dVerse — MTB — I Promise

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ORIGINAL POEM (SONG)

I’m Not Sayin’, by Gordon Lightfoot
I’m not sayin’ that I love you
I’m not sayin’ that I’ll care if you love me
I’m not sayin’ that I’ll care
I’m not sayin’ I’ll be there when you need me
I can’t give my heart to you
Or tell you that I’ll sing your name up to the sky
I can’t lay the promise down
That I’ll always be around when you need me

Now I may not be alone each time you see me
Along the street or in a small cafe
But still I won’t deny you or mistreat you
Baby if you let me have my way

I’m not sayin’ I’ll be sorry
For all the things that I might say that make you cry
I can’t say I’ll always do
The things you want me to
I’m not sayin’ I’ll be true but I’ll try

Now I may not be alone each time you see me
Or show up when I promised that I would
But still I won’t deny you or mistreat you
Baby if you love me like you should

I’m not sayin’ I’ll be sorry
For all the things that I might say that make you cry
I can’t say I’ll always do
The things you want me to
I’m not sayin’ I’ll be true but I’ll try
I can’t say I’ll always do
The things you want me to
I’m not sayin’ I’ll be true but I’ll try
Songwriter: Gordon Lightfoot

My palinode:

I Promise
You wept, askance
at my arrogance.
Not one to be alone
in love, you flew.
It’s been a year —
I can’t think
of anyone
but you.
Please, dear heart,
my ego is now trained
from it you’ll hear not a peep
if your green eyes notice me again.
No future promises will be needed, as
I’m already there.
I care!
I’ll be there!
My heart is now yours forever.
My voice rise in lamentation at your absence!
I’m yours alone.
Yours to command.
I’ll never make you cry again.
Yours to command.
I’m yours alone.
Baby, please come home.

 

Top image:  “The Abandonment,” by Andre Kohn

Grace is today’s host for dVerse’ Meet the Bar.  Grace says:
the writing challenge is to write a palinode.   This can be in relation to a poem you have written before (please link or include prior poem), or as part of poem e.g. Palinode by Monica Youn.

52 Comments Add yours

  1. Grace says:

    A change in emotions between the first poem and the second one. I guess the second one is more heart felt, forgiving and pleading with the other one. Time does make one a sentimental person (or fool).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Grace.

      Like

  2. sanaarizvi says:

    This is incredibly evocative! I especially love; “My voice rise in lamentation at your absence! I’m yours alone.” You capture the intensity of Lightfoot’s poem so well! 💝💝

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sanaa 🙂

      Like

  3. kim881 says:

    I didn’t know the Gordon Lightfoot song, Lisa, so I read it as a poem that uses repetition to make reverse statements, which you turned around so skillfully. I love the lyricality and the rhyming of ‘askance’ with arrogance’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Kim, I’m glad to introduce you to this Gord song. Thank you for the feedback and glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ingrid says:

    I enjoyed your response to Gordon Lightfoot. I hope it was him who changed his mind and decided he loved the lady all along – it sounds as if he’s headed that way by the end of the song 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes, it is him who changed his mind, at least in the song. He does sing another one with that sentiment, called, “Your Love’s Return,” that I adore. He knows he’s been a fool and wants the love of his life to come back.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ingrid says:

        That’s sweet! I do love his songs, especially ‘If you could read my mind’ 😭

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I love how you made this as a response to another poet (which was my first thought)… love how the end of Gordon Lightfoot’s poem and yours make me believe that there can be reconciliation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you very much, Bjorn.

      Like

  6. Glenn A. Buttkus says:

    You are the first to use another poet to write to; kudos. Your response, your palinode is very effective and precise. Nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Glenn, thank you. I need to get to the trail to see what everyone else wrote. I’m stubborn so didn’t want to backtrack on any position lol

      Like

  7. Carol anne says:

    so nice! Loved it! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Carol anne, very glad you liked it.

      Like

  8. Interesting take responding to another versus your own work. I feel like Gordon Lightfoot offers some good opportunities for a response.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, TJS, and yes, he does.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. calmkate says:

    good one Lisa … I’m a big fan of GL and you rebutted him so cleverly playing on his own words to reverse his sentiment! great skill

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Kate, thank you! I love that song, but his arrogance just peeved me. Time to let him feel a little sting, at least in my poem lol. I truly adore Gordon Lightfoot, his songs have been keeping me company for years.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate says:

        yes my Canuk friends introduced me decades ago … I love his nature songs best

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Masa says:

    Ah GL. Reminds me of driving in the countryside, friends in the backseat, dreaming of the future while we burned through the present. Your response is just as haunting. Splendid work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Masa, thank you for your poetic comment and your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. lynn__ says:

    Excellent response to Lightfoot’s song lyrics. If you love ’em, say so!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Yes! But you know how that ego is, and guys are taught don’t show feelings, play it cool. I’m glad he wised up, at least in the poem 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Sadje says:

    Fantastic poem Li.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Sadje, thank you very much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  13. This song does just call for a palinode, and I enjoyed every bit of yours. The rhythm and the voice are perfect! 💯

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you so much, Tricia. I was determined to find a song that started out “negative” and turn it around rather than vice versa.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it works well!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. robtkistner says:

    Excellent Lisa, I liked your stand herein, felt honest and strong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Rob, thank you. It came from the heart.

      Like

  15. rothpoetry says:

    I love Gorden Lightfoot’s music! You have done a great reversal poem.
    But you know once you’ve scorned, you’ll always alone!!
    Well done Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Dwight! Hell hath no fury and all that, eh? lol

      Liked by 1 person

  16. earthweal says:

    Narrow bridge here for love, swinging over a chasm between heart and heart. – Brendan

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I know! At first you think he’s had a change of heart — until the next time…. Good catch.

      Like

  17. memadtwo says:

    We’d all like to hear that second voice I think, although we too often get the first. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Or they say the second but do the first 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    A lot of guys are tight with their feelings…but I learned early the hard way…you can miss out on something if you don’t speak and keep playing a stupid game.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Lisa, there is a soulful voice in your response. I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Linda, it came from there.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. That painting is divine! I’d love to see it come to life in a movie or at a photo shoot. I’m imagining Halle Berry, Keira Knightly, Rachel Weisz…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I love it too! Yes on all 3!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Dora says:

    Lisa,
    Oh what a turnabout for the persona, from carefree to needy! You never miss the water until the well runs dry as they say.
    ∼🕊Dora

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Dora, yes exactly.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Oh would, coulda, shoulda! You don’t know how good you have it until you’ve lost it. He should have known better. Lisa, I love that you used a Gordon Lightfoot song 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 Wise words and so glad you like the song.

      Liked by 1 person

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