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dVerse — Poetics 427 — Shine Folly Moon

Party with horse cat and bird

Shine Folly Moon

Chocolate blue, shine folly moon
Pant less after beauty that waxes
and wanes with every blink.
Spring shoots overhead as
Impulsive sea water rises
We must fade away with day
By bare back black ship rum
All crushed shadowy drunk
Tongues swim gorgeous lips
Smooth hips when sad can
Not see some use let me
Be but raw breasts and lust
Wax purple symphony
On our sweat petaled bed
Rocking in deathless waves

 

 

The rough draft came from The Oracle then got tweaked by half.

I am today’s host of dVerse.  I say:
Write a poem using the word folly in it.

55 thoughts on “dVerse — Poetics 427 — Shine Folly Moon

  1. This is amazing poetry, Lisa. I was blown away here by each word, especially these lines:

    “Spring shoots overhead as
    Impulsive sea water rises
    We must fade away with day
    By bare back black ship rum”

    The rhythm is remarkable, and your penning is always wonderful. So many layers here. I find there’s solemnity and sadness in finding comfort with one another, but inevitably falling to death’s whims as seemingly evinced by the final two lines. I can also see some themes with lust and infatuation entwined in the middle verses. I could be very well wrong with my interpretation here, but either way, this is such a beautifully written piece. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Your poem has pace and rhythm, Lisa, as well as alliteration that almost makes it a tongue twister in places. I especially enjoyed the richness of the lines:
    ‘All crushed shadowy drunk
    Tongues swim gorgeous lips
    Smooth hips…’
    and the sensuous tone of:
    ‘…raw breasts and lust
    Wax purple symphony
    On our sweat petaled bed
    Rocking in deathless waves’.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You had me at “let me be raw breasts and lust” . Initially, I felt like you were writing Greenberg “charms”; certainly a different turn and platform for you. A strong poetic for sure, with much noise between the lines.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kaykuala
    All crushed shadowy drunk
    Tongues swim gorgeous lips
    Smooth hips when sad can

    Love the way you tweaked it to make it somewhat mysterious, Lisa! The above words reflect those feelings.

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Impulsive sea water rises
    We must fade away with day”

    I feel the movement throughout this whole poem, but it is great here. And the ending “rocking in deathless waves,” is so poignant! I’m a sucker for the moon.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “Impulsive sea water rises
    We must fade away with day”
    I feel the movement throughout this whole poem, but it is great here. And the ending “rocking in deathless waves,” is so poignant! I’m a sucker for the moon.

    Liked by 1 person

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