A sour lemon sky presided over the town where only lorry drivers and gangsters could afford petrol. Half of the streets were bathed in terminal twilight.
Leon said he had business on the dark side and promised he wouldn’t be long. Lara waited between two worlds near the glassy storefront that mirrored all.
An hour later a young girl in a blue jacket approached with a note for Lara. Delivering it with the black marble eyes of a street orphan, she waited for a coin with silent plea and was rewarded with silver.
The note had two words: “Go home.”
[100 words]
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is the fictionista host of Friday Fictioneers.
Tao Talk 
I like the light and dark you have used from the prompt. I’m guessing Leon isn’t coming back to the light.
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Thank you, Iain. No story came to mind as I looked it the photo so I had to build it like legos :) I’m guessing you’re right.
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Love seeing the underbelly of this world, but perhaps it’s best that she go home. I enjoyed this.
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Thank you much, yes perhaps it is best.
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Ah, well, yep, I can see that! Nicely done!
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Thank you, Na’ama! :)
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Those are two powerful words in that context…great ending Lisa. Those two words are all that needed to be said.
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Thank you very much, Max.
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I fear for what happened to Leon, but Lara better get home before it gets worse for her as well.
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100% agree
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An ntriguing world you’ve built here
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Thank you :)
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Sad ending to a risky business, but on the brighter side, the dark hadn’t prevented him from warning Lara. Well-written story, Lisa. It just carried me along.
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Thank you, Dora, for reading and your comment.
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Not a happy world. Lara should heed the note’s advice. Alas, it might have been Leon’s last words to her. I like the use of the words ‘lorry’ and ‘petrol’ from the other English. It’s a good thing I’ve read enough Beatle biographies over the years to figure them out
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Thanks much, Larry, and glad you liked the “other English” words.
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Love the creation of the two worlds, really imaginative piece, ultimately rather sad, but I love it!
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Thanks, Shrawl! When there are only two games in town sometimes hard choices have to be made. I hope he’s just gone for the day and comes home tomorrow…
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This is really good. Anything could happen now!
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leon looks like a goner. she better heed the advice.
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I think she should also. Thanks for reading.
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Lots of great imagery here. I think “sour lemon sky” is my favorite bit.
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Thanks!
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Home means safety, security & comfort.
Hope she heeds the note and hurries home.
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Will she ever see him again I wonder? A perfect tale to accompany the extremes of darkness and light in the picture.
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Thank you, Keith!
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Good one Lisa. Well-painted word pictures and you captured the dinginess and drama very well.
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Thank you, Jolly!
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Dear Lisa,
This feels like the ominous beginning to a larger story. Well done. I want to know more!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, thank you very much. You may have just encouraged me to write a part 2. :)
Shalom,
Lisa
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Beware of notes born by young girls in blue jackets. Nicely done.
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Thank you, Bill :)
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I don’t think he is coming back.
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We’ll see :)
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Keenly observed, and I liked where it took me!
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Thanks much, Paula!
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“A sour lemon sky…” I love your description! This story drew me in. I wanted to know more…like why “go home”. So many possibilities 😊
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Thank you, Sue :)
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You’re very welcome :)
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I guess he’s not coming back…
I like the ideas behind this, the light and dark.
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Thank you, Ali.
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What a great imagination you have, Lisa.
If he was able to get a note to her… she best move quickly.
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I think you’re right, Dale and thank you for the compliment :)
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:)
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I love the imagery in this one. “A sour lemon sky…” “…terminal twilight.”
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Thank you.
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This is a story that wanted to grow and grow in my mind. Nicely done
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Great, Mike, it was my intent that it did. Thank you.
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Ooooooo this is terrific! Light and dark, good and evil. I love the black eyes of the street child.
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Thanks, Laurie!
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You’ve compressed a lot into this story, without it seeming at all forced. Great piece of world-building, leaving plenty to the reader’s imagination. Good technique!
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Thank you, Penny :)
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The orphan is a good touch to this story–a little piece of pathos in a dark world. I’m thinking Leon has maybe taken his last breath under that sour lemon sky–which, by the way, is a wonderful description :)
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Linda thank you very much :)
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He has gone over the dark side. I liked the ‘sour lemon sky’ description.
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Thank you :)
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Like the way you build up the ambiance of the scene and the tension. A mini thriller, nicely done.
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I’m relieved that Leon was able to warn Lara. I hope she takes heed and leaves ASAP. Great contrasts of light and dark.
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Thanks much.
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You’re welcome :)
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Wow! I love this! So dark, so mysterious and that opening. Just fab
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:) Thanks, Lynn.
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I can imagine every word you have written. Good post
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Thank you, Vartika :)
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I hope Leon is safe. I doubt Lara will take heed of the note’s warning.
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:) You never know…
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What a grim, dystopic world you have built! Sinister, mysterious and intriguing.
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Well that picture doesn’t encourage singing happy songs and dancing through fields of flowers :)
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I’m inclined to agree. 😊
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:)
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