It was this time of year, when evenings warm and
tadpoles crawl ashore, when your green eyes,
unholy lit, tethered me. Searing me everywhere
your touch lingered, grinning,
your gaze never left mine.
You wanted everything then,
as you smudged me in your filth.
image: “Skin on Skin Love and Burning Passion,” by CORinAZONe
Mish is today’s host for dVerse’ Quadrille. Mish says:
We are writing poems of exactly 44 words, excluding the title BUT it must include a given word. Today, I give you the word …..“smudge“
I love how you went from the idea of sultry passionate nights of love to the filth of the swamp. Such passions are perilous!
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Thank you, Ingrid. It’s just like that, being gently led into a swamp you can’t find your way out of.
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Oooh! An unexpected twist there – gave me a jolt – such energy!
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Sarah, glad it had its intended effect. Thank you for reading and your comment.
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It sounded so wonderful and passionate at first until we see how it went worse in that last line…
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Thanks, Bjorn, it was…
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That last line hit me in a visceral way.
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Thanks for reading and letting me know.
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Very engaging….and an unexpected sharp turn at the end. Nice!
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Thank you, Mish!
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Yes! I love where you took this prompt. Was not expecting that last line, Jade/Li. Well done!
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Susan thank you. After reading some of your poetry, I know you can relate to this one.
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You betcha.
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“When your green eyes, unholy lit, tethered me”–grand word-smithing. You sucker-punched us with your close; loved it.
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Glenn, thank you! Happy to have pleased you with it. ❤
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I agree the ending was a twist in the poem – what a way to be smudged in filth.
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Thank you, Grace. Yes.
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Maybe those “green eyes, unholy lit…” were a clue as to what was to come in that last line! I always love a surprise ending…very nice.
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Bodhirose, yes that was a clue! Thanks for reading and for your comment.
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I love a good poetic gut-punch of a line and you did it with that twist of an ending. So well-written
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Thank you very much!
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Passion and cravings do strange things to our psyche! A great poem and an interesting painting to go with it! They fit together very well!
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Dwight, thank you for your thoughtful comment.
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Wonderfully written Li.
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Thank you, Sadje.
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You’re welcome
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You wanted everything then,
as you smudged me in your filth.
A brilliant way of saying something positive Jade, by employing a negative stance throughout. Your man will see the reflected humour in it and love you for this! Lovely Ma’am!
Hank
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Thank you for a different perspective on the poem, Hank. It’s always interesting to see what others see in the words.
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That ending did surprise! Sounds like a predator, and a seductive one at that!
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Someone who knew exactly what they were doing!
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Must admit, I’ve been smudged, and I have also done the smudging. Strong poem Lisa! 👍
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Ditto! Thank you, Rob!
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whew. that is some turn in the final line ~
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In retrospect it was quite a shock to the system. Thank you for reading and your comment, M.
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the tadpole the filth the passion. this is weaved with such eloquence, Ms. Lisa.
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Thank you, Rosemarie.
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Sensual and delicious and … unless you are a fellow frog or ogre, being led to the swamp is not a good thing 🙂
Beautifully written, Lisa.
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🙂 Thanks much, Dale!
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Pleasure, Lisa!
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You really know how to conjure an ominous tension. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe.
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you know, when I read the word “grinning” my inner voice said, “uh-oh…”
❤
David
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Thanks for reading and your comment, David.
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What a line – ‘as you smudged me in your filth’. Wasn’t expecting that!
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Thanks for reading and commenting, Marion.
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Well done luring us in and then giving us the twist. Your environmental metaphor is well fitting.
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Thank you, TJS!
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Sometimes one doesn’t know what they are in until it’s to late, great how you surprised your readers with the twist.
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Truedessa, thank you. Exactly so.
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oooh Good one! Shows how something can start out so beautiful, and before you know it, it descends into horror. 🙂
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Thank you. Yes, Barbara, for sure!
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I sank into the swampy sludge … great write, Lisa. Thanks for visiting my Quadrille post.
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Helen, thank you, and you are very welcome 🙂 ❤
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Wow! Steamy little piece of writing.
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Thank you, Sara 🙂 I gotta burst out with it from time to time.
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