wake up we sometimes refuse to see 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  21. lillian says:

    The writing – detailed, graphic, compelling. I am somehow crawling through these words…it is like a flashback to a time so vivid it has burned in my memory. I feel pain and somehow longing at the same time. Longing for a normal and finding this instead….youth (duckling) mistreated by the wolf.
    This is riveting and painful to read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Lillian, it has become a flashback, yes 😦 Thank you for your insightful comment.

      Like

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