dVerse — MTB 231 — Gone

 

 

dead-tree-sketch-844x1126

You fling it open for the first time / but I’m gone
by Mohja Kahf, from “Wall”

We toy with each other
like seasons:
I, blazing, thirsty summer;
you, warm brown autumn,
until our worlds spin;
and you, deep-frozen winter
taunt me, life-craving spring.
Consorting with Sol,
you trickle down mountain granite
seeking me in the deep pool
where bright fish flash
in dappled shadow.
You rejoice, ready.
Alas, tulips have withered
in their salted graves
and cherry blossoms
are but a memory.

 

image by Tony Stuck

Laura was Tuesday’s host at dVerse’ Poetics and said:
So for this Poetics prompt I give you some final lines: Choose ONE and write your poem as continuation where the poet left off, with special thought to your own final lines:-

•“As if we could hear music inside the words” Gail Newman ~ Trust
•“Airless and unloved, in the dank basement of the mind” L. Igloria ~ A Reparation
•“Call me to lie down in fragrance.” D. Margoshes ~ Season of Lilac
•“So close that your sea rises with my heat” C.Perez ~ Love in a Time of Climate Change
•“The clear vowels rise like balloons” S.Plath ~ Morning Song
•“You fling it open for the first time/ but I’m gone” M Kahf ~ Wall

Preferably do NOT use the lines as title or within your writing but either cite the reference at the end OR place the quote as Epigraph to the start of your poem.

HOWEVER, I did not continue from the opening line but instead wrote a poem that led to it being the ending.  This means I can link it to today’s Meet the Bar prompt at dVerse, where host, Peter Frankis says:

So come on poets, join me at the beginning. Let’s find that best first line:

  • see if you can hook yourself a new reader with upfront vivid images and unusual word use
  • maybe stick with tradition (starting top left) or forge out in a new direction, maybe even a one line, or even a one-word poem (though please read the article that I’ve linked to Saroyan’s poem)  
  • perhaps try your hand at some found poetry, make something shapely or striking or something off the fridge
  • or perhaps a poem beginning with a line by a poet who’s provoked or enthralled or charmed or annoyed you (don’t forget to link to the original poem in your post).

31 Comments Add yours

  1. Helen Dehner says:

    Oh My! You certainly drew me in with the opening line!!! Marvelous poetry, marvelous. Sensuous with so much color.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Helen. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  2. Dora says:

    I’m getting a “too little too late” vibe in this relationship. The imagery is brilliantly psychological, wonderfully imagined.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, you got it right, Dora. Thanks for reading and your kind comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dora says:

        You’re a pleasure to read, Lisa.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a clever re-use of Wall’s line & another fine beginning: how do two people ‘play’ like ‘seasons’ ? Well, this poem is going to tell us. The conceit of the off-set seasons works well throughout – and sharpens the missed opportunity (this wasn’t just any old relationship). ‘bright fish flash / in dappled shadow’ has a lovely sensual sound to it (as well as being a sparkling image – one of several). All up a fine piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Peter.

      Like

  4. Sadje says:

    This is such a lovely poem

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sadje.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome Li

        Liked by 1 person

  5. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    I love “in dappled shadow.”… I think of…”There is a season…….” I like the battles within.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Max glad you liked this one, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Reena Saxena says:

    The simile moves to metaphor so effortlessly – as the state of a relationship glides by smoothly, till consequences of delay become evident.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Reena thank you for your welcomed feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Alas, tulips have withered
    in their salted graves

    😢 😢 😢

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ingrid says:

    I’m not a new reader, but I was certainly hooked by this response to Laura’s prompt: another great first line!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Ingrid!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. memadtwo says:

    Now is always leaving…great image too. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      “Now is always leaving…” great quote, K. It took me awhile to find that image, glad you like it.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. calmkate says:

    sounds like the seasons were not aligned in this relationship, intriguing write that speaks to both prompts well!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. -Eugenia says:

    Beautifully rendered, Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Eugi.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. -Eugenia says:

        My pleasure, Lisa!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. robtkistner says:

    A delight for the senses Lisa, and so prolific today! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I wrote this one on Tuesday 🙂

      Like

  13. I think in many relationships the lack of timing is what kills it… to be on the opposing seasons never work… it’s like the frost killing the apple-blossom or the thaw destroying the snow for a skiier.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Agreed, Bjorn. I’m thinking of a line from one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs, Hazel, “I’m up on a hill, but still you’re not there.”

      Like

  14. selizabryangmailcom says:

    A much more lyrical way of writing “It is what it is.”
    Thanks for sharing!
    (the tree fills me with deep anxiety and sadness; possibly an over-reaction…? But still……) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 Enjoyed your comment. Good definition of poetry.

      Liked by 1 person

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