Portrait of Lady Agnew of Lochnaw (1865-1932) by John Singer Sargent,
Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
she loves my brother
yet insists on teasing me
only in dreams is she mine
satin sheen shimmers
prettily wrapped package rests,
waits to be opened
violet eyes mesmerize
with asp’s arrogance
kisses steal it all away
I think this is a nine-line choka but not sure if a choka can be written with line breaks like this?
Colleen Chesebro is the host of Tanka Tuesday. Colleen says:
This week, using the painting as your inspiration, please write either a syllabic poetry form or a freestyle poem, including a syllabic form (both poetry forms on the same post).
cool, Lisa! 🙂 very nice!
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Thanks, Carol Anne!
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Definitely a tease. (K)
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very atmospheric Lisa ❤
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Thanks, AJ!
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I very much like the last stanza.
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🙂 Thank you, Max.
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As usual, a very well written poem Li. Take the reader into the painting
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Thanks much, Sadje!
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You’re most welcome
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I could also see arrogance in her expression but it is a little subdued! Lovely poetry Lisa.
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Thanks much, Balroop 🙂
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She does look arrogant to me.
Nicely done!
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Thank you, Dale 🙂
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🙂
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I love your take on this painting, Lisa! Great poem!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
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Thanks much, Yvette!
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I’m not sure I would want to live ‘royally’ so many (at least with shows I’ve watched) secrets and unhappy people.
Money can’t buy you love…
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100% agree. The ultra rich have thin golden shells filled with rotten egg.
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There might be a few who spread their wealth… but too few.
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What a fabulous chōka, Lisa. I like your take. This woman has a lot to say with her eyes. You captured this aura she wears so well.
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Thank you, Colleen! I did write it from the perspective of the person looking at her, who imagines what’s going through her mind and what they would like to do. I’m also glad to see that the choka can have lines between sections? I look to you for the form endorsement 🙂
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Well, I’ve not seen a chōka written like that, but why not? The syllables are there… Ginsberg wrote haiku in one sentence. I’d rather be flexible in line count than syllable count. 💜
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Cool, Colleen! Thanks for the feedback.
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You’re welcome, Lisa.
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You’ve set up a great situation that brings a whole new way of looking at the portrait! Well done!
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Luanne, thank you 🙂
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You are welcome.
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well done love this play on the portrait! ❣️
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Many thanks. There have been so many good poems written to this image. Good choice on Colleen’s part.
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I agree with you! You’re so welcome💕
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This image is really so wonderful, lots of emotions surface when looking at it. Betrayal can be one of them.
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Indeed, Elizabeth 🙂
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