It is a moon wrapped in brown paper
from, “Valentine,” by Carol Ann Duffy
The small, square window’s bars are iron grey. Much of the time I’m a thin lump hunkered on a concrete slab, sandwiched between straw mattress and cotton feather tick. Only my capped head, bright eyes, and red nose are visible. Even lice die when it’s this cold.
I hear the squeaky wheels of the cart that starts and stops. Three times a day the tin tray is shoved through the slot at the bottom of the door. Lumpy, tepid gruel; over-boiled vegetables with animal broth; and a desiccated potato with mystery meat. On Sundays, we are given a piece of withered fruit. It also marks time. I scratch another line on the wall next to a tattered photograph.
She visits through evening’s window. The bars disappear. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. I reach out and open my gift. I’m warm again.
[144 words]
Björn is today’s host of dVerse’ Prosery. Björn says:
Write a piece of prose that incorporates the given set of words and they have to come in exactly the order given, but you may break it up with punctuation. The maximum number of words is 144 (which is a gross) including the given line. Many try to hit that mark exactly, but it’s not mandatory.
Tao Talk 
This an exceedingly beautiful work of prose. Simply beautiful in its writing – well done and thank you! ✒️✒️
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Ami, thank you very much.
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You are very welcome! 😊
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A comforting moon. Nice one
Have a good Monday
Much love…
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Thank you, Gillena. You also.
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I love the way you describe the prisoner’s hard life… to have a moon visiting may be something to take you over those long years. Or maybe the cart is what brings it all to an end.
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I hope the prisoner is released soon, one way or another. Thank you, Bjorn.
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What a scene you paint for this prisoner. I feel it ….
” Even lice die when it’s this cold.” This line is the penultimate line to express this misery. What a line!
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The human will to live is strong. My heart goes out to this person. No crime warrants this punishment.
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Wow, Lisa. Your writing is stellar, rich, evocative. I kept wondering how you were going to bring in the moon… Wowsers!
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Dale, I wondered also! It was a challenging line! Thank you 🙂
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Man oh man… I’ve been thinking about it since it popped into my inbox!
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So sad, lonely, and so evocative. Lisa, this is one of the best pieces I think you’ve written.
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Thank you, Merril. I’m sure it is the life of many a prisoner.
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I’m sure it must be.
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Stunning setting, stunning description….the comments say it all…I feel a bit like a judge in an Olympic ice skating or something…each story just seems to be better and better that I read tonight…I just think you have not written better…really superb piece, technically, emotively, for it’s power….beautiful,,.
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Ain I’m glad you connected with it. Thanks much.
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Think I expressed myself badly….I am not sure I have read much better writing….and a part of that was the setting, really exceptionally good.
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Ain before I retired I worked with juvenile probation and have seen mostly kids in lockups but also visited their parents in the jail. Combine that with what I’ve read in books, read in journals, and seen in film, and it was easy to create a composite. I had in mind Ivan Denisovich, but sadly many in modern prisons live this way also 😦
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Really fine depiction of a joyful moment amid all the nasty reality of a jail sentence. I have not read ‘One Day In the Life Of Ivan Denisovich’ since high school
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Thank you, Larry. I haven’t either, but it stuck with me.
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I agree with the other comments. It is good, in every way. Technically good and satisfying.
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Thanks, Jane.
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well done Lisa!👏
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Thank you 🙂
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Welcome!
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The entire piece is just brilliant, but I love that last paragraph.
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Sascha thank you.
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You’re very welcome. 🙂
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Beauty of the distant moon bringing comfort. Well done.
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Petru, thank you.
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Awwww this is beautiful Li! I love it! Well done you really did a fantastic job on todays prosery prompt! xoxo
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Carol anne, thank you 🙂
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This is incredibly poignant especially the image of the squeaky wheels of the cart that start and stop. Beautifully rendered 💝
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this is an intriguing masterful write Lisa, drew me in and haunts/taunts!
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Kate thanks so much ❤
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most welcome Lisa!
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So very good Lisa! I love this: “Even lice die when it’s this cold.” A great line!
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Thanks, Dwight. I feel so bad for this prisoner 😦
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Yes, that would be awful! It was much like that during the Civil War, from what I read and hear.
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😦
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Yeah, bringing the moon in at the end like salvation… very cool. I could see this story expanded, building on this relationship with the moon.
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Thanks much, D. You never know!
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That’s beautiful Jade. What keeps him going I expect. (K l
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Yes ❤
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Beautifully written, Lisa, kind of heartbreaking!
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Christian, thank you, yes it is.
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Wonderful lines Li.
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Sadje, thank you.
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You’re welcome Li
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So beautiful full moon 🌕 this month we have auspices , but here evening everyday rain 🌧
Couldn’t see moon 🌷🙏 grace wishes 👏🌷
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Thank you very much, Thattamma. Hoping you are able to see the moon very soon. There is something so reassuring about seeing it there, up in the sky.
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Thank you so much friend , today night full moon and
Thick cloud and can’t see, hope so tomorrow 🌷🙏♥️🌷
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You’re welcome ❤
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the moon is the prisoner’s savior
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Yes
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ooooooh….. sad, beautiful, and clever, Lisa.
❤
David
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Thank you, David.
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Magical, Lisa. You do it every time I visit your page, and somehow in 144 words you put us in the worst prison imaginable and then set us free.
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Karen, what a wonderful thing to say. You made my day. Thank you!
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😊
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I loved this little piece of prose. So much beauty within such few words! :0
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Thank you, Veera. Much appreciated.
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“Hugoesque”in tone ~~ I love this.
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Thanks much, Helen ❤
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Wow- you capture the isolation here so well Lisa.
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Linda thank you. It’s more than a little autobiographical. This winter weather is getting to me!
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Yes, that’s remember when I lived in Philly. 😊
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Such a brilliant, evocative write, Li. What incredible joy the moon brings to the prisoner’s miserable life.
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Punam, thank you very much for reading and your comment. Yes, I don’t think the prisoner could continue without it.
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