Tanka Tuesday 308 Ekphrastic


Portrait of Lady Agnew of Lochnaw (1865-1932) by John Singer Sargent,
Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

she loves my brother
yet insists on teasing me
only in dreams is she mine

satin sheen shimmers
prettily wrapped package rests,
waits to be opened

violet eyes mesmerize
with asp’s arrogance
kisses steal it all away

I think this is a nine-line choka but not sure if a choka can be written with line breaks like this?

Colleen Chesebro is the host of Tanka Tuesday.  Colleen says:
This week, using the painting as your inspiration, please write either a syllabic poetry form or a freestyle poem, including a syllabic form (both poetry forms on the same post).



34 Comments Add yours

  1. Carol anne's avatar Carol anne says:

    cool, Lisa! :-) very nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Carol Anne!

      Like

  2. memadtwo's avatar memadtwo says:

    Definitely a tease. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. poetisatinta's avatar poetisatinta says:

    very atmospheric Lisa <3

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Badfinger (Max)'s avatar Badfinger (Max) says:

    I very much like the last stanza.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      :) Thank you, Max.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sadje's avatar Sadje says:

    As usual, a very well written poem Li. Take the reader into the painting

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Sadje!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje's avatar Sadje says:

        You’re most welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  6. balroop singh's avatar balroop2013 says:

    I could also see arrogance in her expression but it is a little subdued! Lovely poetry Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Balroop :)

      Like

  7. Dale's avatar Dale says:

    She does look arrogant to me.
    Nicely done!

    Like

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Dale :)

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love your take on this painting, Lisa! Great poem!

    Yvette M Calleiro :-)
    http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Yvette!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Jules's avatar Jules says:

    I’m not sure I would want to live ‘royally’ so many (at least with shows I’ve watched) secrets and unhappy people.

    Money can’t buy you love…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      100% agree. The ultra rich have thin golden shells filled with rotten egg.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jules's avatar Jules says:

        There might be a few who spread their wealth… but too few.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. What a fabulous chōka, Lisa. I like your take. This woman has a lot to say with her eyes. You captured this aura she wears so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Colleen! I did write it from the perspective of the person looking at her, who imagines what’s going through her mind and what they would like to do. I’m also glad to see that the choka can have lines between sections? I look to you for the form endorsement :)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I’ve not seen a chōka written like that, but why not? The syllables are there… Ginsberg wrote haiku in one sentence. I’d rather be flexible in line count than syllable count. 💜

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

          Cool, Colleen! Thanks for the feedback.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. You’re welcome, Lisa.

            Liked by 1 person

  11. Luanne's avatar Luanne says:

    You’ve set up a great situation that brings a whole new way of looking at the portrait! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Luanne, thank you :)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Luanne's avatar Luanne says:

        You are welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. well done love this play on the portrait! ❣️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Many thanks. There have been so many good poems written to this image. Good choice on Colleen’s part.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with you! You’re so welcome💕

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Elizabeth's avatar Elizabeth says:

    This image is really so wonderful, lots of emotions surface when looking at it. Betrayal can be one of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli says:

      Indeed, Elizabeth :)

      Liked by 1 person

Your thoughts matter.