The locust tree is thinner now
To keep the tree, I made a vow
to trim away from dwelling; though
looks scrawny, wow; looks scrawny, wow!
Tall sister to the short fruit trees
Umbrella-like, like dog sans fleas.
A pest before each time it screeched;
now rustley peeps; now rustley peeps.
A bigger sky around the house
When I look up I see the clouds
instead of just her many boughs
she smiles not scowls, she smiles not scowls
Grace is today’s host for dVerse’ Meeting the Bar. Grace says:
Today’s challenge: To write a poem in monotetra form. You choose your theme, following the stanza structure as described.
Update: Glenn was kind enough to point out that I didn’t follow directions very well by not having every line of every stanza rhyming the same rhyme. I just read Kerfe’s poem and comment and realized what Glenn was saying (at first I thought it was the near-rhymes within the stanza he was talking about.) I will now try and edit the poem with the correct parameters of the form:
The locust tree is thinner now
To keep the tree, I made a vow
to trim away from dwelling; though
looks scrawny, wow; looks scrawny, wow!
When ere to pear sun not allowed
now sharing sunbeams all about.
Before her reaches screeched aloud;
now regal as she wears her crown.
A bigger sky around the house
When I look up I see the clouds
instead of just her many boughs
she smiles not scowls, she smiles not scowls
Tao Talk 
Thank you for introducing me to a new poetry form. I enjoyed visualizing the colorful phrases and smiled with each end line’s repetition.
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Thank you, Gail, happy you enjoyed the poem and the form.
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Strong manipulating of the form; adore poems about trees. Got me confused though with your third lines ending in a different rhyme scheme. I guess I missed something.
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Thank you for the feedback, Glenn. They were more near-rhymes to throw a little curve in there.
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P.S. I now understand what you mean about the rhyming. Monotetra means the same rhyme through each stanza. Thanks for pointing that out. Will try to amend it to be technically correct.
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I love the before and after photos – so tall with many boughs. Yes, she is smiling now.
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Thank you, Grace.
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May all the trees keep growing and may we humans always cherish them, they are our lifeline!
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Yes! What a beautiful prayer.
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The tree still looks good…You can see much better now…you and the tree are happy.
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Thanks, Max. Maybe one of the last stanza’s repetitions is me ;)
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Your lovely tree will thank you for the renewed breath of fresh air!
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:) Yes.
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That last stanza sums it all! 🙂
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Thank you, Punam :)
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You are welcome.
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Great tree story and “casual” rhyming!
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Beverly, I understand now what Glenn meant about the rhyming and have corrected it. Check it out again (I edited the original at the bottom and re-linked the edited one to Mr. Linky) and you’ll see that it “seriously” rhymes now ;)
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Though I admit to be thrown off by the now/vow/though/wow scheme (see what I did there), I liked the mix of slant and serious rhymes in both versions, Lisa. I enjoyed the tale of this trimmed out tree overall, the monatetra works nicely here in the telling.
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Thank you for the honest feedback, Raivenne. I appreciate it over mindless praise every time.
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“now regal as she wears her crown”–I love that line!
I actually think your first version satisfies the prompt–I just kept going with the same rhyme for all the stanzas because there were so many to choose from. But as with most revisions,I think your second version is tighter and cleaner.
Always a treat to see the sky. (K)
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I like the 2nd version better also, K. Thanks, and yes, the sky brings promises of so many things.
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Such rich use of language here, Lisa! I love the image of “A bigger sky around the house/When I look up I see the clouds.”💝💝
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Thank you, Sanaa!
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I love the two variations especially the many boughs and sun pears. a tall sister is such an adorable phrase, too. beautiful ode to these giants, Ms. Lisa.
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Rosemarie, so pleased you have affection for the trees, thank you for that and your comment.
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You so often transform your life and your world into poetry, Lisa… I can gradually put together a picture of the scenery around you by reading your verses over time! Lovely :-)
-David
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David, I enjoy sharing my home with my blogmates. Thank you for your kind and generous comment <3
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I love the humor of this, and that you made such a wonderful poem from such a mundane event.
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Alexandra thanks! You do the same with your poetry :)
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wink emoji
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as my mom would say, “she’s [you are] a corrupting influence” on me :)
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this is a really nice poem Li! An old one, but I had it saved and am going through some saved emails now. X
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Wonderful :)
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