PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot
Oops
Why here? Isn’t her clemency enough?
She steps from a gold-plated Hummer, garbed in royal blue Versace and Wang glitter pumps. Two escorts in Armani walk her over.
She’s usually wearing a doll grin. Today she looks almost scared; her wrinkles are tight.
We’re seated in the tent bistro, out of drone view. The goons stand nearby, their sunglasses ever-oscillating.
Jowls raised in a smirk, I scratch the bruise on my hand. “OK, G, what the …?”
“You raped the wrong girl. You will go with them … and answer their questions.”
I reach for my phone.
“I wouldn’t,” G hisses.
[101 words]
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is the host of Friday Fictioneers.
Tao-Talk 
G doesn’t seem to be messing. He’s in trouble
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I have read this a few times and am still a tad confused on who is who in this one…
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There is the person waiting for G. G arrives with 2 escorts. The person wants to know why they are meeting up like this (implied it’s not the usual circumstances.)
Does that help?
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I think the difficulty is the switche from third person to first so we don’t understand who is who…
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I’m not sure how to highlight things in color on this, but I have the first line in italics, which should equate to the first person’s “thought bubble” of what he’s thinking.
The second paragraph is the action of G, the second person, arriving at the spot she wanted to meet him at.
The 3rd paragraph is italicized, where he’s thinking about his impressions of G.
I just italicized the other parts, up to where he asks G his question.
I just italicized where he reaches for his phone.
Hoping that makes it more easily understood.
Thanks for the feedback. I guess the oops is about the writing as well. Please let me know if it is more understandable now.
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On the sidebar, under Block, there’s an option to change the text color or highlight color. I think the italics are sufficient and less jarring than a color change, but if you wanted to used different colors, that’s how.
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Nobbin, thank you very much. It used to be right on the formatting bar.
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I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, but I don’t think I like G very much.
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What about the person who raped the wrong girl? They are both thoroughly reprehensible.
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Of course that’s true, but I’m not really sure who the rapist is!
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To my understanding, they both were, but that’s another story.
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Nancy I just edited it. Take a look and see if it is easier to understand.
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Is this the edited version, Lisa?
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Nancy, I’ve edited it by adding italics to most of it as most of it is taking place inside the first person’s mind. I would ask that you refresh your screen. It should show up correctly.
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Lisa, I’m sorry you felt like you had to make changes; I didn’t mean for you to do all that work … but it was worth it! I can see your story clearly now and it’s’s an excellent piece. It’s also extremely disturbing. Well done, and thank you.
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Thanks, Nancy. These characters and their actions *are* very disturbing.
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Sorry, Li. I’m just trying to understand.
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No worries, Nancy. I guess the story isn’t as clear as I thought it was, as both you and Dale are asking questions.
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Things look ominous. (K)
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We can only hope.
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Hard not to be influenced by current events. Evil times.
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Indeed, Dawn. Thank you.
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Wow Li…this is brilliant, so good! xoxo
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Thanks much, CA <3
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Escorts in Armani I can see but a gold-plated Hummer?
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Is there any extreme some won’t go to? I keep asking myself that question. Thanks for reading, James.
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Ditto not sure what the scene means, but it was riveting!
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Clare, thanks!
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This is still a bit confusing even with the italics, but it’s intriguing nonetheless.
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Thanks, Astrid. Glad you find it intriguing.
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You know when you dun messed with the wrong girl…
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I pray this comes to pass and I hope you know who I am talking about in this story. Exactly so, V!
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Disturbing.
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Yes, it is. Almost unbearably so.
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Interesting and intriguing, Lisa. I like a story that gets me thinking!
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Thanks much, and I like your adjectives for it :)
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Classy names she wears… and that huge car had dropped her in that posh bistro (wow).
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Now that she’s been given clemency and released from prison she’s living it up with all of the blood money. Thanks, Chris!
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Dear Lisa,
Add me to the list of somewhat confused. I’d say someone’s in mighty big trouble. That’s the challenge of 100 words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
Think of the person waiting for “G” as a prominent current political figure, and “G” as the monster sitting in a cage, waiting for her clemency. Hoping that helps? It’s ok, I’m often confusing, within or without 100 word limit. Thanks much for your kind words.
Shalom,
Lisa
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I read the comments and that helped me undertsand more of the setting – but even without that – I loved the details of name brands, sunglasses, and gold-plated Hummer! could see them walking to the tent – so vivid
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Thanks very much. I tried to bring it to life.
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it is amazing what you can do in 100 words!
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I read the comments because I thought I had missed some pop culture or political reference because I was so distracted by the details. That pomp… the luxury… does not make G a likeable creature. And yet… that rapist is worse. With his jowls and bruise on his hand, he reminded me of someone… can’t think of who that would be… ;)
The mindset of both, despite disagreement, is horrible and also similar: ‘You raped the wrong girl.” Wrong! There is no right girl to rape.
I wonder why she was in jail or needed clemency.
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Gabi, thank you very much for your close read. I love your insights with “There is no right girl to rape.”
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And I have that hunch about who G. is… but isn’t she still in jail?
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Yes she is, where I hope she will stay forever.
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Is he taking out the phone to send out a truth? Great take on the prompt, may it be prophetic.
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Not sure, but I’m glad you liked my take, Yvette :)
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Who’s the right girl to rape? 😱
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Read Gabi’s comment. For this rapist, any girl where he isn’t held accountable.
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Oh, no getting out of this. Sounds like he picked the wrong victim. He’ll regret it I think. Nicely told
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Laurie I hope he does. Thanks much.
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Well I’m not on the rapist’s side, but I suspect she’s not a very nice character either. Where did all the bling come from?
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G socked away a fortune during her sex trafficking days. They are all monsters. Thanks for reading and asking questions.
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They are all monsters. Agreed
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Sounds like his karma is catching up to him. Oops, indeed.
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