dVerse — MTB/Form — Come the Dawn

https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/a-pair-of-lovers-vincent-van-gogh.jpg

Ev’ry night ascend appointed path
Rendezvous until the dark is gone
Tuck away immortal flights with you
Come the sober rose blush of the dawn

Doesn’t matter that it isn’t real
Even if it’s just in dreams it’s true
Come the sober rose blush of the dawn
Tuck away immortal flights with you

Promise hugged with hope one day unfurled
When the time of parting is undrawn
No more tucked immortal flights will do
Come the sober rose blush of the dawn

Soaring daylight living warmth entwined
Ghosts maintained released, no more to do
Come the loving rose blush of the dawn
Manifest immortal flights with you

 

image:  “A Pair of Lovers,” by Vincent Van Gogh

Grace is today’s host for dVerse’ Meet the Bar/Poetry Form. Grace says:
Write a poem in the Mirrored Refrain form.

 

59 Comments Add yours

  1. Grace says:

    This has a mystical fantasy imagery and world. I admire the refraining lines which makes me want to fly away:

    Tuck away immortal flights with you
    Come the sober rose blush of the dawn

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Grace 🙂

      Like

  2. Dale says:

    Oh you have succeeded so beautifully, Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Dale!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. sanaarizvi says:

    The refrain is absolutely swoon-worthy Lisa! Beautiful work done 💝💝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks much, Sanaa 🙂 ❤

      Like

  4. Lucy says:

    Oh, this is very beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Lucy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I like this! Especially the second stanza.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Jane!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. lillian says:

    …come the sober rose rush of the dawn….what an absolutely beautiful line!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Lillian, thank you ❤

      Like

  7. Helen Dehner says:

    “ Doesn’t matter that it isn’t real even if it’s just in dreams we’re true” ~ swoon-worthy, Lisa. ( don’t laugh but at first glance I read immortal as immoral )❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      That works too, Helen 😉

      Like

  8. So beautiful, the sounds and imagery do transcend this reality! ✨💗✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Tricia, thank you. I want to tweak it some but I hope the message came through.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was thinking one spouse died early and the other met up with him/her in dreams, but after death they will be together forever. I’m curious if I’ve got it right?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. msjadeli says:

          Once the poem is released, it is in the hands of the reader. If that’s what you see, then yes 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. So true! I’m okay with my poetry being subjective, but my short stories people must get, haha!

            Liked by 1 person

  9. Sadje says:

    Fantastic poem Li.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        Always a pleasure

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Love your clever way Jade, of making the refrain a little different from its previous one as you go down the line. It will not make it monotonous.
    Hank may have to adjust his poem to follow suit. Thanks, Ma’am for showing the way to be more innovative!

    Hank.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Hank, whatever I’ve learned about poetry has come from the wonderful poets at dVerse. Thank you for your kind words.

      Like

  11. Truedessa says:

    Beautifully crafted. A creative twist on the form.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Truedessa, many thanks, glad you like it.

      Like

  12. Xan says:

    Such a lovely phrase, “Come the sober rose blush of the dawn” not least because it’s somewhat awkward to say, like trying to remember a dream.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      🙂 ❤ Thank you for sharing what you see.

      Like

  13. Oooooooooh. Love the magical and soft ambiance that rolls throughout the poem, Ms. Lisa. Your repeating lines are so creative and beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Ms. Rosemarie, I’m so glad you enjoyed the poem, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. you’re welcome, Ms. Lisa!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. rothpoetry says:

    You did a great job on this prompt Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thanks, Dwight!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I love the mystery of this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You took us to a beautiful place. I wonder why dawn is so sobering?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. msjadeli says:

        Thank you, Christine. I see it here as an acknowledgement that reality is coming with it 😦

        Like

      2. msjadeli says:

        p.s. Thank you. Your comment inspired me to change the last repeat of that phrase ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh Lisa I thought it was such a brilliant line and it made me realize it is indeed sobering. It always brings a fresh perspective when it comes. You write do beautifully ☺️🌺💕

          Liked by 1 person

          1. msjadeli says:

            Christine thank you. Your comment is appreciated ❤ 🙂

            Like

        2. It was beautiful either way Lisa ☺️🌺💕

          Liked by 1 person

    2. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Ken.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    Great line Lisa… “Come the sober rose blush of the dawn”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Max, thank you.

      Like

  17. Love how you subtly changed the refrain gradually. Beautiful, Li. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Punam, thank you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Great job on the prompt Lisa❣️❣️👏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Cindy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  19. writingwhatnots says:

    To me this has a feel of an older, unrushed time. (Does that make sense?) Your mirror refrain is quite beautiful, yet sad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      I’m glad it evokes those feelings. It’s meant to feel timeless. Thank you, Marion.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. calmkate says:

    you took us right into the painting, subtle and mysterious … great writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Kate, thank you! I loved that painting the moment I saw it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate says:

        yes and it radiates throughout your poem Lisa, kudos!

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Excellent refrain, Lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. msjadeli says:

      Thank you, Sara.

      Like

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