“Insomnia,” by Alicia Audi
Sheep long a-snore, numbers
across hour hand crawls. Ah, to dream,
recall, perhaps as far back as slumbers
in the days of my infancy, it seems.
When days were long, labor earnest,
sleep was but by-product not goal,
a seamless shift of wake-sleep. Returnest
me please to exhaustion. Refresh this soul!
Oh, dark-shadowed eyes’ sorrow
of midnight’s stare, go a-way.
Shut you, please, before morrow
brings another day!
My dragging form, a corpse, nixed, feeling
anything but brave,
as if given virtual, undeserved beating
and left at fresh-dug edge of grave.
In age, a vexed curse, nightly battle
to lose to ether’s blade; where wins suck. Life,
when again incarned, make me join cattle,
whose next blade of grass my only strife.
Laura is today’s host of dVerse’ Meet The Bar and Craft. Laura says:
• writing an alternate rhyme poem of at least 3 stanzas
• the rhyme scheme is ABAB; CDCD; EFEF etc
• We are going to borrow the end rhyme pairs from a published poem
in the order they were written
• either a famous poem or one of our own previously published
• do cite the source (or even post with the original in parallel)
End rhyme pairs are from the first five stanzas of one of my favorite poems, “A Psalm of Life,” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tao Talk 
wonderful! A great poem! And I can relate to the insomnia, as I am a bit of an insomniac!
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Thank you, Carol Anne. I suffered with it a few years ago but now I sleep like a baby again. Sorry you can relate to it :(
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Anyone who says “sleep like a baby” hasn’t lived with one lately;)
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lol! true dat. my younger son and his wife have a 2-year old, which is pretty close
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I relate to this poem, Lisa, having long suffered from disturbed sleep and watching the hour hand crawl across numbers. You were brave to choose a poem by Longfellow, and wise to choose only some of the stanzas.
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Kim, thank you very much. <3 Sorry to hear you can relate to insomnia.
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Thanks Lisa. I can get to sleep OK, as soon as my head hits the pillow, but I can’t stay asleep and then I can’t get back to sleep.
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You’re welcome. Wishing you a full night’s sleep, my friend <3
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This is incredibly powerful, Lisa! I especially resonate with; “Oh, dark-shadowed eyes’ sorrow of midnight’s stare, go a-way. Shut you, please, before morrow brings another day!” ❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you very much, Sanaa, and glad you like that part of it. I tried it put it in Longfellow style.
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“My dragging form, a corpse, nixed, feeling
anything but brave,
as if given virtual, undeserved beating
and left at fresh-dug edge of grave.”
I don’t suffer from insomnia but I can relate to these lines, as when my sleep is disturbed, I feel like this. Wonderfully done, Li. 🙂
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Punam, I remember those days of insomnia well. So happy they have passed and glad you don’t have it. Many thanks <3
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I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! I too am happy for you. You are so welcome. ❤️
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wise to shorten the Longfellow but a rhyme exemplar for choice!
the frustration of sleeplessness stamped in every stanza and am especially struck by the first one
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Laura thank you very much for the challenge and for the feedback, which is always appreciated. I wanted to record myself reading it to show the lack of ta-tum ta-tum ta-tum. I need practice in reading and in voice modulation.
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Wonderful poem and love hearing it read. I know these days that happen at times.. well done! 💞
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Cindy, thanks so much, and yes, it does <3
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You’re most welcome Li!! 💞
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You’ve caught those depths of despair–the curse, indeed, of insomnia. (K)
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I’ve known too many people with it and feel so helpless to help them with it.
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Mine seems to have mellowed lately, thank goodness.
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Amazing poem and word-smithing, Lisa! Insomnia is the worst!
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Thanks much, MW, and sorry you know what it’s like.
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Great visuals of insomnia. I especially liked, “Oh, dark-shadowed eyes’ sorrow” and “My dragging form.”
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Maria, thank you, glad you liked those lines and visuals.
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Fabulous, Lisa.
And ugh… a feeling way too familiar to me.
What do you do to sleep like a baby, pray tell?
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Sleep alone is #1 lmao. Also get real tired before trying, a warm heating pad on the bed, a big huggy body pillow, sound machine, herbal teas, a calming bedtime ritual, and a feeling of safety. It’s a lot of rigamarole, but it works!
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Yes! As I do (mostly!)
Wow… That is a lot of rigamarole! But creating a sleep schedule or ritual is key. I’m working on that.
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While fortunately I haven’t had sleeping issues, I know insomnia is pretty terrifying and can lead to many other serious health conditions.
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Such a beautifully written poem, evokes the feelings of staying awake when everyone is enjoying sleep.
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Thanks much, Sadje, the midnight hour is a lonely place…
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It sure is, especially if you are free and alone.
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Insomnia is really bad. I like the feeling of nostalgia in the opening stanzas!
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Thank you, Jay and glad you connected with it in a good way.
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sleep was but by-product not goal,
a seamless shift of wake-sleep.
love that! I feel seen :).
Great use of enjambment, Lisa, really flows well. And you picked some tricky end words, but made it modern.
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Sarah, thank you very much.
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Ah the healing balm that is sleep. The soul cry for this so ardently.
Nice one.
Much 💖love
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Gillena thank you for reading and your lovely comment.
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Deeply evocative poem and wonderfully read. I used to have insomnia but now I listen to classic audio books and eventually I get to sleep. When I don’t have them with me I then have to deal with insomnia, especially when I’m not sleeping alone or visiting at a friend’s.🙏🏾
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Thanks much, Jude. I like that the old classics put you to sleep :)
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You did very well with this. I got lost in the abc’s so I left this one pass.
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Thanks much, Dwight.
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You are welcome.
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