dVerse — Poetics 427 — Shine Folly Moon

Party with horse cat and bird

Shine Folly Moon

Chocolate blue, shine folly moon
Pant less after beauty that waxes
and wanes with every blink.
Spring shoots overhead as
Impulsive sea water rises
We must fade away with day
By bare back black ship rum
All crushed shadowy drunk
Tongues swim gorgeous lips
Smooth hips when sad can
Not see some use let me
Be but raw breasts and lust
Wax purple symphony
On our sweat petaled bed
Rocking in deathless waves

 

 

The rough draft came from The Oracle then got tweaked by half.

I am today’s host of dVerse.  I say:
Write a poem using the word folly in it.

55 Comments Add yours

  1. Francis says:

    Goodness me, lovely, dark imagery, nice ending:
    ‘On our sweat petaled bed
    Rocking in deathless waves’.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Francis 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lucy says:

    This is amazing poetry, Lisa. I was blown away here by each word, especially these lines:

    “Spring shoots overhead as
    Impulsive sea water rises
    We must fade away with day
    By bare back black ship rum”

    The rhythm is remarkable, and your penning is always wonderful. So many layers here. I find there’s solemnity and sadness in finding comfort with one another, but inevitably falling to death’s whims as seemingly evinced by the final two lines. I can also see some themes with lust and infatuation entwined in the middle verses. I could be very well wrong with my interpretation here, but either way, this is such a beautifully written piece. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      You have the whims and infatuations right here, Lucy. Glad you enjoyed reading, many thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. sanaarizvi says:

    This is gorgeously worded, Lisa! I especially love; “Impulsive sea water rises/We must fade away with day/By bare back black ship rum.”💝

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Sanaa. I was surprised The Oracle had rum! 🙂

      Like

  4. kim881 says:

    Your poem has pace and rhythm, Lisa, as well as alliteration that almost makes it a tongue twister in places. I especially enjoyed the richness of the lines:
    ‘All crushed shadowy drunk
    Tongues swim gorgeous lips
    Smooth hips…’
    and the sensuous tone of:
    ‘…raw breasts and lust
    Wax purple symphony
    On our sweat petaled bed
    Rocking in deathless waves’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Kim, thank you! I enjoy seeing through your eyes.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I love how you used the dark imagery and yet made it playful… and with that image on the top it almost felt like a hallucination.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Bjorn! There is a thin — or no? — line between hallucination and the madness of infatuation, so perceptive of you.

      Like

  6. lynn__ says:

    So cool…no, hot! Interesting how your process came up with a psychedelic poem, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      The Oracle is the closest thing I can think of to what I would imagine a psychedelic experience would be. I tweaked it into to sense. Glad you enjoyed the read, Lynn. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. rivrvlogr says:

    I like the opening, as if to say, “So what, if it be folly!”
    And then to go on to explain why, with such imagery.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      ha ha! Love your comment, Ken.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. robtkistner says:

    This piece sings dances Lisa. It also rises and falls goes from darkness to light, wonderful variety in imagery and feeling. Well written well written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Rob so glad you enjoyed the dancing fancy of the poem, thank you.

      Like

  9. Ron. says:

    I read it. Then I read it again, out loud. Incantationally mesmerizing work, Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 The Oracle must have been feeling her oats tonight, Ron

      Like

  10. Glenn A. Buttkus says:

    You had me at “let me be raw breasts and lust” . Initially, I felt like you were writing Greenberg “charms”; certainly a different turn and platform for you. A strong poetic for sure, with much noise between the lines.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Glenn, maybe Greenberg was speaking through The Oracle…

      Like

  11. Dora says:

    I love the riddling quality of this poem that draws us to participate in the textures, colors, sensations of inchoate passion. Brilliant as always, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      You are very kind, thank you, my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I love this, the folly of the moon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      A.K.A. The lunacy of lust!

      Like

  13. rothpoetry says:

    Seems you have a couple of themes going here.. Very well done Lisa. An interesting mix of lust and climate change! Hopefully it is only the first that is the folly!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you much, Dwight, and agreed.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. hank77 says:

    kaykuala
    All crushed shadowy drunk
    Tongues swim gorgeous lips
    Smooth hips when sad can

    Love the way you tweaked it to make it somewhat mysterious, Lisa! The above words reflect those feelings.

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Hank. Glad you like the mystery.

      Like

  15. Sadje says:

    Interesting poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sadje 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome Li. I look forward to reading your unique poems and stories

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          🙂 You are appreciated!

          Liked by 1 person

  16. “Impulsive sea water rises
    We must fade away with day”

    I feel the movement throughout this whole poem, but it is great here. And the ending “rocking in deathless waves,” is so poignant! I’m a sucker for the moon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Glad you liked the movement and the ending, Tricia, thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. “Impulsive sea water rises
    We must fade away with day”
    I feel the movement throughout this whole poem, but it is great here. And the ending “rocking in deathless waves,” is so poignant! I’m a sucker for the moon.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Reena Saxena says:

    Beautiful description of the moon

    Chocolate blue, shine folly moon
    Pant less after beauty that waxes
    and wanes with every blink.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Reena, thank you very much.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. calmkate says:

    you’ve woven the tale in your prompt into an exotic rhyme of love lust and death … exceptional work Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Many thanks, Kate.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate says:

        I so enjoyed it …

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Ingrid says:

    I love the alliteration, assonance and rhythm of this poem, Lisa. There is a strong sensuousness and eroticism about it:
    ‘By bare back black ship rum’ – fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 Thank you very much, Ingrid!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I recognised the Oracle in that one immediately!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Channeling Greenberg and the Blue Moon….

      Like

  22. memadtwo says:

    Great collage Jade. And the words are a perfect match, a fevered dream. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Indeed! Thank you very much, K.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. That first line drew me in and then I was in for an imagery laden verse ending dramatically with “Rocking in deathless waves” ! Wow, Li!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Xan says:

    This left me breathless and dizzy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      You must be in love! 😉

      Like

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