Crumpled, wet tissue in the motel room corner
Orange shag carpet, particle board paneling
Salt slush dries white on orange polyester
Greyscale drear of earth, sky, clouds, trees
At stainless steel polka-dots, figures sit
hunched; mangy dogs waiting for the bell
Military-grade metal clicks and clangs,
Stale sweat, fragile smiles, hollow eyes
Leaning on the convertible in a red dress
A tall pale man in khakis steps into the sun
Bjorn (and Jane) thank you very much for bringing the form to my awareness. I love it! Will definitely be writing more using it.
Bjorn is today’s host of dVerse’ Meet the Bar. Bjorn says:
Write a poem in the cadralor form. In addition, since today the Nobel Prize in literature was announced I give you the option of being inspired by: Abdulrazak Gurnah “for his uncompromising and compassionate penetration of the effects of colonialism and the fate of the refugee in the gulf between cultures and continents.
Tao Talk 
This is wonderful work with the form, Lisa: your stanzas really feel like scenes from a movie. I wonder if the last stanza is a flashback to an earlier scene?
I love how the poem tells a story!
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Ingrid thank you. The last scene is the day he is discharged from prison.
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Trust me to get things back to front 😅 I thought maybe he’d killed the woman and ended up in prison…
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Ingrid, once the bird/poem has flown, it’s open to interpretation.
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Vivid imagery offered here, Lisa. Such an interesting form, isn’t it?
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Thank you, Dale. Yes it is! One that I can see could be put to good use :)
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I was just telling Merril that it might help me out with a poem I was working on…
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Ooh! Ooh! Good!
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:D
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each stanza a scene so vividly seen in your words – excellent!
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Laura, many thanks <3
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I agree, this is wonderfully written… and I really want to form the images into something complete. I remember that I stated that the poem “thirteen ways… ” was a bit like a cubist painting, which is how I feel reading this
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Bjorn, thank you very much and I appreciate your perspective on it. This form lends itself to creative spirit.
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This is absolutely stellar writing, Lisa :D I love how swiftly each stanza builds up to the next. 💝💝
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Thank you, Sanaa, glad you connected with it.
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You’re most welcome :)
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Vivid scenes in such few words. Nice.
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Ken, thank you.
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Such vivid scenes, Lisa. I feel like its a horror movie!
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LOL, I love your comment, Merril. That’s what it is. A horror story with a happy ending :) Thank you.
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You’re welcome, Lisa! 😀
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The first stanza is absolutely visceral. I FEEL it. And you continue on….each stanza as vivid and real as the one before it. Each stanza a scene in and of itself.
So well done!
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Lillian, thank you much for your praise and feedback. Glad you like it.
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vivid imagery, you took me there as it unfolded into an unexpected ending!
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Thank you, Kate! I appreciate the feedback and it lets me know what I was trying to do worked. The other stanzas show how dismal and painful it is when a loved one is imprisoned, yet that small bird of hope lives for the day when the steel bar doors open.
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but sadly the stigma seldom diminishes as you know
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The barriers to success are compounded, especially with the clingy threads that follow them from the gulag (parole, job restrictions, tracking, etc) agreed, Kate.
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so glad you are there to advocate for them Lisa!
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<3
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Lisa,
I can’t decide. Is it Tarantino or Scorsese I want to see make this into a movie?! Great use of the form, my friend.
pax,
dora
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Dora, I think either one would do this up right. Who do you think should star in it?? Thank you much and glad you enjoyed my first cadralor.
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Definitely Woody Harrelson. Yep. I can see him in this scenario. Woman? Jamie Lee Curtis or Nicole Kidman. Whaddyathink?
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I love it, Dora! Or “Mickey and Mallory” (Harrelson & Juliette Lewis) could reprise their roles…
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Chilling. Too many lives reflected in your words…(K)
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I know. And it’s all downhill from that moment in the last stanza :(
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I love the story progression. Most striking is the turn from the inside to stepping out in the sun.
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Thank you very much, Grace.
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There is such a sad realism to the first four stanzas making the last one seem that much more dreamy. The details drew me in!
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Tricia, thank you very much, glad you were drawn in.
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A surreal feel to your poem Li. A collection of shots and joining together to make a story.
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Thank you, Sadje.
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You’re welcome!
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Knowing your career I believe this story ends with someone leaving prison. Such vivid imagery Lisa. Wonderful ☺️
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Thanks much, Christine :)
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The last stanza may very well be the one with the most action if he is the one reminiscing. Nice one
Much☺love
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Thanks much, Gillena :)
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Interesting take on the form, Lisa. It’s a bit disorienting…like being released from prison!
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Lynn, thank you for seeing that, much appreciated.
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You’re very welcome.
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LOVE LOVE your take on Bjorn’s challenge.
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Helen, thank you! That last stanza is a visual that keeps popping up in my mind, not sure why.
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I agree with Bjorn – this feels very cubist, angular, a long-shot camera angle that picks up the important details – leaving us to fill in “blanks” – yet there is a cohesion to it —- and for some reason, this also makes me feel like I’m watching/looking at an Edward Hopper painting – the famous “Automat” or perhaps “East Side Interior” or “Hotel Room” — there is a gritty but smoothed feeling to your poem … it’s appreciable and very enjoyable, and yet like Hopper’s works, you sense the life within …
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Wild Child, thank you very much for your praise and for your feedback on what you see in it. It is appreciated!
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😁
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Sharply etched snapshots, like movie scenes with unexpected ending!
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Punam, thank you.
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You are welcome.
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Visual feast. Love it, Lisa.
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Thank you :)
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I love the little details that make the whole, a brooding poem.
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Thanks much, Paul.
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So welcome Lisa
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You’re left to wonder if the final image is real, or the subject’s imagination.
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Ah! May be! Thanks for reading and your perspective.
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I like a poem to show and not tell too explicitly, and this one has a skillful ambiguity that paints as others have said, in the abstract, with both vibrant and subtle colors and overtones. I love how you have used sound, color and texture in this to create your mood that I can only describe as anxiety, laced with anticipation, and perhaps more than a little dread. Really well done.
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Joy, thank you for your wonderful feedback. I am glad you like how it turned out.
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Excellent description…I could see it in my mind.
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Max, thank you :)
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you craft this form to its essence, Lisa. each stanza to me is a camera obscura – revealing, but inverted, until you turn it right-side up and all of the images (already focused) snap into recognition. ~
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M, thank you for your perspective on this, it is appreciated. Very much appreciated :)
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