#FF — Twilight Town

PHOTO PROMPT © CEAyr

A sour lemon sky presided over the town where only lorry drivers and gangsters could afford petrol. Half of the streets were bathed in terminal twilight.

Leon said he had business on the dark side and promised he wouldn’t be long. Lara waited between two worlds near the glassy storefront that mirrored all.

An hour later a young girl in a blue jacket approached with a note for Lara.  Delivering it with the black marble eyes of a street orphan, she waited for a coin with silent plea and was rewarded with silver.

The note had two words: “Go home.”

[100 words]

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is the fictionista host of Friday Fictioneers.

71 Comments Add yours

  1. Iain Kelly says:

    I like the light and dark you have used from the prompt. I’m guessing Leon isn’t coming back to the light.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Iain. No story came to mind as I looked it the photo so I had to build it like legos 🙂 I’m guessing you’re right.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. doodletllc says:

    Love seeing the underbelly of this world, but perhaps it’s best that she go home. I enjoyed this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you much, yes perhaps it is best.

      Like

  3. Ah, well, yep, I can see that! Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Na’ama! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    Those are two powerful words in that context…great ending Lisa. Those two words are all that needed to be said.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Max.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I fear for what happened to Leon, but Lara better get home before it gets worse for her as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. neilmacdon says:

    An ntriguing world you’ve built here

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  7. Dora says:

    Sad ending to a risky business, but on the brighter side, the dark hadn’t prevented him from warning Lara. Well-written story, Lisa. It just carried me along.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Dora, for reading and your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Not a happy world. Lara should heed the note’s advice. Alas, it might have been Leon’s last words to her. I like the use of the words ‘lorry’ and ‘petrol’ from the other English. It’s a good thing I’ve read enough Beatle biographies over the years to figure them out

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Larry, and glad you liked the “other English” words.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Love the creation of the two worlds, really imaginative piece, ultimately rather sad, but I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Shrawl! When there are only two games in town sometimes hard choices have to be made. I hope he’s just gone for the day and comes home tomorrow…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Sadje says:

    This is really good. Anything could happen now!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. plaridel says:

    leon looks like a goner. she better heed the advice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I think she should also. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Lots of great imagery here. I think “sour lemon sky” is my favorite bit.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Anita says:

    Home means safety, security & comfort.
    Hope she heeds the note and hurries home.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Will she ever see him again I wonder? A perfect tale to accompany the extremes of darkness and light in the picture.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Keith!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Good one Lisa. Well-painted word pictures and you captured the dinginess and drama very well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Jolly!

      Like

  16. Dear Lisa,

    This feels like the ominous beginning to a larger story. Well done. I want to know more!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Rochelle, thank you very much. You may have just encouraged me to write a part 2. 🙂
      Shalom,
      Lisa

      Like

  17. Bill says:

    Beware of notes born by young girls in blue jackets. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Bill 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Danny James says:

    I don’t think he is coming back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      We’ll see 🙂

      Like

  19. Keenly observed, and I liked where it took me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Paula!

      Like

  20. Sue says:

    “A sour lemon sky…” I love your description! This story drew me in. I wanted to know more…like why “go home”. So many possibilities 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sue 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sue says:

        You’re very welcome 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  21. draliman says:

    I guess he’s not coming back…
    I like the ideas behind this, the light and dark.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Ali.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Dale says:

    What a great imagination you have, Lisa.
    If he was able to get a note to her… she best move quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I think you’re right, Dale and thank you for the compliment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Nobbinmaug says:

    I love the imagery in this one. “A sour lemon sky…” “…terminal twilight.”

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Mike says:

    This is a story that wanted to grow and grow in my mind. Nicely done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Great, Mike, it was my intent that it did. Thank you.

      Like

  25. Laurie Bell says:

    Ooooooo this is terrific! Light and dark, good and evil. I love the black eyes of the street child.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Laurie!

      Like

  26. pennygadd51 says:

    You’ve compressed a lot into this story, without it seeming at all forced. Great piece of world-building, leaving plenty to the reader’s imagination. Good technique!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Penny 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. granonine says:

    The orphan is a good touch to this story–a little piece of pathos in a dark world. I’m thinking Leon has maybe taken his last breath under that sour lemon sky–which, by the way, is a wonderful description 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Linda thank you very much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. subroto says:

    He has gone over the dark side. I liked the ‘sour lemon sky’ description.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  29. Like the way you build up the ambiance of the scene and the tension. A mini thriller, nicely done.

    Like

  30. notestowomen says:

    I’m relieved that Leon was able to warn Lara. I hope she takes heed and leaves ASAP. Great contrasts of light and dark.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. notestowomen says:

        You’re welcome 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  31. Lynn Love says:

    Wow! I love this! So dark, so mysterious and that opening. Just fab

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 Thanks, Lynn.

      Like

  32. Vartikaforu says:

    I can imagine every word you have written. Good post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Vartika 🙂

      Like

  33. I hope Leon is safe. I doubt Lara will take heed of the note’s warning.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 You never know…

      Like

  34. magarisa says:

    What a grim, dystopic world you have built! Sinister, mysterious and intriguing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Well that picture doesn’t encourage singing happy songs and dancing through fields of flowers 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. magarisa says:

        I’m inclined to agree. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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